Posterity
AN: Written as a response to a prompt on the Tiger & Bunny Anon Meme. De-anoned and posted here for your enjoyment?
Summary: Kotetsu's age is finally starting to catch up with him. Thankfully for our hero, it's Super Shaper Buns Briefs to the rescue! (one-shot, BarnabyxKotetsu)
Kotetsu T. Kaburagi was a powerful next, a hero, and a damn fine-looking man—or at least he'd always thought so. He'd been attractive enough to land a woman like Tomoe, in any case, and that was all that had mattered a few years ago. After his wife was gone, there was all the loss and the stress of having a daughter he couldn't protect because he was too busy being the hero his wife had always told him to be, and by the time his life started to fall back into place and he began thinking hey now Kotetsu wouldn't it be nice not to wake up alone for once?, he realized that he had gone past his prime without even realizing it. It was a nasty surprise, like taking a swig of milk in the morning only to realize after it was in your mouth that it had gone bad. Kotetsu hadn't realized that his expiration date was approaching.
Last night he had gone to bed a young man and woken up an old geezer, he realized as his back groaned and protested his long night of drinking with his partner. As usual, he had crashed on Bunny's couch, and this morning he was paying for it. A bit of groaning, crackling, and popping later, he managed to pour some coffee down his gullet and make his way to work. Barnaby was already gone, early as usual even after drinking a pretty impressive amount of wine. He didn't know how the guy did it, but maybe it was because he was still young. So damn young, no wonder Bunny calls you an old man, he thought darkly as he jogged to work.
Deciding to burn off a little steam, Kotetsu beelined for the training room, seeing a few of the other heroes there already. Hard at work as usual. Shuffling to the changing room, he was cheered up a little when he saw Antonio in there, changing into his work-out clothing. Now, Kotetsu didn't stare at his friends' asses very often, but he had to admit that Rock Bison's rump was mighty fine indeed. It was big and firm, but there was a nice curve to it too, and Kotetsu took that as a good sign. Antonio was one of the older heroes too, so surely there was still hope for him! He wasn't doomed to have unimpressive buns forever.
"Hey, Antonio," he said casually, a plan already forming in his mind as he went to his locker, pulling his own spandex shorts and tight workout shirt out. "How's it going?"
Antonio gave him a nod in response, grunting his own good morning. "Just getting ready to work out," he said, and undid the button on his pants. Kotetsu certainly didn't stare at his friend's perfectly sculpted ass in disbelief when he dropped his pants, examining every tight boxer-clad inch, because that would have been weird. Soon enough Antonio had on some tight-fitting shorts that did nothing to hide his ass, and Kotetsu was sure that Nathan would be groping his friend before the end of the day if he went around showing that off.
"I was thinking we could work out together… why don't you show me your routine?" Kotetsu suggested, not nervous or awkward at all as he tugged his shorts up over his much less impressive frame.
"It's the same as always, Kotetsu," Antonio shrugged, pulling a tight shirt onto his body. "Heavy lifting for strength!" he said, showing off his guns with a grin. "Looking to beef up?"
Kotetsu was looking to beef up, just not where Antonio probably thought. He could stand to gain a bit more on his biceps, he guessed, but he was more concerned about his ass. Maybe that was a weird thing for a guy to worry about, but when he looked around, all the men he knew had nice rear assets! There was Antonio, and Sky High was firm too, if a bit flat, and Bunny… well, he shouldn't even try to compete with his partner and his perky bottom. There was a reason that Barnaby Brooks, Jr. was the newest teen heartthrob in Stern Bild, and he thought that a lot of that reason was in his partner's pants.
"Well, your, uhh—routine for your glutes specifically," Kotetsu clarified, scratching distractedly across his chin.
"Glutes?" Antonio asked, sounding surprised and maybe a little shy. That was when Nathan walked in from the showers and gave Antonio's ass a smack, tugging the waistband of his boxers down. "S-stop that!" the hero growled, looking mightily violated.
"This is a little thing my company makes. I gave our Rock Bison a few pairs to test them out on an, ah, manlier physique, and doesn't he pull them off? Just look at those perfect buns!" Nathan said, tugging the man's boxers down enough to show a layer beneath them. It was invisible outside of the man's boxers, but Kotetsu could see that they were padded and gave a nice shape to Antonio's ass. That must be what made his cheeks so pert and luscious. "You're not interested in a pair, are you Tiger?" Nathan cooed, teasing. "I bet Handsome would finally notice you if you had these buns," he said, and Kotetsu protested furiously and went to go work out.
As soon as it was quitting time, though, he went home and ordered five pairs. "Eye-catching buttocks instantly!" the ad proclaimed. The underwear came in a few different colors and styles and were modeled by a lean young man who probably didn't need them at all, but still looked fabulous on him. It was easy to see his firm ass and the bulge in his pants through his short jean shorts, and Kotetsu guessed that the product line was mostly geared toward a… well, a younger, gayer consumer, but a middle-aged man going through his mid-life crisis could enjoy them too! Kotetsu waited a tense couple of days before they came, staring glumly at his own body in the mirror. Getting old sucked. Not only was he losing his powers, he was losing his good looks too? But he wouldn't have to worry about that for long! His Super Shaper Buns Briefs were on the way, and soon his shapeless, bony, flat, sagging buns would be lush and have "eye-popping cleavage!" He had never given any thought to butt cleavage before, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He wasn't an old man yet, no matter what Bunny said! Soon, he would have an ass any hero could be proud of!
The briefs arrived on his doorstep early one morning, and Kotetsu was quick to sneak the package inside, setting it on his kitchen table and grabbing a knife so he could cut through the packing tape and get it open. He had to get in there and get his briefs on before Bunny got here! He was coming to pick him up this morning, because they had an important interview and Bunny insisted that Kotetsu would be late if he didn't escort him. It was probably true, but he didn't have to like it.
He was already running late, actually, but he just had to get his briefs on and get dressed! And he was sure everyone would be impressed. He would be looking younger, trimmer, and sexier in no time!
That was when Barnaby knocked on his door. Groaning to himself, he tossed the box into his bedroom, hurrying to get the door before his partner had a hissy fit. Bunny might deny it, but he had them quite often, usually when Kotetsu was taking too long or blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk or something equally fun. Bunny just didn't know how to let loose and have a good time. "Coming, coming," he called, quickly opening the package and tugging on a pair of the briefs. He didn't feel any different at first, but when he tugged on his pants, he felt like they fit better. They were a little tighter in the rear, but in a good way. In a your-butt-is-looking-fabulous-today-Kotetsu sort of way, and he only managed to tear his eyes away from his ass in the mirror when he heard his impatient partner knocking harder on the front door and remembered that he had things to do today besides admire his new, perfectly proportioned buttocks.
"What took you so long, old man?" Barnaby huffed when he finally opened the door, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and flipping his hair in irritation. Oh, Bunny was always the same.
"Just had to get dressed, but I'm ready now!" he said, smoothing a hand through his hair and setting his cap on his head. "Let's go, Bunny! Our fans are waiting for us," he said with a wink, locking up behind him and sashaying down the front steps and out to their car. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but in the back of his mind he was hoping so hard that Bunny's eyes were on his ass.
He didn't know where Bunny's eyes were, but after a long day of interviews and working with the other heroes, Kotetsu was pretty confident that someone had noticed his new buns. The interviewer that morning seemed awfully flustered when he turned around and bent to pick up the paper she had dropped, and when he returned it to her with a grin, there was a definite blush spreading across the pretty woman's face. Blue Rose had seemed oddly pink and flustered when he saw her earlier that morning, although he wasn't sure why. She had rushed off when he asked if she had a fever and moved in to touch her forehead, so he had guessed that maybe she was running off to the doctor's. He really couldn't be sure, but then again, teenage girls were impossible to understand. Nathan had given him a coo and a knowing wink when he caught sight of his backside during their training that day, and Antonio had even sighed and clapped his hand over his face in a "you too?" sort of way.
It was pretty stupid, but maybe that was just the way of aging heroes. It was hard to keep his confidence when he was surrounded by attractive young heroes with more fans and more time than he had. He could only be a hero for so much longer, and then what would he fill his life with? Of course there was Kaede and his mom, and maybe he'd go to work with his brother in the liquor store, but… that didn't seem like enough to fill his time with, after spending so many years fighting crime and saving the people of Stern Bild with his fellow heroes… and his partner.
He and Barnaby hadn't been partners for that long, but he still felt like the man was a huge part of his life. What would he do without Bunny's impatient grumbles to spur him forward in the mornings, or the friendly clap of a hand on his shoulder after a long day of hard work, or even a strong pair of arms to catch him and horribly embarrass him whenever he fell off a building? Granted, he assumed he'd be falling off of buildings a lot less often once he retired, but still. He wasn't sure what he'd do without all of that, and if those briefs made him feel young for a bit longer—let him believe he could still be a hero for five or six or eight more months—it was worth getting them in every style and color.
"Want me to spot you, Kotetsu?" Bunny asked him while they worked out that afternoon, coming up to him looking sweaty and particularly parched. He brushed his sweaty curls back from his face, taking a sip of his water. "Antonio said you were looking for new exercises for your routine… I'll show you mine if you want," he said, in a way that was completely casual, without any trace of ulterior motive. "First, I always start off with sit-ups… want me to hold your feet?" he asked with a smile that wasn't the least bit perverted.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts away before he did anything foolish, Kotetsu let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah… I guess a few new exercises couldn't hurt," he said. What a foolish, foolish man he was.
As it turned out, Bunny's workout routine could hurt—and it did. A lot! Maybe he was just too old to do a young man's workout, but Kotetsu emerged from their training session feeling sweaty and awfully sore. By then, the rest of the heroes had gone home and he and Bunny had continued working (despite Kotetsu's protests that they needed to rescue some Chinese takeout from the clutches of some evil Next who was working at the place down the street). He was utterly spent and not smelling like a rose either after all the sit-ups, crunches, lunges, and whatever else Bunny had put him through. Maybe he should just stick to his usual old man workout.
"Don't whine so much, old man. Let's hit the showers and then you can come to my place for some fried rice, all right?" his partner suggested with a smile, clapping his back in a way that almost made the soreness in Kotetsu's abs worth it. Almost, he thought with a groan, but not quite. "I've been practicing," Bunny said, which didn't come as a surprise at all to Kotetsu. Practice made perfect, and Barnaby was never happy with anything less than perfection. Maybe that was why he worked out so hard and looked so good, and Kotetsu was just a bumbling old man in comparison. Oh well. Someday he'd have to accept that he just couldn't keep up with the youngsters anymore, but he'd save that for another day. When he was less tired. Right now he was too tired for anything but that shower and the fried rice that he was sure would be absolutely delicious.
Hobbling into the locker room, Kotetsu grabbed a towel and a fresh set of clothes from his cubby and made his way over to the showers. They were fairly open, but he didn't care. Nobody had ever peeped on him before, and he figured Bunny was focusing on his hair or practicing his perfect smiles in the mirror or getting his girly shampoo out of his locker. He stripped without thinking, and since he had forgotten about the inner layer of shaping briefs beneath his boxers during the hard workout, he ended up in just those. Chuckling to himself, he shook his head and hooked his fingers in the waistband to tug them down when something stopped him.
It was a laugh from Barnaby, but closer than he expected—right behind him, echoing against his neck.
Tilting his head back at Bunny, he groaned. "Yeah, laugh it up, Bunny," he grunted, pulling a frown. "At least leave an old man in peace while he showers," Wild Tiger said, and definitely didn't pout. And if he did, Bunny wouldn't know, right, since he was facing the other way.
"Heh… I thought so. Did Nathan ask you to model these?" Bunny asked, stepping in closer behind Kotetsu, and the older man let out a soft hiss of surprise when hands settled on his hips. "He asked me too—the striped ones in the ad. Apparently he wanted to see them on a couple different physiques and… well, assets, for the line," he said, and Kotetsu gulped. He had thought those red-and-white stripe-clad buns looked familiar. Pert and cute and round like peppermint patties. What a weird thought to be having while his partner was practically whispering in his ear and his hands were on his hips!
Kotetsu let out another nervous chuckle, completely frozen. "Uh, y-yeah! I guess older guys, uhh, want to try them too… for the ones who aren't built like Antonio," he mumbled. "It's no big deal, all right? Just a favor for a friend…" Kotetsu said, hoping that Bunny would believe him. He didn't want his partner to realize what an old man he really was. He didn't want Bunny to know that he felt old sometimes, because that was what mattered, more than how many birthdays he'd had or how many injuries lay under the surface of his skin or how many buildings he destroyed putting criminals away. He could do all of that as long as it didn't make him feel old, but it was so hard to feel young now, with his powers waning and gray starting to crop up in his hair here and there.
But how could he fool Barnaby if he couldn't even fool himself? Bunny chuckled, and Kotetsu gasped when he felt a smooth chin rub against his shoulder. "Silly old man… don't you know you don't need them? Not when your ass is just fine how it is," Barnaby purred, his elegant long-fingered hands sliding beneath Kotetsu's briefs and groping handfuls of bare flesh, squeezing his partner's tanned ass the same way he would test the ripeness of a peach. "I have to admit, they look good on you… but I don't like everyone else looking. Don't they know I saw this ass first?" Barnaby murmured, and the slide of his lips across Kotetsu's sweaty shoulder and to his neck sent shivers down the older man's spine.
"B-Bunny," Kotetsu started, his voice shaky. What was going on? Was Bunny groping his ass? Oh god, Bunny was groping his ass. Did that mean Bunny was into him too? He had imagined a scenario like this a few times, where Bunny confessed his undying love to him all shy and blushing, but this was going way differently than he'd planned. For one, it had been his hands on Bunny's ass, and he wasn't the one blushing and shaking like a virgin schoolgirl.
Letting out a sigh, Bunny pulled back enough that Kotetsu was able to breathe again, his wonderful hands departing and going to rest on the blond's hips instead. "I'm not reading all those lingering glances wrong, am I? I know I'm not the only one who's been staring at a little ass every so often, or having odd dreams," he said, and when Kotetsu looked flabbergasted, turning to face him, Barnaby smiled. "You talk in your sleep sometimes, Kotetsu," he explained, and the older man groaned. So Bunny had known he was feeling weird and fuzzy around him all along? Maybe even before he had realized it?
"I know I call you an old man a lot, Kotetsu… but that doesn't mean I think you're old. At first, I did it to piss you off," he smirked, "But now it's sort of… well, a nickname. Like how you call me Bunny. I hated it at first, but now it's sort of… special. Something only my partner can call me. When I call you old man, it's sort of the same thing… so don't go thinking that means I'm giving you permission to get old on me, okay? I'll be needing my partner for a long time, so I expect you to keep up with me," Barnaby said, opening his arms for him, and Kotetsu thought that was the closest he was going to get to the shy love confession he had imagined.
"Yeah… yeah, I get what you mean, Bunny," Kotetsu nodded, giving Barnaby a hard squeeze and breathing him in, sweat and cologne and warm golden youth and all. "Don't worry, I won't let you down." Even if his powers ran out for good, he couldn't let his partner—his Bunny—down.
With a soft chuckle, Barnaby kissed his temple, and Kotetsu blushed when he felt soft curls brushing his cheek. What a strange, odd thing he was getting himself into. Already he felt like he was in over his head, but that was just the way he did things. He never waited to test the waters with a toe or two, he always dove in headfirst, and he guessed it would be the same in things like this. Ready or not…
"Good. So now that we've decided you don't need these… why don't I help you get rid of them?" Barnaby murmured in his ear, and Kotetsu gulped hard as long fingers hooked in the waistband of those briefs and tugged them right down to his knees.
