Poor, poor Canada~ haha another I started watching tele, but finished later.

*disclaimer: I don't own hetalia. Or Heaven. ^-^

IMPORTANT: i uploaded this a while ago, but changed it because i didnt like it. and...it was way too short. it has a long plot-please bear with me/


"…thinking about our younger years,

There was only you and me.

We were young and wild and free…"

Why? Why do people forget me? Why must I be cast away when everyone's talking and laughing with each other? All I can do is sit, alone. For Christ's sake, my only companion is a POLAR BEAR. And said polar bear can't even remember who I am.

I'll tell you why….it's because I am his shadow. I lay upon the ground waiting for him to fall; to trip and come tumbling off of his high horse. And even if he were to fall-I'd never let him.

He's too busy being reliable…

Away from those dreams of him being able to save everyone…can he even save everyone? After he's gone and assisted Germany breaking down the wall of Berlin and after he's given Japan hope of life again. When he's done with the futility of 'saving' Korea and meddling with Russian affairs…will he still survive?

Will he…have enough time to save me?

Not that I plan on fighting, I'm only hypothetically speaking. The 'what if' etched into the air around me, constantly swallowing me into my mind's thoughts of despair and confusion.

Confusion-that's the word that explains it. Everything.

Why does he always feel the need to save everyone? Why does he make sure he's protecting all those in need? I'm sure there are many others capable of help…probably more so than he.

But he's got the determination. The drive. The heart that can and will withstand it all until he can utter the words, "I did it!" Until he can claim victory.

I thought it was an insecurity that caused his obsession with saving everyone…but that's not quite right.

He genuinely cared for everyone.

It was about two years ago when it all happened. I hate thinking about it. I hate talking about it. I hate dreaming about it. But you know what? I can't help it. The dreams never go away. Reality never goes away.

Well, reality sucks.

I never used to really mind being mistaken for Alfred. Not really, I mean, when twins look so much alike-you can't really blame others for mistaking you. I could understand that people sometimes never saw me as "Matthieu Williams" but as "Alfred F. Jones."

But the thing that they now don't understand, is that I'm really NOT Alfred. I'm not loud and happy all the time. I don't like hamburgers in the slightest and I most certainly am NOT a Hero.

Though, a couple years ago-I could definitely be a candidate to be one.

But what hurts the most is that no one pays attention. No one listens to me, and when they do listen, they warp my words. They make me look crazy-when I'm not.

I'm tired of sitting alone in a room only clad in white. I'm sick of getting visits everyday from men whose names I can't even remember because I've been here too long.

From men who don't even remember my name.

I heard footsteps echoing their way towards me. A jingle of locks and the door that confines me to this stupid room swung open. "Ah, Alfred. Good, I was afraid I might have to wake you up. You have visitors coming later, but before that we'd like to conduct the usual examinations."

Fake smiles. Fake words. Fake people.

Oh- and I'm not Alfred.

I groaned and stood up from my crouched position in the corner of the room. Another day-another chance. Futile chance….but still a chance to change their minds.

To a person who hasn't been with me throughout the past two and a half years, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

Allow me too elaborate.


reviews:D im in the midst of writing the very long flashback-_-' but! i should be up within today or tomorrow:D