Eek! We're Giddy!
By: Emmy and Erin
[Scene: In dark, dark room with no one but a group of old fashion cowboys and a cloud of bad-smelling, icky smoke from one individual cowboy.] Quatre: Duo! Stop that! Smoking is bad!! Didn't you participate in the D.A.R.E program?! Trowa: . . .
Quatre: Help me out here, Chibi Tro-chan!
Wufei: You can't say anything, schism-druggie.
Quatre: What did you say?!
Wufei: I remember you singing your theme song last night, 'Gettin' Wingy Wit It.'
Quatre: *gasp* I did no such thing!! Chibi Tro-chan!!
Trowa: . . .
[Another cowboy enters the saloon.]
Heero: I'm here to pick up the cowboy that challenged me to a duel.
[Heero whips out a gun from duffle space]
Duo: *looks to author* Duffle space?! What have you been doing?
Emmy: Gettin Wingy Wit It!
Duo: . . .
Trowa: >:( . . .
Duo: ;p . . .
Trowa: >8o . . .
Duo: XD . . .
Trowa: XO . . .
Quatre: Stop it! I'm getting a headache...
Trowa: :(...
Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan! Hidoi! We'll have to talk to Catherine about your drooling problem.
[Chibi Tro-chan hides under table.]
Wufei: Who the hell is Chibi Tro-chan?!
[Heero points to cowering figure under the table.]
Wufei: That's Trowa.
Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!
Wufei: Trowa
Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!!
Wufei: TROWA!
Quatre: CHIBI TRO-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duo: Ohh, I like the outfit Hee-chan.
Heero: ...
Duo: Why, you ask. I'll tell you why. Those pants are tight!
Wufei: Shut up Maxwell. It's your turn.
Duo: Hehehehe. Oops. Two Kings.
Wufei: Three Aces.
Quatre: Five twos.
Duo: BULL SHIT!! BS!BS!BS!
Quatre: Damn. How did he know?
[Quatre looks at cards.]
Quatre: Wufei!! You BSed!!!
Wufei: Huh? What did I do now?
Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!
Wufei: Trowa!
Trowa: :( . . .
Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!!
Wufei: Trowa!!
Erin-Emmy-Quatre: CHIBI TRO-CHAN DAMMIT!!
Wufei: Eep!!
[Wufei hides under table with Chibi Tro-chan.]
[Heero looks at Duo.]
Heero: Your pants aren't that bad themselves.
Duo: *gasp* Hee-chan? Do you have a concealed weapon with you?
Wufei: No, baka. That's just his />BEEP\
Duo: No shit, Shenlong.
Heero: *blush* I feel... /violated./
Emmy: All cowboys! Draw your weapons!
Erin: Ready... Aim-
Emmy: SHOOT DUO!!
[Everyone is caught off guard and follows directions and now it's too gory so we need to switch scenes.]
[SCENE CHANGE]
[Cheerleaders everywhere, men in drag. DROOLFEST 2001!!!]
Duo: *cheering* H-E-E-R-O is dressed as a shouj-o!
Quatre: Watch this! Wufei and Chibi Tro-chan have a cheer!
Heero: Let's see.
Trowa: . . .
Wufei: . . .
Trowa: ... ... .
Wufei: . ... ...
Trowa-Wufei: .. .. .. .. .....!!!
Quatre: *sniffing* That was... beautiful!! ('o')
Duo: X[
Quatre: What the hell was that Duo?
Duo: I figured a vampire must've taken their talent instead of blood. That's why their cheer sucked. Ain't that right Hee-chan?"
Heero: *stars in his eyes* Sugoi!!! Can you teach me?
Duo:...
Trowa: :o
Wufei: First you must answer our questions.
#1. Have you ever dressed in drag before today?
Duo: You bet he has!
[Heero hides his blushing face behind his pom-poms.]
Quatre: He has?
Duo: Yep.
Wufei: Question #2:
How do you feel about the colors salmon pink and sepia?
Heero: They're beautiful! *Quatre nods in agreement*
[Duo stands behind Heero making gagging noises.]
Wufei: Question #3:
Are you a virgin?
Heero: Yes...
Duo: What about last night?! Huh Hee-chan?!
Minna: ...
[Pause]
Heero: *blonde-like* What's a virgin?
Wufei: It means that you haven't been /BEEP>\ed or /BEEP>\ed anyone else.
Heero: *blushing* O-oh my... well...
[Hides face in Pom-poms again]
Heero: I'm just... so embarrassed!
Duo: *Snickers* Well just answer the question.
Heero: I-I guess I'm not.
Wufei: *Nods* Question #4:
What do you think of Duo?
Heero: *blushes RED~DER* I wanna unvirginate him.
[Duo grabs a dictionary]
Duo: *Flipping pages* Is that even a word?
Wufei: It means he wants to /BEEP>\ you.
Duo: *blushes* O-oh my... I'm embarrassed!!
[Hides face in Hee-chan's pom-poms.]
Heero: *Shrieks* Hey! Those are, like, totally mine! GAWD!!
Emmy: We need to put an end to this before Wufei teaches us things we /don't/ want to know.
Erin: Agreed upon. What kind of scene do you want to do? We're not killing Duo, you Duo-killer!!
Emmy: We're not shooting Hee-chan, you Hee-chan shooter!!
Erin: *pouts* Fine. I have the perfect scene.
[SCENE CHANGE]
[What would have happened if Duo and Heero found the Shi Jin Ten Shou.]
Duo: Where are we? I just wanted something to drink!!
[Duo and Heero cuddling together in an unknown land.]
Heero: Shut up. I don't like this anymore. I want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Fast Forward a couple episodes.]
Duo: Suzaku no Miko? That wouldn't work for me.
Trowa:...
Wufei: Bow when the Emperor is talking to you!
Duo: That's talking? What did he say?
Wufei: Skip the title. He wants to know one thing. Are you a virgin?
Duo:...
Wufei: How dare you mock the Emperor! You gay boy!
Duo: That was mean!!! *Runs away crying*
Trowa: ... ...... ...!
Wufei: Yes Chibi Tro-chan-sama. I will find her-er, him, at once.
[Wufei goes on a desperate search for his secret-love, Suzaku no Miko only to find her-er, him, sleeping with the Seiryuu no Miko. O_o]
Wufei: Du~u~o!
Duo: Ooh!! Hee-cha~~n!
Wufei: *nose bleeds* Eto...
Heero: Nakkie-poo!!
[Relena comes out dressed in Nakago's outfit and falls over.]
Relena: These shoulder pads are too-
Wufei: /BEEP\>ing heavy?
Relena: O_o Uhh, yeah...
Heero: Nakkie-poo! Take him away I'm busy-
Wufei: /BEEP\>ing Duo?
Erin: He likes saying that doesn't he?
Emmy: Umm, I guess Wufei is the only one that can say-
Wufei: /BEEP\>
Emmy: . . .
Erin: See what I mean?
Emmy: 'nyway... Let's skip a couple eps!!
[Seiryuu Summoning Ceremony.]
Duo: Ooh!! Hee-chan's cleansing his body!!
Wufei: *looks around* Umm, the miko has to be a virgin which means that you haven't be-
Duo: I HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE!! What happens if they try to summon the god and they aren't a virgin?
Wufei: They spontaneously combust.
Duo:...Shit... We gotta go save Hee-chan!!
Wufei: No!
Duo: Why the hell not?!
Wufei: Because when he's gone I can /BEEP\> you!
Heero: I heard that!
Wufei: Screw you!
Duo: That's my job!
Heero:*Comes out of pool* And you do it very well.
Duo: Hee-koi!! The big bad Wu-chan wants to take me away!
Quatre: No. That will be impossible.
Wufei: AHHHHH!!!!!! The old hag!
[Wufei gets smacked across the face.]
Quatre: You baka. Once a couple has formed a rabbit relationship, they can not be broken apart.
[Duo and Heero start dancing.]
Duo & Heero: We're rabbits!! We're rabbits!! And you're not!
[Wufei goes to sulk in the bushes.]
Duo & Heero: We're rabbits!!! We're rabbits!! We're rabbits!
Wufei: Shut the /BEEP>\ up!
Quatre: Did you know that Genbu was actually a rabbit, but people thought it was too stereotypical and so it was changed to the turtle and the snake?
[Heero and Duo pause to look at each other.]
Duo: You're the turtle! I'm the snake!
Heero: No way in hell! I'm the snake!
Duo: No I am!
Heero: I AM!!
Wufei: Shut the /BEEP>\ up!!!
[Wufei sighs melodramatically.]
Wufei: We can all be snakes ~*together*~!
[Still being weighed down by the shoulder pads.]
Relena: Did I hear some one take my title?! TAKE THIS!
[Fires off random ki blasts.]
Emmy: Now they can all be snakes ~*together*~ in Hentai Heaven. (tm)
[SCENE CHANGE]
[Concert hall and karaoke.]
Duo: *singing* (Duh, what else would you be doing in a karaoke hall?)
Wufei: /BEEP>\ing?
Emmy: STOP IT!! Anyways...
Duo: *singing* Oh where oh where can my ba~a~by be? The lord took him away from me~~~!
Heero: . . .
Trowa: >:( . . .
Heer-
Erin: We are -not- starting this again!!
Quatre: *singing* I've been sitting here just wasting time, smokin', drinkin', trying to fre~~e my mind!
Wufei: Shut the hell up! All of you! Show respect for our dead loved ones!
Minna: Huh?
Wufei: *Holds up Gameboy* Pikachu and Tentacruel! *starts sobbing*
Heero: But they're not dead. There right here. *Holds up own gameboy*
Wufei: No! They are but cheap imitations!
Duo: ...
Trowa: ...
Quatre: ...
Heero: ...
Emmy: ...
Erin: ...
Wufei: Have you people no hearts?! They are dead! Dead I tell you!
Emmy: Okay! Who gave Wufei an extra dose of his medicine??!
[Duo starts whistling.]
Erin: DUO! You get over here now!
[Duo meekly obeys, with Emmy and Erin whispering with backs turned to Duo.]
Emmy: Duo Maxwell! You are to be punished by...
Erin: J! He shall decide your punishment!
Duo: WAHH! Hee-chan! TASKETEE!!!
[Emmy and Erin get dressed in all black complete with Shinigami masks.]
Erin: Your fate awaits you! *Opens door*
Emmy: Muahaha!! J! KILL HIM!!
Erin: *Smacks Emmy upside the head* Stop it, Duo-killer!
Emmy: Bite me, Heero-shooter!!
J: Where is Maxwell?!?!
[Emmy and Erin cower and point to braided baka.]
Duo: TRAITORS!!
[Heero swoops down in loin cloth and scoops up Duo who is frozen in fear.]
[Heero pound chest in the air.]
Emmy-Erin: Watch out for that-
[Heero and Duo crash.]
Erin-Emmy: . . . tree.
[SCENE CHANGE WHILE THE PERFECT SOLDIER AND SHINIGAMI ARE RECOOPERATING]
Trowa: . . .
Quatre: Who's there?
Trowa: . . .
Quatre: Boo who?
Trowa: . . . . . .
Quatre: *Laughing hysterically* Oh man, Chibi Tro-chan! You are-re too f-funny!!
~OWARI~
Emmy: I don't think we should do another one of these...
Erin: Why the hell not?!
Emmy: .... ..
Erin: . . ... .
Emmy-Erin: OWARI!!!
Gundam Fanfiction Index
