A/N: I don't own FMA. Otherwise, Ed would be legal and the Colonel would be so married to him.
Oh, and attempting canon? I broke out into HIVES. R/R, because you brats definitely ignored me on my last fic.
Secretly, Lt. Colonel Riza Hawkeye was glad that Colonel Roy Mustang was so lazy. But, only sometimes. And when no one was looking.
The day had been surprisingly warm, the first warm day of the year. The Colonel had declared a holiday, much to the Lt. Colonel's outward chagrin (but inner glee). The only condition was the entire staff, the Elric brothers included, had to accompany the Colonel on a picnic and a friendly game of the western sport, football.
The first problem to arise was that the Colonel really didn't have the authority to declare a holiday, so the staff had to quickly throw together some official looking paperwork. Hawkeye tsked and looked the other way, while Falman refused to sign them, because they were a total lie and therefore against regulation. Breda solved this by forging Falman's signature and promised Falman that Falman could do Breda's work the following day. No one was quite sure why, but Falman seemed to think that this was an equivalent exchange.
The second problem was that the sandwiches that Fuery and Havoc managed to swipe from the dining hall were less than desirable. Alphonse, used to grocery shopping for his older, and more incompetent, brother, offered to pick up a few things and meet them at the park. This was met with a round of applause and few "Huzzahs!"
The third problem arose after the sandwiches had been consumed and the belching contest between Ed and Havoc had ended with Hawkeye rolling her eyes and drawing her gun. The Colonel had produced a strange, brown, oval ball and they had gone about trying to play this "football." Unfortunately, no one really knew how to play football, so for about half an hour they all just ran around in a circle, throwing the ball back and forth, tackling each other at random moments. Hawkeye had enough of that in the office, so she produced a whistle and blew it to get the staff's attention. It scared them enough that she HAD a whistle in the first place and no one knew it. She quickly and efficiently made up some rules, and had refereed until the men had more or less gotten the hang of it. Then she settled down under a tree to read a book that had long been neglected.
Predictably, the Colonel didn't last long. The game involved too much running, too much effort, and the man soon wandered away from the field. Precisely, he wandered over to where Hawkeye was sitting and plopped down beside her, folding his arms behind his head and preparing for a nap. She lectured him briefly about how he would have nightmares sleeping so soon after eating, but he waved her words away with his hand and promptly fell asleep.
The point of all of this? She liked watching him nap. He was so peaceful, even though he snored, sometimes loudly, sometimes softly. It was in these moments that she could watch him with a soft look and a small smile, because if he was awake then he would think he was getting away with something.
He snorted suddenly and his eyes opened and looked right at her. She stiffened, her face hardening, before realizing that he wasn't really awake. He yawned, stretched, rolled onto his side, his nose close to her hip, and started snoring again.
She knew in her heart that if she wasn't so hard on him, he wouldn't notice her at all.
"Don't tell Hawkeye," Mustang muttered in his sleep, "but I broke her favorite pen."
Her eye twitched and she went back to her book. Maybe she didn't want him to notice her.
