You woke up about 3 hours before everyone else would be awake you unwrap Sams arms from yourself and go to the bathroom. You close the door not bothering to lock it and pull out your blades. You just had to cut, you failed on a hunt with sam and dean and it was your felt so guilty and worthless. You sit on the toilet and takes a blade out from a little blue bag. This blade was your favorite, it went as deep as you would like to go even a little deeper than what you want. You think to yourself 'should I really do this? What about sam, would he see them?' You tell yourself to forget it you need to this this. You take the blade to your wrist and swipe. You look down and you can see in the cut, it was very wide and blood started coming up. You smile to yourself happily and did another cut that was even deeper. You sat there staring at the two cuts, watching the blood flow out. Then you heard the door open, Sam was there staring at you with shock and then the tears started flowing out of your eyes. " ( y/n ) why? " sam said quietly he had also started crying as well. " I...I am just so worthless and stupid it was my fault we failed the hunt ." sam came over to you and hugged you tightly " (y/n) it was not your fault… I love you so much please never do this again " you cry harder than before and he just held you and tried to calm you down. After a while you stop crying and sam looks at the cuts. He gets up and pulls out a first aid kit and he started cleaning your cuts. You hiss at the pain the sam looks up and says " we are almost done. " He puts bandaids on your two cuts and kisses you. " I love you so much " he whispers in your ear then he picks you up and carries you to bed and you two go to sleep.