In the 18 years I've been alive, my heart has never hurt as much as when James walked out on me. As I watched his retreating back fade into the darkness, I knew that my life had changed forever. Somehow, deep in my heart, I knew he wasn't coming back.

I've known James for almost 10 years, and I've always loved him unconditionally. I look into his emerald green eyes and I know that no one will ever understand me like he does. He is my light, my hope, my world. I know that no matter what happens in my life and no matter who I meet, James will always come first in my heart and in my mind.

But now he's gone. And I can say that, without a doubt, it is all my fault. I pushed him too far. After all these years, I finally pushed him too far.

I always knew that I was a little mean to James, but that's just how I am. I like everything to be perfect. He always joked that I'm especially obsessed with my looks. Maybe I am. I can't help it. Growing up, I was very poor. My mother's job in Team Rocket didn't pay well, and my father had died when I was five years old. I used to go to school in the same clothes every day. A little red dress, little brown boots that were at least two sizes too small for me, and a single red ribbon in my hair. I still have the ribbon.

At school, people made fun of me. My hair was unwashed. My nails were dirty. No one wanted to be around me. The only time they spoke to me was when they poked fun at me or asked me questions. The questions were the worst. Questions like "Hey, Jessie, how come you're so poor?" and "Hey, Jessie, I hear your mom is a criminal. Does she kill people?" Then they would all start laughing. Laughing at some great big joke. I hated them. It was worse when they asked about my dad. They knew that if they brought up my dad I would start to cry.

Some days I would come home from school with my eyes all red and puffy from crying. But I never told my mom the true reason I had been crying. I never told my mom the truth about school. I always lied. She thought that I had lots of friends. Sometimes she would tell me to invite them over. I just lied more and said they were all busy.

After my mom died, I was placed in a foster home. I was ten years old. I refused to even talk to my foster parents. I thought that if I acted like my mom was still alive, it would mean she was. Finally, my foster parents stopped trying to get close to me. They sent me away to a very elite boarding school called Pokemon Tech.

At Pokemon Tech, I hoped desperately to hide my past from the other students. It proved impossible. I became friends with one girl, Cassidy, and trusted her with my secret that I was very poor and my real parents were dead. The next day, the whole school knew. Cassidy swore that she hadn't told a soul, but I knew she was lying. Form that day on, we were rivals.

One day, Cassidy and some of her friends were making fun of me again. This one boy named Butch, who was always smoking, took out his lighter and started to wave it at me, as if he wanted to set me on fire. I stared at him, sure that he actually would set me on fire to impress his friends. He waved the lighter closer to me, almost making it touch my hair. I screamed. Cassidy laughed, cheering Butch on.

"Let her alone!" someone yelled from behind me.

"Oh, look, it's little Jimmy," Butch said in a taunting voice. "Little Jimmy who's too scared to play baseball with all the guys. Little Jimmy who plays with dolls!"

I turned around to see who it was that Butch seemed to hate so much. Behind me was a boy with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were like emeralds, a pure green that was so captivating I couldn't take my eyes off of them. When I finally tore my eyes away from his, I gave him a once over. His hair was blue, ocean blue like my eyes. He was kind of short and not too tough looking. I realized who he was. He was James, the rich little boy whose parents had sent him to Pokemon Tech in hopes of turning him into a man. From what I had seen, the boys picked on James quite a bit. I guess he and I had something in common.

"I don't play with dolls!" James yelled, blushing.

"Sure you don't, Jimmy, sure you don't," Butch replied.

Cassidy took Butch's arm and began to pull him away. "Come on Butch, this is boring now. We can deal with them later." Butch looked at Cassidy, and then he nodded.

"Right, we'll get them tomorrow." With that, they walked away, leaving me and James all alone.

I groped for words, not sure what to say to him. I went with what seemed the safest thing to say. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

He looked at me, unsure what to say back. But he didn't have a chance to think of what to say, for I broke down crying at that moment. Walking over to me, I felt him put his arms around me, holding me, comforting me. I held onto him tightly, as if without him I would fall off the face of the earth. Maybe I would have. I'll never know.

From that point on, James and I spent all our time together. We were both outcasts, freaks, the weirdos. Him because he was engaged at the age of 10, me because I was poor. And we both had in common the fact that we were failing Pokemon Tech. It was a match made by the gods. We were perfect for each other. We just hadn't realized it yet.

Ch.2 up soon. R&R