Disclaimer: I do not own HP. Although I wish very much I could own Draco Malfoy : Stares dreamily in space :

A/N If this is very bad please tell me so I can quit writing all day and go out and do something I'm good at. Also this fanfic was inspired by the 101 ways to annoy Voldemort. It's only short on the first chapter because I'm testing to see what people think first. Thank you :D

Chapter one

Voldemort stared into space sitting at his desk chair, his evil mind working at a fantastic rate. Ingenious plans forming in his scheming mind.

'We are the cheeky girls, touch my bum this is lif.... Damn muggle song! Damn Blake! Got it in my head!'

Voldemort crossed him arms moodily and sat in a sulk.

Someone backed into the room with what looked like a cake trolley. Sitting on the trolley was a mug saying 'Evil genius at work.' Tom Marvelo Riddle groaned. It was Blake. The one person who could ever annoy Voldemort the most was Blake.

He was sworn to protect Blake because of some ancient magical debt prophecy. If Blake died or was injured Voldemort would feel the same too.

Blake realised this and never missed an opportunity to irritate him.

So Blake backed into the room and started busying himself with the kettle and cutting slices of fruit cake. He turned round and smiled 'My sir, you do look particularly menacing today.'

Voldemort glared at him and narrowed his snakelike red eyes.

'Listen, Blake,' he spat his name 'Death Eater meeting this afternoon. You are NOT invited. So don't come cos I don't like you that much and I really resent you knitting me that luminous pink nose-warmer last time!'

Blake grinned as Voldemort continued 'Show your face today and I'll......I'll...um...'

'Yes Tommy-boy?'

'I'll......Don't call me Tommy-Boy!'

Blake grinned his annoying grin yet again and said 'So I can't call you Tommy-Boy?'

'No'

'Never ever?'

'Never ever!'

Blake shrugged. 'Ok then'

He turned round and pushed the trolley with the uneaten cake minus the mug which was now sitting next to Lord Voldemort's chair.

Blake turned round just as he reached the door and said 'See ya later Voldie-Poo'

The mug smashed against the door just as Blake closed it.

A/N Okay Thanks again. Chapter two is in the making now.