Disclaimer: The actors chosen were mostly random, and I have no problem with any of these actors at all.
Audition One
Arnold Schwarzanegger: Hello, Clarice... *Spots Julianne Moore.* .........Oh, man... *Schwing.* I'll be back! *Runs to the bathroom.*
Audition Two
Vanna White: Vowels in or out?
Ridley Scott: ...Who let a woman audition for the part of Hannibal Lecter, and it's BOWELS!
Audition Three
Paul Krandler: ...Huh?
Adam Sandler: GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A MORON! THAT'S THE MILLIONTH TIME YOU'VE SAID THAT! *Throws chair over.*
Audition Four
Michael Jackson: Hel--
Ridley Scott: Too feminine of a voice..
Jacko: *Runs off crying.*..
Audition Five
Christopher Lloyd: *Eyes bulge.* GREAT SCOTTS!
RS: ....WRONG MOVIE!
CL: .....Alrighty then?
RS: ....
CL: WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE, TOTO?! Come on, what am I supposed to say?!?!?!?!
Audition Six
RS: ...Do we have to audition this kid? He's not even old... and all he has is the eyes and the height...
Producers: *Nod.*
Elijah Wood: ...*Steps in.*
RS: ...Go ahead...
EJW: The Ring of P--
RS: WRONG BLASTED MOVIE!
EJW: Oops, sorry. Wrong script. *Flips papers around.* The apostle Paul disliked women as well.
RS: ....You do realize we'd have to make you look old if you get the part, right?
EJW: *Runs off screaming.*...
Audition Seven
Julianne Moore: I would really like some wine, Dr. Lecter..
David Duchovny: *Blink, blink.* Why are you calling me Dr. Lecter? I thought this was Evolution...
RS: ...I GIVE UP!
Audition One
Arnold Schwarzanegger: Hello, Clarice... *Spots Julianne Moore.* .........Oh, man... *Schwing.* I'll be back! *Runs to the bathroom.*
Audition Two
Vanna White: Vowels in or out?
Ridley Scott: ...Who let a woman audition for the part of Hannibal Lecter, and it's BOWELS!
Audition Three
Paul Krandler: ...Huh?
Adam Sandler: GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A MORON! THAT'S THE MILLIONTH TIME YOU'VE SAID THAT! *Throws chair over.*
Audition Four
Michael Jackson: Hel--
Ridley Scott: Too feminine of a voice..
Jacko: *Runs off crying.*..
Audition Five
Christopher Lloyd: *Eyes bulge.* GREAT SCOTTS!
RS: ....WRONG MOVIE!
CL: .....Alrighty then?
RS: ....
CL: WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE, TOTO?! Come on, what am I supposed to say?!?!?!?!
Audition Six
RS: ...Do we have to audition this kid? He's not even old... and all he has is the eyes and the height...
Producers: *Nod.*
Elijah Wood: ...*Steps in.*
RS: ...Go ahead...
EJW: The Ring of P--
RS: WRONG BLASTED MOVIE!
EJW: Oops, sorry. Wrong script. *Flips papers around.* The apostle Paul disliked women as well.
RS: ....You do realize we'd have to make you look old if you get the part, right?
EJW: *Runs off screaming.*...
Audition Seven
Julianne Moore: I would really like some wine, Dr. Lecter..
David Duchovny: *Blink, blink.* Why are you calling me Dr. Lecter? I thought this was Evolution...
RS: ...I GIVE UP!
