Roaring filled the cavern as the walls trembled beneath their weight, stones tumbling from the ceiling. Kakashi's stomach leaped into his throat when he gave the command to run. Minato-sensei had named him captain of the team. He was responsible to get Rin and Obito out of danger. His injured eye throbbed with the pounding of his heart as he rushed behind his teammates. Sunlight poured into the darkness when larger rocks were dislodged, bouncing into their racing feet. Without the use of his left eye, Kakashi found it difficult to judge distances. Twice already, he'd stumbled over rocks that he thought were somewhere else. The third time ripped his feet from under him. Then, he fell, air exploding from his lungs as he slammed onto the floor of the cave. Rin screamed Kakashi's name and Obito turned, eyes flicking upward. The jonin followed his gaze to the collapsing roof, where the largest stone yet had broken free. He could never get his feet under him in time.

Kakashi grunted in surprise when Obito grabbed a handful of shirt and the strap that held his father's sword. The boy hauled him up and flung him out of the way. Kakashi bounced across the ground, colliding with the wall as Obito disappeared beneath the rubble. The world screeched to a halt, regret and shame jarring through Kakashi. He should have protected Obito; the chunin shouldn't have come back for him.

The thundering collapse dissipated, and Kakashi tore to his feet, falling and stumbling on his knees to reach the place where Obito had vanished. Rin stood there already, tears streaming down her cheeks. She held one of Obito's hands in both of hers. He managed a smile despite the crushing weight of the boulder covering half of his body. Agony welled in Kakashi's chest as he shoved against the rock, willing it to move with every ounce of his strength. The stone didn't budge. Kakashi slammed his fist against the unforgiving surface, trying to summon anger. He could control rage easier than the overwhelming anguish he saw mirrored in Rin's eyes. Shinobi weren't supposed to cry. Kakashi forced himself to hold the pain close as he knelt beside his teammates, vowing to avenge Obito.

The cavern shifted around Kakashi, swirling into open sky and inky darkness. He heard the sea whispering against stone cliffs, felt the physical exhaustion in his body despite the adrenaline coursing through it. He and Rin were surrounded and alone, too far from home and help. Dozens of Hidden Mist shinobi advanced, drawing weapons, bloodlust shining in their eyes.

After gaining the sharingan from Obito, Kakashi had improved his skills, but he couldn't take on this many, even with Rin's help. She stood beside him, twining a strand of hair around one finger the way she did whenever lost in thought. Determination filled her light brown eyes rather than intimidation. The sight triggered something in the back of Kakashi's mind, but he didn't have time to figure out what it was. He had sworn to protect Rin with his life, and he intended to keep that promise to Obito.

Kakashi summoned his chidori and lunged toward the closest enemy. The lightning enveloping his right hand ripped through the man's chest like the scarecrows he'd practiced on. He took down a second enemy heartbeats later and was reaching for the third when Rin sprang between them. Though his sharingan registered her movement, Kakashi couldn't stop. Blue-white light reflected off her face as his hand slammed into her chest with irrevocable force. The breath whooshed from Kakashi's lungs as if he'd been the one attacked. The shock made chakra slip beyond his control. The lightning flickered out of existence when he gazed into her eyes, inches from his own. Rin trusted him, even as he killed her.

Kakashi had never entertained Rin's request to kill her, even after she revealed what had taken place while she'd been a captive. He refused to allow her to sacrifice herself for the village. Someone would be able to save her, even if he couldn't. Perhaps Minato or the Professor, they were far more knowledgeable in sealing jutsu than he was. There was no reason for Rin to die because the answer wasn't immediately available. Kakashi had already lost too much.

Rin whispered Kakashi's name around the blood filling her mouth, running in crimson rivulets down her chin. His world shattered. Agony ripped through Kakashi's chest when he couldn't reach anger quickly enough. Hot tears streaked his cheeks as darkness dragged him down.


Kakashi jerked upright in bed, crying out the names of his dead teammates. The blankets clung like hands as he tried to drag himself back into consciousness. His chest heaved as the images flashed through his mind, as they'd done nearly every night since Obito and Rin's deaths. Even now, all these years later, it hadn't grown easier to live with his failures. Sweat soaked the sheets, sending a tremble though Kakashi's body. He felt like he'd been through one of Guy's infamous all-day training sessions. He would have preferred that to the reality of his nightmares.

"Kakashi?" An unfamiliar voice mumbled his name. He slid a hand beneath his pillow, reaching for the kunai he started keeping there during his time in Anbu. The clandestine group had taught him how quickly things could end when you weren't prepared. His fingers brushed only the cool sheet; there was no weapon.

"You okay?" Sleep slurred the stranger's words, but Kakashi could still make them out. It wasn't his habit to wake up beside strange women, but he couldn't place the distinctly feminine voice.

As the panic of the nightmares faded, reality eased back in. Kakashi's room was darker than it should have been, but the gentle drumming of rain suggested that clouds hid the moonlight that normally streamed through the window. He turned toward the woman beside him as she repeated his name a second time, sounding more awake by his silence. His eyes adjusted to the shadows, and when Kakashi saw her face, he scrambled backward out of bed, feeling sick and dizzy. Frantically, he wracked his brain, trying make sense of what he saw or to recall falling asleep.

"Are you okay?" The woman asked again, concern finding its way into her voice as she sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Coughing, Kakashi swallowed around the lump in his throat. When he managed to speak, the words came out strangled. "What are—what are you doing here?"

Laughing softly, the woman tucked a strand of shoulder-length hair behind her ear. Kakashi closed his eyes, silently counting to ten before reopening them, wondering if that would dispel the illusion. She remained on the edge of his bed, head tilted as she watched him. Now that he Kakashi had a face to match the voice to, it had grown more familiar. "I'm pretty sure that most wives sleep next to their husbands."

"Wife?" Panic flooded Kakashi's voice as he stumbled over the word. While he couldn't remember falling asleep, he was fairly certain that he would remember getting married. The woman's eyes creased with worry, and she pushed herself off the bed to move toward him. Kakashi retreated backward until his shoulders hit the wall. The shock collapsed his knees, and as he slid down the wall, she rushed to his side

"What's wrong with you, Kakashi?" The glow of healing surrounded the woman's body before she reached him, hands stretching toward his chest.

Green light filled the space between them, and Kakashi noticed the swell of her stomach beneath the nightgown she wore. His heart hammered against his ribs. "You're pregnant?"

"This isn't funny anymore. You're scaring me." The woman's voice trembled, and the healing nimbus disappeared as she pressed a hand against Kakashi's forehead. "I can't find anything wrong with you but—"

"I'm fine. I just need some air," Kakashi interrupted. He had never felt less fine in his entire life, but he couldn't admit that. Forcing strength into his legs, he stood. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Kakashi placed a hand on the woman's shoulder and forced a smile. As he did, he realized that wasn't wearing his signature mask. How could he have missed that? "I'm going for a walk to clear my head. You should get some sleep," he suggested. At her uncertain glance, he found himself fighting the urge to kiss her forehead.

The woman frowned, and Kakashi knew that she didn't believe his lie. Before he could think of anything to say in its place, she closed the distance between them. She hugged him, nuzzling against his chest. The movement felt so familiar and so foreign that Kakashi couldn't breathe. His mind could no longer reliably process the world around him. Numbness washed through him until soft words pulled him from his thoughts. "I'll miss you. Don't be long, okay?"

"I won't," Kakashi answered, disentangling himself from her arms and turning away. His apartment felt the same, but there were subtle differences. Curtains covered the usually bare windows, and a vase of flowers rested on the table. He had never cared about such details when living alone. Two pairs of sandals waited by the door, another change.

Shaking his head, Kakashi knelt and pulled his shoes on. He'd slept in the standard issue navy shirt and pants that most jonin wore, but his face was bare. Rather than returning to the bedroom, Kakashi lifted a rain cloak from the pegs by the door. He could pull up the hood to throw shadows across on his face. Besides, he wasn't likely to run into anyone this late at night.

Walking through the sleepy village, Kakashi tried to make sense of the world he'd woken up in. Rain bounced in damp droplets off the cloak as his grey eyes took in the familiar scene. The same stone faces loomed down from the mountain, and the same houses spread their shadows across the street. But, everything was different. The earlier nightmare nagged at the back of Kakashi's mind, but he pushed it away to focus on his current situation. He couldn't possibly be married with a pregnant wife, a person didn't forget something like that. And even if he had, those facts weren't the most surprising things about tonight. He replayed the image of her face as he walked, tracing the gentle curve of her cheek in his mind. He couldn't reconcile the woman he'd seen tonight with the girl he remembered.

Sighing, Kakashi leaped from the street to the rooftops, crouching in one of his favorite spots. How could the village remain identical to his memory when everything had changed? Some dreams felt authentic enough to mimic reality, his nightmares were proof of that, but this felt different. Kakashi couldn't imagine wanting to forget the fact that he had a family, except for the certainty that it was fake. His night terrors forced him to relive the moments of his life that he wanted to forget the most: Rin's death, Obito's, finding his father's body, the nine-tails attack, or attending the funeral of the Minato and Kushina. Always, the worst moments replayed with vivid detail that made his chest ache and heart pound.

Tonight's dream had been no exception; it must be a new form of torture. Kakashi had never imagined a happy scenario with the clarity of his nightmares. It had to be false, though. Pinching the inside of his forearm did nothing to dispel the illusion. Exhaling, Kakashi cleared his mind of questions and focused on the calm inside. Then, he draw chakra. If this wasn't another nightmare, it had to be genjutsu; there was no other explanation. As Kakashi formed the hand sign and prepared the surge of chakra that would awaken him, reluctance filled him. Reminding himself that this couldn't exist, he closed his eyes and whispered the release command.

Kakashi reopening his eyes; everything looked identical to the moment he'd closed them. The second and third attempts to break the genjutsu convinced him that if this were one, it was exceptionally powerful. He didn't feel as if he were losing his mind. Kakashi felt perfectly sane, it was everything else around him that had gone insane.

Since neither pain nor chakra disruption freed him, Kakashi had no other options to force himself to wake. Maybe if he went to sleep in this world, he'd wake up in the real one. If not, he could worry about the problem more tomorrow. With one last glance across the rooftops, Kakashi started back toward his apartment. Outside, he paused to shake the water from his cloak with the snap of his wrist then opened the door. Hanging the pale cloak on the peg, he placed his sandals neatly beside the ones that could only belong to her. He used the walk down the hallway to gather his courage. Part of Kakashi wondered if it had all been a hallucination and he'd open the door to find his bed empty, as it always was.

It took a moment for Kakashi's eyes to adjust the darkness, then he found the woman's sleeping form curled beneath his blankets. She slept on her side, hair falling over her cheek while one hand reached toward the empty space where his body should have been. Kakashi paused to watch the steady rise and fall of her chest, wondering whether climbing into bed or sleeping on the couch would be more of a betrayal. If he slept on the couch and this were real, she'd be furious in the morning. If he woke up alone, this would be the only opportunity he ever had to hold her.

Whispering a silent prayer for forgiveness, Kakashi crept across the room and climbed beneath the sheets. Closing his eyes, he willed his heartbeat back to normal. He succeeded until her hand brushed his side, then slid over his stomach. Without waking, the woman snuggled closer to rest her head on his chest. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. She made the soft sound of half sleep that he'd heard a hundred times on missions when she first fell asleep or woke to take her turn at watch. "Missed you, Kashi," she mumbled, stirring.

The unfamiliar nickname surprised Kakashi, breaking through his façade of strength. Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he wrapped one arm around her back and marveled at the soft warmth. Logic told him this was foolish, that he'd only hurt himself by surrendering, but his soul teetered on the razor edge between agony and hope. Kakashi drew her closer, facing her as he cradled her body close. His voice cracked as he gave in. "I've missed you too, Rin."