This story takes place after 14x16 after April kissed Jackson and he pushed her away. I just want to make things right for Jackson and April since Grey's won't. Sarah Drew will be missed.
April had done it. She had kissed Jackson. It was not how she had pictured their next kiss would be – and him pushing her away had made her spiral just a bit more.
As April sat in the attending's lounge, she started to think of all the things that had gone wrong in her life – from Samuel, to Jackson, to all of the unjust situations that she had seen unfold before her. She wasn't sure how to go about anything at this point. She was empty and she was starting to realize that this was something that wasn't going to go away on its own. She no longer had anyone in her corner and she knew that if she didn't start to take care of herself, no one else would. April had decided that she would try to go to therapy, mostly for the sake of her daughter.
Right as April came to this decision, she approached Bailey. She had decided she needed a break – from being unhappy, from seeing her ex-husband fall in love and mostly, a break from this person she was becoming.
"Chief Bailey, can I talk to you for a second?", asked April.
"I don't have much time for talking Kepner, I have a hospital to run and it's particularly busy today", replied Bailey as she rushed past April.
"This won't take long. I quit. Effective immediately" April responded as she caught up. Bailey was caught by surprise, but before she got to ask any questions, April was gone.
April had just gotten to her first therapy session. She had found this doctor on Yelp and was hoping she could provide her with clarity on her situation.
"Hi April, my name is Jessica. It's a pleasure to meet you", the young doctor said as she entered the room and sat across from April. April sat quietly as she stared at the floor.
"So what brings you in today?", she followed up after she realized April wasn't going to respond.
"My kid. I don't know why I'm here or how I got here, but I'm here for my kid. To be better for her. Can you help me?" April responded without lifting her eyes off the floor.
"I sure hope so. How do you feel April? I need to know how you feel to help you", Jessica responded intrigued with April's statement.
"I feel like nothing matters. It doesn't matter whether you're a good person or not, life just keeps coming at you. I'm empty and I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know where to start. I've been a good person my entire life and it has gotten me nothing. As a matter of fact, it cost me a husband and a child – and now I have another child that I love very much. And it destroys me that I have to raise her in a world where nothing matters." April responded as her eyes got watery. She hadn't opened up this much to anyone in a really long time. "I want to give up, but I can't. It's not fair to her."
The therapist stared at April and she could feel her despair. She wanted to fix her.
"I guess we need to remind you of all the things that do matter", the therapist responded as they officially began their session. The session took about an hour. Talking certainly helped April, but she was nowhere near healed – she still had a long way to go. As she made her way to her apartment, she stumbled across a familiar face waiting for her.
"You quit?" Jackson said as he caught her by surprise.
"Jackson –" April began as she tried to stop him. She wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not to him.
"What's going on with you April? I'm really worried about you. This isn't like you. And the fact that you didn't even tell me –" he said as his voice got louder.
"You won't even notice I'm gone" replied an unbothered April.
"April it doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to be enemies, I still care about you" he said as he grabbed her face and tilted it towards him.
"You care about me?" She laughed. "How long did it take you to come to that realization? Did it happen while you were ignoring me and falling in love with your sister? Or do you only care now because you've been watching Harriet more and it interferes with you spending time with your sister? It's been months since you talked to me about anything other than Harriet and now you care? Go to hell Jackson."
Jackson stopped in disbelief. He didn't know she was this pained by his actions. As much as he wanted to fight back he realized that maybe he hadn't been as available to April as he had thought.
"I'm not in love with her and she's not my sister", was the only thing he could get out.
"Keep telling yourself that", she replied as she unlocked her door.
"April I'm sorry for not being there for you. I should've noticed. But I'm here now – what can I do?" Jackson pleaded.
"It's too late" April remarked as she walked into her apartment and closed the door on him.
