"Well Holly I almost got caught with weed on my person by the police and I threw it into the bush beside me, and get this they had f $# dogs with them. DOGS! so long story short i ran my ass of and nearly broke my neck running from their f%ing dogs. So that's how my day went Holly how was yours?" Artemis said in a huff. "Well not nearly as exciting as yours but that can wait till later, my question is WHY IN FRONDS NAME DID YOU HAVE WEED?!". Her voice had been slowly rising until it was a shrill scream. "Because my nerves are on the brink of self-destruction Holly, that's why" he replied in the sarcastic way only Artemis Fowl could.
"Well next time you have an urge like that tell me about it." Then after a couple of seconds of thought she added in a very seductive voice "we can find another way to calm you nerves." "Hm... I may take you up on that offer Holly"Artemas replide with 1 of his trademark Vampire Smiles slowly forming on his lips.
'You may regret that offer.' he thought (fyi: this is the thought that caused the Vampire Smile to form). Holly was thinking the exact same thing. ' D'Arvit what did I just get myself into?'. With those last words Holly finishes eating and heads into her room to get "something" before Artemis finishes his dinner. She had a little surprise in store for him.'Teach him to yell at me' she thought with a grin.
Meanwhile.. Artemis finished up his dinner and tried to get up on his own,but it looked like he failed miserably (sorry for the repeat, lack of inspiration) Holly finally took pity on him and went to help him(what she didn't know was he could get up ,but right when he went to stand he felt his member go erect. He sat back down before Holly saw his "tent") ,but when she went to put her arm around his waist to help him up he yelled "NO!". She stopped immediately because she thought she had hurt him somehow, but when she started to look up her eyes caught sight of the "tent" (due to the height difference). She looked up at Artemis and saw that he was nearly as red as Commander Julius Root which on a good day that would be somewhere around the color burgundy.
She felt her own face start to turn red. She quickly removed her hand from around his waist and jumped first thought was' D'Arvit I knew this would happen!' and 'Why did I use the Gnommish curse D'Arvit ?' then 'Why did she jump back?'. Slowly Holly came back over to him and asked "What is THAT ?". Artemis' already red face became a couple of shades darker. "W-well Holly T-that's ..." was all he got out before total shock enveloped him.
Holly had yanked his night pants down(he had planed to go to bed after dinner). She hit his member with a stick (that was conveniently that was left lying around) which made Artemis yelp in pain. She dropped the stick and rushed over to Artemis. "I'm so sorry Artemis. I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you ok?". "NO I'M NOT OK YOU F%#$ING HORE! YOU JUST HIT MY DICK WITH A F%ING STICK THAT'S 3 F$%#ING INCHES THICK!". He yelled at her. She ran out of the room with tears in her eyes. "Holly I'm sorry ,I didn't mean to yell at you ,I was just in pain. Please forgive me."." Why should I?". "Because... Because... I love you. I have since we first met all those years ago.I was only aroused by your beauty. Please let me in Holly". Slowly she got up off the bed and unlocked the door. Artemis closed and re-locked the door behind him. Slowly he went over to Holly who had went back and sat on the bed with her arms around her knees that were now pulled up to her chest. He sat down next to her and said ...
