Diclaimer: I do not own Make It or Break It or the song A Drop in the Ocean. All properties belong to their rightful owner.
A Drop in the Ocean
Payson Keeler stared at the uneven bars preparing for the routine she's practiced a thousand times before. Her routine was the hardest routine any female gymnast has ever performed. The level of difficulty was a 17.1. She jumped onto the bar and started it. She went from the lower bar to the higher bar, did a few flips and handstands and then flew back down to the lower bar. She flipped around the lower bar and went back to the higher bar. As she grabbed the high bar, a sharp shooting pain occurred in her lower back and then shot up to her arms and then to her fingertips causing her to let go and fall to ground. After she fell all she could feel was numbness everywhere except for this excruciating pain in her lower back.
Everyone was shocked to see Payson Keeler fall, and even more shocked to see Payson Keeler not get up and finish the routine nonetheless not move. Sasha Belov, Payson's coach at the Rock, ran to Payson yelling at everyone not to touch her and to call an ambulance.
"Payson! Payson! Payson!" Someone was calling for her but she couldn't answer.
"Payson! Wake up!" Payson slowly opened her eyes to see her mom standing over her. "Payson, it's time for you to go to Physical Therapy. Hurry up and get ready." Her mom walked out her room to let Payson get changed.
Payson sighed, realizing she dreamt her accident again, just like she has every night for the last month.
Three months ago Payson had suffered an injury during her uneven bar routine during Nationals, causing Payson to lose not only the National Championship but her career as an elite gymnast. About a month ago a doctor from Europe created a treatment that could fix Payson's back and let her return to gymnastics. She has been going to physical therapy for her back and dreaming of her accident ever since her surgery.
Payson walked into her physical therapist office after a long intense session. Payson had been in there for 10 minutes icing her back. After the timer went off, her Physical Therapist walked in and took the ice pack away. Payson got up to leave like she did after she iced at every session.
"Bye, Frank" Calling Dr. Joll by his first name. She stopped walking and turned around when he called her name.
"Payson, I want to finish this appointment with asking you a few questions."
"Okay" Payson sat back down in the chair.
"How does the back feel?"
"It actually feels great. I feel no pain like I did before."
"Great, that's great. How does it feel when you are exerting it during the exercises? Honestly."
"Honestly, there is no pain and it feels normal. Well, normal before the back pain and injury."
"Good. Payson I am clearing you for gymnastics." Payson was shocked. She didn't think she would be allowed to do gymnastics for a while.
"That's great thanks." She left and went to her mom's car that was parked outside the place.
"Hi, Honey how did it go?" Kim asked Payson after she got in the car.
"Fine, mom."
"Did you get cleared yet?" Payson didn't want to admit but she may have been physically ready but definitely not mentally. She would never tell anyone this but she was afraid, and Payson Keeler was not afraid of anything.
"No, I haven't gotten cleared yet." Payson felt bad for lying but as of right now she was fine with not doing gymnastics. "But do you think I could just go to the Rock from now on and just watch.''
Kim Keeler of course said yes, so Payson didn't sit around the house dwelling on not practicing. At least now she could be surrounded by her friends.
Payson had gone to the Rock for a couple days now and noticed how many new students they had. She saw new little kids and even a new male gymnast. While she wasn't noticing the new students she would sit and stare at the uneven bars for hours. She watched her friends Kaylie and Lauren perform their routines every day. She watched all the little kids do the uneven bars. She watched everyone do the uneven bars and looked on with envy.
She was Payson Keeler; how can she not do the uneven bars? Those were her specialty. Every gymnast feared her when she performed on the uneven bars. That was it. I'm going to the gym tonight when everyone leaves and finally going to go on the uneven bars. Payson thought to herself.
She asked Sasha if she could stay later than everyone and he agreed, knowing that Payson wouldn't do anything that could be dangerous by herself. So that night Payson went to the gym dressed in her leotard but wore shorts over. She put the gloves on and put chalk on them.
She went up to the uneven bars slowly, with the image of her falling slowly creeping up in the back of her mind. When she finally touched the low bar she saw the image of her falling and not moving. She backed off fast and turned to run away, and she accidently ran into someone.
"Oh, I'm so sorry; I didn't know anyone was here." Payson told the new male gymnast.
"I didn't mean to creep up on you, but from the look of things you looked terrified. So I wanted to make sure you were okay." The new gymnast said.
"I wasn't terrified." Payson said justifying herself.
"You jumped when you touched them and tried to run away." He said proving her wrong.
"Okay, fine, I'm not terrified by the uneven bars, I'm horrified by them. They scare the living shit out of me and I can't get over it. I can't even tell my mom that I got cleared to do gymnastics." Payson finally admitted out loud. "But you cannot tell anyone that I told you. Who are you by the way?" Payson asked.
"Well, I am greatly offended by that question." He said.
"I'm sorry if that came out rude, but should I know you?" Payson asked confused.
"Yes, you should. I'm the Olympic All- Around Gold Medalist Austin Tucker." Austin said.
"Wait you're Austin Tucker?" Payson asked confused.
"In the flesh," Austin said as he took a bow, "And you're Payson Keeler."
"I'm sorry I just have a lot of things on my mind and it just slipped right passed me."
"It's okay it would've happened to me, if I would've went through what you did."
"Wait, how do you know who I am?"
"Since you let me in on your secret, I'm going to let you in on mine. People may call me the bad boy of gymnastics that doesn't care, but I really do and I saw the senior gymnastic nationals, and your fall. I'd never thought I'd see you back in the game."
"To be honest I didn't think so either but I just couldn't give up. And now here I am."
"Yes, here you are afraid of the uneven bars, your best apparatus. What are you afraid of again?"
"What am I afraid of?" Payson couldn't believe he asked that question, isn't it obvious. "I'm afraid of falling. I'm afraid of breaking my back. I'm afraid that I won't be anywhere close to the gymnast I was before." Payson didn't cry in front of people. It was a rule of hers, but she broke that tonight. She couldn't hold everything in anymore; all the emotions just came out with one simple question. "And I'm afraid of being hurt, the blackness, the anger, the pain, and the numbness. I'm afraid of flying and not being able to hold on."
Austin hugged Payson. He rubbed her back to comfort her.
"Payson let me help you. Let me help you get over your fears."
"Why? Why would you want to help me, you don't even know me."
"Exactly, I don't know you but I have been through what you've been through. I broke my knee landing from the rings and I was afraid to go on them again. It took me a long time to get over it and just go for it. If I had someone that would've helped me through it, I know that the voice in the back of my head telling me to go run away would be gone. That the voice would not be in my head every single time I'm doing the rings." Payson wiped her tears and took a few steps back. She looked Austin in the eyes.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I-I got to go." Payson said and walked out of the Rock. Austin watched her get in her car and drive away.
He saw the sadness in her eyes and immediately wanted to help her. He wanted to make her "The Great Payson Keeler" again. He saw something in her that he has never seen in any other gymnast, not even in the national champion Kaylie Cruz. He knew that without that fall Payson would be in Kaylie's place. He knew that everyone knew that, and he could even see that Kaylie believed it too. Although Kaylie would never say it out loud, he knew she knew it was true.
Austin walked out the gym determined to help Payson get over her fear.
