It's best not to read this if you don't want to be spoiled about Book 5!

"I don't own any of these characters or settings. They belong to JK Rowling."

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Chapter One- Defense Against Horrible Teachers

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were holding their books to their next class, which was Defense against the Dark Arts. Harry however, seriously thought the class should be renamed Defense Against Horrible Teachers.

Ron said thoughtfully, "It'd be best to have her get knocked out the moment we step into her classroom, but I shouldn't get too hopeful." Harry and Hermione laughed as they walked into Umbridges's classroom, followed by a very disgrunted Ron. They sat in their usual seats and took out there books without any hesitation.

Professor Umbridge stared at them since the moment they came in and had forgotten to say her usual "hem, hem to catch the students' attentions. "Wands away," she said stubbornly, "WANDS AWAY!" she yelled at a disturbed Neville.

"Today we will be reading about..."

"You still having those nightmares, mate?" Ron asked.

"Course not," Harry lied.

"Good 'cause Hermione has been worrying like--"

"Hem, hem," there was that ear-teaswer, Umbridge, again. "I do not want to have anyone interupt my class, if you'd kindly catch my drift!"

Harry heard Malfoy snigger quietly while Umbridge's back was turned to the board. "Stupefy" read the chalk in swiggley, curly letters.

Again, Umbridge turned around, and in her girley voice asked Harry, "Do you seriously think you won't get caught laughing in MY class?!" Harry groaned. "This is your last chance!"

"That wasn't me Professor!" Harry said, highly doubting she would care, "It was Malfoy, Professor!" Neville, Parvati, and Lavender were among the many to nod in agreement. Dean looked around hopelessly and didn't nod as to avoid upsetting Seamus...

Her face went into that silly girly grin again... "Another week's worth of detentions, Potter I think. It would really suit your tongue! The way you talk back to a teacher!" She roared, turned her back once more, and wrote 'spell used to stun.' "Write that down, class." She turned to her desk and sat down, once again staring at Harry with a mixture of evil and hate.

Harry opened his mouth to talk, but knew it would be useless, so he shut it immediately. He could easily tell this was just what she was waiting for. Any problem: blame Potter. When was the last time Ron was wrong??? He knew Ron was right. She should've been knocked out the moment they stepped inside. After a split second of thinking, Harry thought up a brilliant idea.