Eek! We're Giddy!

By: Emmy and Erin


[Scene: In dark, dark room with no one but a group of old fashion cowboys and a cloud of bad-smelling, icky smoke from one individual cowboy.] Quatre: Duo! Stop that! Smoking is bad!! Didn't you participate in the D.A.R.E program?! Trowa: . . .

Quatre: Help me out here, Chibi Tro-chan!

Wufei: You can't say anything, schism-druggie.

Quatre: What did you say?!

Wufei: I remember you singing your theme song last night, 'Gettin' Wingy Wit It.'

Quatre: *gasp* I did no such thing!! Chibi Tro-chan!!

Trowa: . . .

[Another cowboy enters the saloon.]

Heero: I'm here to pick up the cowboy that challenged me to a duel.

[Heero whips out a gun from duffle space]

Duo: *looks to author* Duffle space?! What have you been doing?

Emmy: Gettin Wingy Wit It!

Duo: . . .

Trowa: >:( . . .

Duo: ;p . . .

Trowa: >8o . . .

Duo: XD . . .

Trowa: XO . . .

Quatre: Stop it! I'm getting a headache...

Trowa: :(...

Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan! Hidoi! We'll have to talk to Catherine about your drooling problem.

[Chibi Tro-chan hides under table.]

Wufei: Who the hell is Chibi Tro-chan?!

[Heero points to cowering figure under the table.]

Wufei: That's Trowa.

Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!

Wufei: Trowa

Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!!

Wufei: TROWA!

Quatre: CHIBI TRO-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Ohh, I like the outfit Hee-chan.

Heero: ...

Duo: Why, you ask. I'll tell you why. Those pants are tight!

Wufei: Shut up Maxwell. It's your turn.

Duo: Hehehehe. Oops. Two Kings.

Wufei: Three Aces.

Quatre: Five twos.

Duo: BULL SHIT!! BS!BS!BS!

Quatre: Damn. How did he know?

[Quatre looks at cards.]

Quatre: Wufei!! You BSed!!!

Wufei: Huh? What did I do now?

Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!

Wufei: Trowa!

Trowa: :( . . .

Quatre: Chibi Tro-chan!!

Wufei: Trowa!!

Erin-Emmy-Quatre: CHIBI TRO-CHAN DAMMIT!!

Wufei: Eep!!

[Wufei hides under table with Chibi Tro-chan.]

[Heero looks at Duo.]

Heero: Your pants aren't that bad themselves.

Duo: *gasp* Hee-chan? Do you have a concealed weapon with you?

Wufei: No, baka. That's just his />BEEP\

Duo: No shit, Shenlong.

Heero: *blush* I feel... /violated./

Emmy: All cowboys! Draw your weapons!

Erin: Ready... Aim-

Emmy: SHOOT DUO!!

[Everyone is caught off guard and follows directions and now it's too gory so we need to switch scenes.]

[SCENE CHANGE]

[Cheerleaders everywhere, men in drag. DROOLFEST 2001!!!]

Duo: *cheering* H-E-E-R-O is dressed as a shouj-o!

Quatre: Watch this! Wufei and Chibi Tro-chan have a cheer!

Heero: Let's see.

Trowa: . . .

Wufei: . . .

Trowa: ... ... .

Wufei: . ... ...

Trowa-Wufei: .. .. .. .. .....!!!

Quatre: *sniffing* That was... beautiful!! ('o')

Duo: X[

Quatre: What the hell was that Duo?

Duo: I figured a vampire must've taken their talent instead of blood. That's why their cheer sucked. Ain't that right Hee-chan?"

Heero: *stars in his eyes* Sugoi!!! Can you teach me?

Duo:...

Trowa: :o

Wufei: First you must answer our questions.

#1. Have you ever dressed in drag before today?

Duo: You bet he has!

[Heero hides his blushing face behind his pom-poms.]

Quatre: He has?

Duo: Yep.

Wufei: Question #2:

How do you feel about the colors salmon pink and sepia?

Heero: They're beautiful! *Quatre nods in agreement*

[Duo stands behind Heero making gagging noises.]

Wufei: Question #3:

Are you a virgin?

Heero: Yes...

Duo: What about last night?! Huh Hee-chan?!

Minna: ...

[Pause]

Heero: *blonde-like* What's a virgin?

Wufei: It means that you haven't been /BEEP>\ed or /BEEP>\ed anyone else.

Heero: *blushing* O-oh my... well...

[Hides face in Pom-poms again]

Heero: I'm just... so embarrassed!

Duo: *Snickers* Well just answer the question.

Heero: I-I guess I'm not.

Wufei: *Nods* Question #4:

What do you think of Duo?

Heero: *blushes RED~DER* I wanna unvirginate him.

[Duo grabs a dictionary]

Duo: *Flipping pages* Is that even a word?

Wufei: It means he wants to /BEEP>\ you.

Duo: *blushes* O-oh my... I'm embarrassed!!

[Hides face in Hee-chan's pom-poms.]

Heero: *Shrieks* Hey! Those are, like, totally mine! GAWD!!

Emmy: We need to put an end to this before Wufei teaches us things we /don't/ want to know.

Erin: Agreed upon. What kind of scene do you want to do? We're not killing Duo, you Duo-killer!!

Emmy: We're not shooting Hee-chan, you Hee-chan shooter!!

Erin: *pouts* Fine. I have the perfect scene.

[SCENE CHANGE]

[What would have happened if Duo and Heero found the Shi Jin Ten Shou.]

Duo: Where are we? I just wanted something to drink!!

[Duo and Heero cuddling together in an unknown land.]

Heero: Shut up. I don't like this anymore. I want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fast Forward a couple episodes.]

Duo: Suzaku no Miko? That wouldn't work for me.

Trowa:...

Wufei: Bow when the Emperor is talking to you!

Duo: That's talking? What did he say?

Wufei: Skip the title. He wants to know one thing. Are you a virgin?

Duo:...

Wufei: How dare you mock the Emperor! You gay boy!

Duo: That was mean!!! *Runs away crying*

Trowa: ... ...... ...!

Wufei: Yes Chibi Tro-chan-sama. I will find her-er, him, at once.

[Wufei goes on a desperate search for his secret-love, Suzaku no Miko only to find her-er, him, sleeping with the Seiryuu no Miko. O_o]

Wufei: Du~u~o!

Duo: Ooh!! Hee-cha~~n!

Wufei: *nose bleeds* Eto...

Heero: Nakkie-poo!!

[Relena comes out dressed in Nakago's outfit and falls over.]

Relena: These shoulder pads are too-

Wufei: /BEEP\>ing heavy?

Relena: O_o Uhh, yeah...

Heero: Nakkie-poo! Take him away I'm busy-

Wufei: /BEEP\>ing Duo?

Erin: He likes saying that doesn't he?

Emmy: Umm, I guess Wufei is the only one that can say-

Wufei: /BEEP\>

Emmy: . . .

Erin: See what I mean?

Emmy: 'nyway... Let's skip a couple eps!!

[Seiryuu Summoning Ceremony.]

Duo: Ooh!! Hee-chan's cleansing his body!!

Wufei: *looks around* Umm, the miko has to be a virgin which means that you haven't be-

Duo: I HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE!! What happens if they try to summon the god and they aren't a virgin?

Wufei: They spontaneously combust.

Duo:...Shit... We gotta go save Hee-chan!!

Wufei: No!

Duo: Why the hell not?!

Wufei: Because when he's gone I can /BEEP\> you!

Heero: I heard that!

Wufei: Screw you!

Duo: That's my job!

Heero:*Comes out of pool* And you do it very well.

Duo: Hee-koi!! The big bad Wu-chan wants to take me away!

Quatre: No. That will be impossible.

Wufei: AHHHHH!!!!!! The old hag!

[Wufei gets smacked across the face.]

Quatre: You baka. Once a couple has formed a rabbit relationship, they can not be broken apart.

[Duo and Heero start dancing.]

Duo & Heero: We're rabbits!! We're rabbits!! And you're not!

[Wufei goes to sulk in the bushes.]

Duo & Heero: We're rabbits!!! We're rabbits!! We're rabbits!

Wufei: Shut the /BEEP>\ up!

Quatre: Did you know that Genbu was actually a rabbit, but people thought it was too stereotypical and so it was changed to the turtle and the snake?

[Heero and Duo pause to look at each other.]

Duo: You're the turtle! I'm the snake!

Heero: No way in hell! I'm the snake!

Duo: No I am!

Heero: I AM!!

Wufei: Shut the /BEEP>\ up!!!

[Wufei sighs melodramatically.]

Wufei: We can all be snakes ~*together*~!

[Still being weighed down by the shoulder pads.]

Relena: Did I hear some one take my title?! TAKE THIS!

[Fires off random ki blasts.]

Emmy: Now they can all be snakes ~*together*~ in Hentai Heaven. (tm)

[SCENE CHANGE]

[Concert hall and karaoke.]

Duo: *singing* (Duh, what else would you be doing in a karaoke hall?)

Wufei: /BEEP>\ing?

Emmy: STOP IT!! Anyways...

Duo: *singing* Oh where oh where can my ba~a~by be? The lord took him away from me~~~!

Heero: . . .

Trowa: >:( . . .

Heer-

Erin: We are -not- starting this again!!

Quatre: *singing* I've been sitting here just wasting time, smokin', drinkin', trying to fre~~e my mind!

Wufei: Shut the hell up! All of you! Show respect for our dead loved ones!

Minna: Huh?

Wufei: *Holds up Gameboy* Pikachu and Tentacruel! *starts sobbing*

Heero: But they're not dead. There right here. *Holds up own gameboy*

Wufei: No! They are but cheap imitations!

Duo: ...

Trowa: ...

Quatre: ...

Heero: ...

Emmy: ...

Erin: ...

Wufei: Have you people no hearts?! They are dead! Dead I tell you!

Emmy: Okay! Who gave Wufei an extra dose of his medicine??!

[Duo starts whistling.]

Erin: DUO! You get over here now!

[Duo meekly obeys, with Emmy and Erin whispering with backs turned to Duo.]

Emmy: Duo Maxwell! You are to be punished by...

Erin: J! He shall decide your punishment!

Duo: WAHH! Hee-chan! TASKETEE!!!

[Emmy and Erin get dressed in all black complete with Shinigami masks.]

Erin: Your fate awaits you! *Opens door*

Emmy: Muahaha!! J! KILL HIM!!

Erin: *Smacks Emmy upside the head* Stop it, Duo-killer!

Emmy: Bite me, Heero-shooter!!

J: Where is Maxwell?!?!

[Emmy and Erin cower and point to braided baka.]

Duo: TRAITORS!!

[Heero swoops down in loin cloth and scoops up Duo who is frozen in fear.]

[Heero pound chest in the air.]

Emmy-Erin: Watch out for that-

[Heero and Duo crash.]

Erin-Emmy: . . . tree.

[SCENE CHANGE WHILE THE PERFECT SOLDIER AND SHINIGAMI ARE RECOOPERATING]

Trowa: . . .

Quatre: Who's there?

Trowa: . . .

Quatre: Boo who?

Trowa: . . . . . .

Quatre: *Laughing hysterically* Oh man, Chibi Tro-chan! You are-re too f-funny!!

~OWARI~

Emmy: I don't think we should do another one of these...

Erin: Why the hell not?!

Emmy: .... ..

Erin: . . ... .

Emmy-Erin: OWARI!!!


Gundam Fanfiction Index