Death Would Have Been Better
Fourteen years. That's how long Bellatrix waited for her Dark Lord to return. Everyone had given up hope that he was still out there. Except her, never her. She was his most loyal servant. She would give her life for him and his cause - the fact she has already given fourteen years already proves it. She would give an eternity more if it meant she'd see him again. Yes, she would give her whole life for a chance to fight with him and prove her allegiance to him again.
The Dementors mostly left her alone. The little happy thoughts she did have, they'd taken from her long ago. They had no interest in the fanatical thoughts that remained. There were rare occasions when a memory she'd long forgotten would return. As quickly as they returned, the Dementors also came and took them away
Bellatrix didn't have many happy memories of her childhood, but those rare and few she did have were pushed to the furthest recesses of her mind. Those memories served her no good in the life she lead. They were hindrances...weaknesses. However, when you are in a prison like Azkaban, all you have is time and all you do is think. So, on rare occasions, her mind would wander and her thoughts would deviate from her master to her youngest sister, Narcissa.
Cissy has always been more sensitive than her and Andy - too sensitive, in fact, that she'd always end up hurting. She also loved the purest, a trait Bellatrix both admired and hated. Bellatrix loved her sister. She was always there to protect her when there was need to. As children, Narcissa's purity made it hard for Bellatrix to ever be mad at her. This was true for their parents as well. Every time Narcissa was in trouble, it was always Bellatrix that took the blame. Cygnus and Druella would never dare punish their sweet perfect Pureblood youngest. "You should be a better example, Bella." They used to say. "Why can't you be more like Narcissa, Bellatrix."
Bellatrix was a rebellious child. Her parents wanted her to be the perfect pureblood wife and bear perfect pureblood children, but she never wanted any of that. She always felt she was destined for much more. Her name meant female warrior and that is exactly what she wanted to do with her life - to be a warrior. She never wanted to be someone's wife or a mother, no matter how much her father tried to beat the sentiment into her. The more they fought her on it, the surer she was that she wanted to fight for something. She didn't know what cause to fight for. She wasn't even sure she cared as long as it got her out of that house.
One fateful day, everything changed. She finally found that cause she'd spent her entire youth trying to find. She found it the day she met him. The Dark Lord. The moment she heard him speak, she knew this was it. She could finally become the person she was destined to be.
"With my guidance, dear Bellatrix, you would be magnificent," he promised her on their first meeting. He had seen something in her no one else had. Not her parents, and definitely not precious Narcissa.
She was brought out of her thoughts by the feeling of her left forearm burning. Glancing down at her mark, she watched as it came to life with movement. He has returned, she thought to herself with joy.
She licked her mark before she turned her attention to the sound of a blast coming from somewhere close to her. Finally, someone had come for them! Her fellow Death Eaters, and if she were lucky, the Dark Lord would also be with them.
She stood from her spot in the corner, and listened for other sounds. There were sounds of cheering and cries all around her. Her heart raced with excitement as her door was blasted open by a spell. She could see a figure in the smoke and as it cleared she could make out who it was. Her expression instantly changed from that of joy to one of nonchalance.
"Cissy," She gasped, as her sister entered her small cell.
"Bella! You're alright!" Narcissa replied, closing the distance between them embracing her in a hug.
Bellatrix stood unmoving. It had been nearly fourteen years, and he couldn't even collect her himself. Of all people, it was Narcissa he sent. He was probably busy. Yes, that was it - she was sure of it!
"He wanted to collect you himself." Narcissa's voice filled the room. "However, I insisted that I should be the one." Narcissa let go of her and took a step back. Bellatrix could feel her sister's eyes taking her in and for a quick moment she swore she saw something in her eyes. It was pity. Bellatrix could feel rage building up inside herself. Her sister, precious - perfect Narcissa, dared stand before her and pity her.
"Don't look at me like that!" She shouted. She was visibly upset. Her eyes narrowed in defense.
She watched as her sister looked over her shoulder to the hall she had just come from as if she were in a hurry. "Bella, we don't have much time." Narcissa spoke, her voice audibly panicked. "He doesn't know if you're still alive or not." She continued.
"Leave, Bella. Leave this life." Bella's eyes widened with shock as her sister continued her ridiculous rant. "Look what your loyalty to him has done to you." Her sister looked over her again.
Narcissa began pacing the room, looking over her shoulder occasionally making sure no one was coming. "You can go away, start a life somewhere else. He would never be the wiser." It was at this point that Bellatrix began laughing crazily.
"Cissy, you can't be that stupid." she spoke through the laughter. "Do you honestly think, that I would ever leave his side or even want to?" She chuckled, shaking her head.
Seeing the surprise on her sister's face as Narcissa pacing came to a halt, Bellatrix's laugh abruptly stopped. Her sister actually thought that given the chance she would run. "Oh, dear sister, it appears you are that stupid." She began to circle Narcissa. "Don't worry, little sister. Your transgression this night will remain between us." She paused, standing before Narcissa. "I'd hate the Dark Lord to think less of me because some time in these fourteen years, you decided to become a blood traitor." The way she spoke those words made her sound somewhat insane. Bellatrix looked her sister up and down before side stepped her and began to walk towards what was left of the door.
"What happened to you, Bellatrix?" Her voice low. Bellatrix swore she even heard a hint of disdain in her voice - not that she cared. "What did he do to you that would have you suffer so much here and still go crawling to him like he was some kind of..."
That was it, Bellatrix had enough. She turned swiftly, closing the distance between them once more. "If you want to keep your tongue Cissy, I suggest you do not finish that sentence." Her words flowed like venom.
"You are bordering treason. Not that I expected any different, you did marry a coward after all." She looked at her sister with disgust. "How wonderful has your life been since my dearest brother in law renounced our Lord, pretending he was under the Imperius?" The question was rhetorical, for Bellatrix knew exactly how her precious sister's life had been. She could tell just by looking at how pristine her sister looked, standing before her now.
"You dare question my loyalty to our Lord? He's done more for me than you could ever imagine." She spat. "He came back for me! I'm important to him- his cause!"
'Oh Bella, why can't you see that he will never care for you the way you wish him to." She spoke, sadness in her voice. "He will use you and then once done, there will be nothing left."
Bellatrix stood un-moving as her eyes narrowed as she watched Narcissa.
"What happened to you?" Narcissa continued. "We were so close once."
Bellatrix stood quietly for a moment as if in deep thought. Turning she again began heading back towards the exit of her cell. She stopped just before reaching it, turned her head to the side and spoke just above a whisper. "That girl is gone. She was weak." She turned her attention back to the exit and resumed her leisurely pace out of the room. "Let's go Cissy, my master is waiting. We are going to have so much fun now that I'm back at his side." She laughed menacingly.
As Bellatrix exited the room, all that was left was rubble and a broken Narcissa. They say heartbreak is usually between two lovers. That isn't always the case. For that day, Narcissa's heart shattered for another reason. The loss of her sister. Not physically, no. However, any trace that was left of the person that Bellatrix was before she met the Dark Lord, was gone. She spent almost fourteen years worrying if Bellatrix was alive in this place or if all that was left of her were bones and dust. At that very moment Narcissa had one thought. Maybe, just maybe, her sister's death would have been better.
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