A/N: My take on Annabeth's thoughts. Sorry if it sucks badly.
Enjoy!
Percy Jackson and The Olympians
Title: Unrequited Love
Summary: If separate, these were just words, the latter more horrible and incomprehensible to me than the former. But combined, I'm sure that there is no other word in the world that were accurate enough to describe how I felt.
"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel." ~ John Maxwell
Unrequited love is the result if the words unrequited and love are put together.
I didn't exactly know why I screamed these two words inside my head. Not everything is a math equation. And I didn't have to lecture myself about compound words. Surely I knew that, by no means bragging.
But I had a strong feeling why I can't get it out of my head.
If separate, these were just words, the latter more horrible and incomprehensible to me than the former. A nothing that holds meaning. But combined, I'm sure that there is no other word in the world that were accurate enough to describe how I felt.
I flashback to a time where I thought it was impossible for anyone to fall in love with that idiotic Seaweed Brain. And if there ever was one who, may the gods forbid, actually loved him, then whoever that might be is crazy and a fool.
I never thought I would stoop to be that crazy fool.
I had spent nine and three-quarter years of my life in Camp Half-Blood; the best and the worst years of my life, hands down. All those years I thought about things that weren't trivial. I fought monsters. I tried to save Luke. I saved an enchanted tree. I tried to save Luke. I recruited new demigods. I tried to save Luke. I go about insulting goddesses. I tried to save Luke. I saved the world. And I saved Luke.
But it all comes down to that one person who stood by me in the worst of the worst.
I realized I was losing every single bit of my rationality to Aphrodite ever since I got my own quest. I realized that my mom must be rolling her eyes at what love turned her daughter into. After deciphering the Oracle's sayings, I suddenly felt like backing out because there is no way I am going to lose a love to worse than death. Of course, I instantly thought of Luke. But while taking the stairs from the attic and down, I thought... maybe he wasn't what the Oracle's referring to. Maybe he wasn't meant to be my anything or anyone.
And when I came back to the council, it took a lot of my control for my knees not to buckle when I met Percy's concerned green eyes.
My heart went thumping like bananas every time I was near him after that.
Had I ever told anyone of my feelings for Percy besides Silena would have resulted to a total disaster. Everything between us would be more complicated than it already was, people would start to talk, and yes, Percy's fatal flaw would go flaring again, which means I would have to dig ten thousand and two graves instead of the original ten thousand and one.
So I kept my unresolved feelings for the son of Poseidon a secret, doubting that he would ever look at me the same way.
I'd always pride myself for keeping my cool, for reason to gain control of my resolve. But with just one look at him, I knew I was losing it.
Percy being marooned to Calypso's island and his frequent run-ins with Rachel Elizabeth Dare fueled the fire in the jealousy I never thought I had possessed and I swear, Aphrodite must be in cahoots with the Fates; they're doing this to torture me and humiliate me.
Wasn't it enough that I have to live with the fact he'll never love me back?
I never told him I loved him. Even now. The words always seemed to get stuck in my throat whenever I tried. Well, Percy might not be the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, but I did try to show him. Many times.
I asked him out to the July fourth fireworks. I resisted the urge to cut his head off whenever he says something stupid. I took a knife for him during the Second Titan War. And ultimately, I kissed him at Mount Saint Helens.
I thought that was enough. I thought actions speak louder than words. But to him, apparently not.
But there were times that I wallowed in my own fantasies that he might actually like me back. Times when I caught him stealing glances. Times when he looked at me oddly and blushed and my heart started flopping pathetically. Again, I never told him that. Because, being a child of Athena, I needed to be sure of his feelings for me. I needed to be sure if he even has feelings for me. And also because, well, I was afraid of my pride being wounded.
Then all of my fears vanished when his sixteenth birthday arrived. We fought the war, won, and together we ate his birthday cake that Tyson and I made for him, watching the moon glaze down at us. He told me about that one person he thought about when he took a dip at the River Styx. He told me about that one person that got him grounded to his mortal life. He told me about that one in a million who influenced his decision when the gods offered him immortality.
My fears and insecurities vanished because I knew that person was me.
He never said it out loud that it was me, though. But it has to be me. I mean, I'm sure he wasn't thinking about Clarisse when he went swimming at the Styx.
Anyways, my theory was proved when we kissed. Underwater, as a matter of fact.
We weren't a flagrant couple. Percy wasn't too hot about it, and I wasn't either. Killing monsters, stolen kisses here and there. I finally found someone who actually didn't think I'm the most perfect girlfriend in the world and yet accepted me for it. And loved me for it.
And so I finally sighed in relief and thought my love was requited.
But everything changed when Percy disappeared during winter break. I went searching for my lost boyfriend, cursing Hera because I know she has something to do with this. And then Jason, Thalia's long lost demigod brother, breaks the ice and told everyone what I was dreading for months: The Next Great Prophecy was starting.
And I crawled back to my cabin and cried; because I knew what happened to Jason was also happening to Percy. Wiped of every single memory, Percy Jackson might not remember me anymore.
Our first quest. Our first argument. Our first kiss. Our first date. All our firsts, vanished into the thin air, crushed underneath the Queen of Heaven's heel. Percy Jackson might not even know my name.
I'm back to square one. I'm back to his love being a myth.
I'm back to my love being unrequited.
I stepped out of Argo II, scanning the camp, pointing out the differences between the Romans and the Greeks.
And that's when I saw him, all surrounded by his buddies – Roman campers, I thought resentfully – as he watched all of his former comrades step out of the ship.
Unrequited love. These were the words that I constantly screamed inside my head.
I am vain enough to have hoped he would remember me, but of course I have to scrape my butt off just so he'd remember his own mother's name. And of course, I knew it was hard. Would he listen to me? That question I asked myself went unanswered at that moment; he thinks everything between us was just a myth.
We locked eyes, and for a second, I saw everything. Every single memory of what happened to us flashed in his sea green eyes.
For a second, my love was suddenly requited.
I am determined to make everything between us a fact. Because everything about us is real.
A/N: Again, I'm sorry if that's it. I made it in record time of eleven minutes and twenty six seconds and I was challenging myself to get a insight of Annabeth's mind.
Please tell me what you think.
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