A/N:

ATTENTION: Apparently my summary along with the first two chapters are a bit confusing so I'm removing the summary, sorry for an trouble this may have caused.

Rating: (M) for Mature because of adult content. (Language, Lemons, Etc.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does.


Chapter 1

"Ooh, how am I gonna get over you?

I'll be alright, just not tonight, but someday,

Say it's coming soon, someday without you..."

Summer 2008

EPOV

Work, work, work, work... that's all I seem to be doing these past few days. The hospital has been a little under staffed and I was first choice to fill in. Not that I mind, really. I would much rather be at work then at home. Being home meant I would be with Tanya, my wife. I love Tanya with all that I am. I have loved her since high school. I knew she would be my wife since the day I met her. However, these days, I'm beginning to realize that high school Tanya is not the Tanya I'm married to now.

We have done nothing but bicker and fight the past two weeks, and that's not including two years back when we had a huge blow up. Every time she's left crying and I'm left throwing things around and eventually one of us leaves the house. I wish I knew what she was thinking, or what she wants from me because I'm running a blank mind here. This isn't how it's supposed to be. We should be treasuring every second we have together. We should be basking in the atmosphere of love.

I managed to stop at the local florist just in time before they closed for the night. I had the young attendant prepare a large bouquet of red roses because I love Tanya, and she deserves nothing but the best. I paid for the flowers and made my way home.

From the outside, everything appeared fine, calm, collected. Every light facing the road was off. I could faintly see a shimmer of light radiating the living room and I instantly knew it was from the kitchen.

'She's awake,' I told myself.

I parked the car and grabbed the flowers. I slowly made my way up to the front door and opened it. I could hear the soft music she was listening to and my heart fluttered.

'She's calm, she's ok', I told myself.

I walked in closing the front door behind me and I made my way over to the kitchen. Her back was facing me. Her blonde hair lay loose down and over her shoulders. I placed the flowers on the counter and went to wrap my arms around her, just like she loved me too. But... she moved away from my touch.

"Tanya, I'm..." I started to apologize for fighting the other night as I grabbed her flowers but she cut me off.

"Don't," she hissed as he turned around and placed her glass of wine on the kitchen island. My heart instantly sank when I saw the redness around her eyes. I instinctively moved closer to her. I needed to comfort her.

"Stay right there Edward," she paused and looked away. "This," she said pointing between yourself and I, "it's over."

"Tanya wait a minute," I begged. She can't be serious.

"Edward, you wait a minute. You never let me speak; you never let me talk for myself. For once, just stand there and shut the hell up." The fury in her eyes became evident and I backed away. I had never seen her this way. Even in our past discussions she had never told me to stay silent.

"I can't do this anymore. You are hardly ever here, and sometimes I don't even know what to think of it." She started crying now. "I'm left in this house alone with no one to talk to or be with. You moved us here to New York, and you've achieved everything you ever dreamed of, but I never did. I placed my dreams on hold as I watched you catch your own. I realized that there's so much I still want to do…"

I stood there, jaw on the floor, head pounding, asking myself 'what the hell just happened?' Tanya and I have been together nine years… nine years. Five of which we have been married. I couldn't understand.

"That's ridiculous Tanya. Don't put this only on my shoulders. I never asked you to do anything or to give up anything…" I hissed. The blood that ran through my veins was pumping now. "You never said anything about this until now, why now?" I asked. I stalked her against the counter, placing my hands on the counter behind her. She cried. "Tell me Tanya, why now?"

"I don't know Edward, but I'm not happy. I deserve to be happy..."

I backed away slamming my hand on the counter.

"I love you Edward..."

"Don't say that!" I hissed. "If you loved me you wouldn't be doing this to me right now. I love you Tanya. I love you with all that I am and I'm sorry that you feel like you can't trust me when I am at work, working to support you. I'm sorry that you feel alone here, I am. I have never cheated on you because I have always loved you and you have never given me a reason to. I do everything I do because I do it for you. Every few months you come out with this 'I want out' crap and if that's what will make you happy, then I will give you just that."

I turned my back on her and grabbed her flowers. I pulled each one apart and threw them around the kitchen. Love doesn't live here anymore. I felt the hot tears escape my eyes and I cursed the day she began feeling this way.

"Edward, I'm sorry, please... ignore what I just said. We'll be ok, we can work this out," she cried as she slithered down to the floor.

"I can't do that Tanya; I can't do this every time you feel like you want out. This isn't healthy for either one of us. I'll be gone in the morning..."

And with that I left the kitchen and locked myself in my study. I rested my head on the desk and cried for what seemed like hours. I listened as Tanya threw things around, as she cried and yelled with frustration. How did we get here? How did I not see any of this before?

I reached across my desk and dialed my only life line...

"Dr. Cullen speaking how may I help you?"

"Dad?" I cried.

"Edward? Son, is everything alright?" he asked worried.

"She did it again, she asked... and I'm giving it to her..."

"Come home son, come home..."

BPOV - Three weeks later...

I must have checked my cell phone a hundred times to check the time. I still have two more minutes before my appointment time but who am I kidding? You never get called exactly on your appointment time. It would truly be a miracle if that ever happened. So I'm sitting here, nervous yet excited all at once.

Two pregnant women are sitting patiently across from me. I daydreamed about the possibilities of one day that being me, and maybe, just maybe that one day will be soon. I couldn't wait to be a mother, and Jacob, my husband, was dying to be a father. Our dreams of being parents were crushed a year into our marriage when we started having 'issues' while trying to conceive. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome), and Jacob's sperm count wasn't the best. But we tried anyway. After a year we were placed on fertility meds that helped me ovulate regularly, but nothing happened.

When I thought all hope was lost, my best friend Alice introduced me to her fiancé's father Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Dr. Cullen had just moved to Forks a few months ago with his wife to be closer to their children. Jasper and Alice met while both attending the University of Washington and they quickly fell in love. When Alice came back home to Forks, Jasper quickly followed. When Jasper moved so did his twin sister Rosalie, along with her now husband Emmett.

Dr. Cullen is currently working at the local Fertility and Parenting Center here in Forks. He specializes in in-vitro uterus insemination and that's exactly what I went to see him about. He quickly placed me on medication and two weeks ago was our first IUI session. So now, here I am two weeks later waiting for my results.

"Isabella Swan," the nurse called out. I quickly jumped to my feet and grabbed my purse as I made my way over to the door. "Hello, how are you this wonderful afternoon?" she asked.

"I'm good, thank you for asking." I followed her into a small patient room where she took my blood pressure and weight. She excused herself after I sat on the small patient bed. I nervously bit my nails as I waited for Dr. Cullen.

I was startled when a young man came running in. He was wearing a doctor's lab coat with scrubs underneath. His hair was in complete disarray, sticking up in every direction. I couldn't tell if it was red or brown because the florescent lights over head were playing games with my eyes.

"Shhh..." he said as he closed the office door and turned to greet me. "Those nurses are crazy. I'm Dr. Cullen. You are?"

"Isabella," I answered a little nervous and confused. I shook his extended hand and narrowed my eyes at him. He looked oddly familiar. "You're not Dr. Cullen." I whispered loud enough that he heard. He chuckled.

"I am," he said looking me in eyes. I instinctively drew myself closer to him. His eyes were enticing, mesmerizing, a true emerald green. His awkward chuckle snapped me out of my trance.

"How rude of me, I'm sorry. I've just never seen eyes like yours before." I lied, because I have seen eyes like his before... Esme's eyes, the real Dr. Cullen's wife.

"I get them from my mother," he smiled. "And I apologize for the confusion. I'm Dr. Cullen's son... so that makes me Dr. Cullen too. you can call me Edward."

"It's nice to meet you Edward."

"Well I just have a few questions to ask you before my father comes in to see you." I nodded my head. "How old are you?"

"28, I don't smoke or drink, and my last menstrual cycle was four weeks ago." I paused as he stared wide eyed at me. "It's always the same questions," I laughed.

"True," he replied as he reached for the door. "Have a wonderful evening Ms. Swan."

"It's actually Mrs. Black, I'm married I just haven't gone through the name change or updated my patient file here."

"Mrs. Black." He nodded his head and exited the room. I ran my fingers through my hair and waiting nervously for Dr. Cullen.

"Bella! How are you feeling my dear?" Dr. Cullen greeted me as he walked into the room.

"I'm anxious and nervous, and excited..."

"Bella, breathe."

"Right," I laughed.

"Let's see the results of your test shall we?" he opened the file and skimmed the pages before him. His eyes narrowed and then opened wide, and then narrowed and I could feel my own imitating his. The suspense was killing me.

"Congratulations, you're going to be a mommy."

"Oh my, oh my," I repeated as the smile formed on my face. "I can't believe it! Thank you so much Dr. Cullen!"

"Carlisle... Bella, it's Carlisle, we are practically family, you know with Alice and all."

"Right," I smiled and I bounced happily on the patient bed. "Thank you so much." I got up from the bed and hugged Carlisle. I wouldn't be here without his help.

"Can we keep this between us? I want to tell Jacob before anyone else finds out."

"Patient - Doctor Confidentiality... remember?" he asked.

"Right, oh and Edward... he doesn't know right?" I asked nervously. Carlisle chuckled and shook his head.

"You met my son?" I nodded my head. "He doesn't know anything, you're secret is safe."

"Dad you in here?" Edward asked poking his head into the room. "I'm heading over to the hospital, see you tomorrow."

As Edward left I thanked Dr. Cullen one last time and made my way out the doctor's office. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I drove home. I practiced different ways of telling Jacob the amazing news at least a hundred times. Nothing seemed good enough. We've been married three years, and we dated for five, so that makes eight years... and for the first time I'm without words.

I rushed through the front door of our small but comfortable home. I called out for Jacob and got no answer. I went over to the kitchen and sure enough found a yellow rose with a note.

My dearest wife...

Have I told you lately how much I absolutely adore and love you? Yes? Well I'm saying it again... I love you with all my heart, and I adore you with all that I have. I'm sorry I'm not here to here the results of the lab work. I've been called into work. I'll be home late so please don't wait up for me.

Love you always,

Jacob

I folded the note and place it to the side as I mentally told myself... that it was ok, and that the news can wait.

I made dinner for myself and put a plate aside for Jacob. He usually always comes home hungry from work.

I showered and put my pajama's on before heading to bed. I never felt him come in...

I awoke to a loud knock on my front door. Barely able to move from the soreness in my muscles, I slowly got out of bed and made my way over to the front door. I brushed back my hair with my hands and tied a hair tie around it. I rubbed my eyes a few times before opening the door.

"Can I help you officer?" I asked.

"Are you Mrs. Isabella Swan?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Can we come in for a minute?" he asked as he pointed to himself and his partner.

Suddenly it hit me that Jacob wasn't home and that these officers were here.

"Is Jacob alright?" I asked nervously. I instinctively placed my hands on my stomach.

"Mrs. Swan..."

"It's Black, Mrs. Black," I answered a little too quickly.

"Can we please come in?" he asked again.

"Oh... no, no, no, please tell me he's ok," I begged. I moved to the side and allowed them to enter my home. I closed the door behind them and walked into my living room. I don't even remember sitting down.

"I'm sorry to be the barer of these news Mrs. Black, but Jacob was in an accident," the officer informed me.

"Where is he? He's going to be ok right?" I asked as I tried to calm my nervous. Every inch of me was shaking.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Black," the office said as his head shook and he looked down and away from me.

"NO! No! This can't be happening..." I cried.


A/N: Ok everyone, this is a flash back to the past, the following chapter will be in the present (a few months later) ... I will update every Tuesday and Friday.

I hope my writing is clear and alright... and I hope you enjoy this story as we progress in this journey...