Twilight does not belong to me :)
Here's a taster
I would like to know if you guys like it, if not, I might not continue with it.
Full Summary:
Edward had left Bella, and now Bella's changed. Hoping to see Edward again to find a reason for his leaving she goes a vampire bar, and sits there night after night waiting for her Edward, because without Edward she's all alone. But she won't give in this his whims again, not again. She had trusted in him too much, the heartbreak too hard. She just wants the real reason for him leaving, to set herself free.
Edward's POV
I still remember the day I left Bella as it was as clear as yesterday, it has been ten years. Esme was wearing a Madeline vintage dress she bought in the late 50s. It was green with flowers printed on it. It was made of silk which gave a scent of flour adding to Esme's natural cinnamon scent. It was warming, it gave a sense of belonging, but will never be better than Bella's scent. The lovely freesia smell, my own brand of heroin. As I stared at Emmett and Jasper fighting with full speed, I imagined Bella as a vampire. The bright soulless red eyes that all newborn possessed. The eyes of a killer. Never, would I allow Bella to become one of us soulless monsters and be dammed for eternity.
It was the fear of her leaving me after changed. That she would fine someone better and more prefect. What she saw in me as a human might change, she might lose all her memories like Alice. There are so many possibilities and so many situations, all of them telling me it's a bad idea.
I first thought about being with Bella, watching her grow old and then joining her in the afterlife. But, all the danger Bella been in was because of me. It was my fault she got bitten by James, it was my fault she got hurt. It was my decision to bring Bella to the baseball field where she first met them. I was the cause to all the danger, I was the cause to her accidents.
We had moved back to London, Carlisle thought that it was time to visit his hometown, not that it matters much. Everything's changed, there's nothing left of Carlisle's era. Nobody objected to Carlisle's idea. The family atmosphere is dead, when we left Bella, it was as if we left one of us. We're currently staying at a house deep into the woods. Carlisle decided to take a break from medicine, and we decided not to go to school as it was no longer compulsory as the creation of synthetic blood made it possible to announce the existence of the vampire race.
Vampires were becoming ordinary, and the humans were divided into three groups, the vampire wannabes, the neutrals and the vampire haters. Despite our race being quite huge, we were still a minority against the humans. The Volturi has also become more meticulous and just. They blended in with the human government.
Rosalie and Alice also got what they wanted. Rosalie became a model, while Alice became a fashion designer. Carlisle was seen as a hero amongst the vampires. It seems as though everyone has moved on, but as a mind reader, I can see they still care about Bella. Their careers are just tools to fill the void that had been created when we left Bella. I became a even more brooding vampire, I stayed at home, just sitting there. It's as if time has been fast forwarded. I sit there, only leaving to get some synthetic blood.
The house contained a sufficient and handsome hall well celled with oak. On the western end were all our rooms, while on the eastern end is a kitchen and the dining room. There is a decent chapel covered with tiles, and a portable altar. My room was small, it contained a stone chimney, a wardrobe and a table. There wasn't any need for a bed. On bad days like this, I would sit in the corner of my room and reminisce about the past.
I realized the reason for me leaving Bella. It was the hardest thing for me to do. From the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. I was stupid and stubborn. I frequently decided that I knew what was best for Bella and left no room for discussion. That's because I'm a vampire right? I had to protect her, I knew what was best for her. Our relationship was inherently unequal and inherently unhealthy. There was no way she could have stopped me from leaving, I didn't see her as equal and did not tell her why I who claimed that she was the most important thing in the world is leaving her.
I had returned a year later, to see Bella, to beg for her forgiveness. Instead I got to see Charlie's mind, seeing Bella so broken, so torn apart, so dead. Only to find out she actually was dead. Mauled by a bear, how ironic. She became so dependent on me for happiness and when I left, she became an empty, emotionless zombie.
It was wrong of me to leave Bella. I didn't leave to protect her. I had deluded myself into thinking that. What kind of protection would work if the protecter wasn't there. I knew the threat of Victoria was still at large. I knew Victoria was going to attack Bella to get revenge, I should have stayed with her. But, I was afraid. I was very afraid of Bella leaving me. That maybe one day she would realize that there are people out there who were better than me. Afraid of feeling alone again. It was better to be the heartbreaker instead of being heartbroken. I was stupid, I had doubted her, doubted that she did not love me as much as I loved her. Doubted that all she wanted was eternity and not eternity with me. I deluded myself into thinking so negative. I imagined her leaven me after being changed into a vampire, she would laugh at me telling me that it was all an act. She would move on into the arms of Felix, and me there being ignored screaming and pleading for her to come back.
I went to the Denali for a year, I was so sick of myself. Full of self pity, it was disgusting. Tanya tried to make me feel better. I became her emotionless doll, agreeing to everyone of her whims as long as they were not full intercourse. But after a year, Tanya had it, she didn't want me. Even someone who had chased me for decades had decided to discard me, pushing me aside and lighting my dead cold heart alight. That had increased my doubt. Even Tanya dumped me, why would someone so perfect, so virtuous want me. Was it the idea of having a forbidden relationship that deluded her into loving me, the monster, the vermin stuck in a teenager's body.
Please review, I want to know whether I should continue it :)
Thanks for reading :)
