Yay! My first story! I really enjoyed writing this so I hope you guys enjoy it, also.
Warnings: Yaoi, very mild lime, angst, self-injury
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh! Sad day :(
'Blah Blah' Thinking
//Blah Blah// Yami talking through mind link
/Blah Blah/ Yugi talking through mind link
As Yugi walked into the game shop after school, it was the first day in a while that he didn't find the eerie quiet creepy. After his grandfather had died a few months earlier in a tragic plane accident, he and Yami had been left in charge, but neither had much interest in continuing to run the shop, so they shut it down, but still lived in the attached house. Ever since, Yugi hated being in the shop; it just felt empty without his grandpa there. But today, he felt like he was floating on a cloud. The most amazing thing had happened today at lunch, and every time his brain replayed the event (which was about every thirty seconds), his mood just kept getting higher.
*Flashback*
"So what did you want to talk about, Yami?" Yugi asked, as the two sat down a few tables away from their friends, earning several curious looks from the group.
"I, uh, was just wondering... um...," mumbled a clearly awkward yami, "Um, this might sound really weird..."
"Yami... you know you can ask me anything! What's up?"
"Ok well, I was just wondering how, err, you told your friends you were gay, since I obviously wasn't here yet...and um.. Yeah..." Yami muttered, suddenly becoming very interested in rearranging the food on his plate.
"Oh! Well, um..." Yugi started, rather caught off guard by the question, "It was easy, actually, since we all already knew Jou was gay, I just kinda brought up the subject with them one day, and told them. They were all really cool about it."
"Hmm... ok. Yugi, I'm gay." Yami stated, but started getting uncomfortable when Yugi just sat there blinking at him. "Uhh.. Yugi?"
"Well, that was blunt."
"But that's what you did, right?"
"Well not exactly like that..." laughed Yugi, "You might want to tell the rest of the gang a little slower."
Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Yugi and Yami got up to discard their trays of half-eaten food.
"That's great news, Yami," Yugi said as he hugged his darkness, "I'm sure the others will be happy to hear it also."
"I'm sure, but I wanted you to be the first one I told, aibou." Yami smiled. And with that wonderful thought in mind, Yugi skipped off to class, in a more bubbly mood than usual.
*End Flashback*
As Yugi dumped his stuff in his and Yami's shared room, a faint blush rose to his cheeks as several scenarios involving him, Yami, and this new revelation ran through his head. He had always cared strongly for Yami, but it wasn't until he had gotten his own body that Yugi had developed a crush on him. A few months ago, though, it had developed into something deeper, and with these new circumstances, it seemed even more likely that maybe, just maybe, Yami returned his feelings.
There was, however, that nagging voice in the back on his head, asking, "Why would the hot, perfect, gorgeous Yami like you, shy, weak, little Yugi? He could have anyone! We both know that half the school, both girls and guys, are after him; surely he'll pick one of them, and you'll be left with nothing." And on and on it went picking at every one of his insecurities, trying to deflate his incredible mood. But Yugi was doing a rather good job at ignoring it, as he started on his homework. He was going to be happy, damn it, no matter what the little voice of doom said!
A little while later, he finished his homework, and began to wonder where Yami was. For some reason, Yami had decided to walk home today instead of taking the bus, but wouldn't tell Yugi why. But he wasn't too worried, he probably just wanted to clear his mind. So Yugi decided to take a shower in the mean time, and as he was getting dressed afterward, he heard the door to the game shop opening.
'Finally. I wonder what kept him.' Yugi thought as he walked down the hallway. He could hear laughter coming from a shop, and then a voice.
As he got closer, he recognized the voice to be Yami's. And as he reached the top of the stairs, he could make out what he was saying.
"Well anyway," continued Yami, "Thanks for walking he home, Jou."
'Jou? What's he doing here? Maybe Yami invited him over to hang out.' Yugi wondered as he continued down the stairs.
"Oh it was no problem, Yami," Jou replied, "And I'm really proud of you for coming out..."
When Yugi reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned the corner into the game shop... and froze.
Yami was leaning back on the shop counter, and Jou had his hands on his shoulders, and was leaning in, almost like he was about to...
And then Jou's lips hit Yami's, and to Yugi's horror, Yami responded. Yugi yelped and turned to run back up the stairs, but not before Jou and Yami broke their kiss to see what had made the noise.
Yugi sprinted up the stairs and turned down the hallway. As he ran, the nagging voice of doom came back with a vengeance, delighted at its victory. "See? Yami's in love with Jou now, he didn't even give you a second thought. You're not worth his time or effort, and definitely not his love..."
//Aibou?// Yami called through the mind link, clearly concerned at his light's behavior. But Yugi didn't reply, instead closing the link. His brain was running a mile a minute, and the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment was Yami.
He then found himself in the bathroom that was across the hall from their room, and he locked the door and sank into the corner. But before he could even start thinking, a knock came at the door.
"...Aibou? Yugi? Are you okay?" Yami asked.
"Um, yeah Yami, I'm fine. I just uh, really had to go to the bathroom," Yugi replied lamely, mentally slapping himself.
Yami wasn't convinced, but decided to drop it. "Ok well, I guess you already know I told Jou... That's why I walked home; I wanted to tell him. And well, um, he kinda asked me out after I told him and I said yes, but I guess you already got that... Are you ok with that? I know Jou's a really good friend of yours..."
"Why wouldn't I be ok with it?" Yugi snapped, surprised by the anger he felt towards Joy. It wasn't like he deserved it. Yami was technically free territory. But it still hurt.
"I don't know... I just thought... Well, never mind, if you're sure you're ok, I'm going to start dinner."
"Fine." As soon as Yami left, all of the anger left Yugi, and tears started rolling down his cheers. He had lost Yami, HIS Yami, but he had never really had him in the first place. All he could do was cry; he couldn't even talk to anyone about it. The only one other than Yami he really felt comfortable talking to about this was Jou, even though he had never told him about his feelings for Yami. 'Would things be different if I had? Would Jou have backed off Yami, if he knew how I felt?'
But it didn't matter anymore; asking what if wasn't going to change anything. Yugi could feel his heart breaking, and desperately needed relief. He stood up and opened the medicine cabinet, and looking around, pulled out a razor blade. Without thinking, he went and sat down in the tub, and dragged the blade across his forearm. Yugi stared, mesmerized, as the blood started to trickle down his arm and into the tub, and with it, all of his sadness. It was as if it was also flowing out of his body, and down the drain.
He didn't know how long he sat there, but as the pain and bleeding started to subside, he slowly came to the realization of what he had done, and that he was sitting in a pool of his own blood.
Startled, he stood up and examined his arm. The cut wasn't very deep, and the bleeding had almost stopped. He took off his clothes and put them in a pile to take to the laundry room ,hopefully without Yami noticing. Then he got in the shower to rinse the rest of the blood from his body and the tub. When he was done, he went to the cabinet again to return the blade, and to get a bandage. Unfortunately, the cut was longer than most of the band aids, so he had to use a big one for skinned knees.
Before Yugi collected the bloody clothes, he ran across the hall to grab some clean ones. He got dressed, but as he walked back towards the door, he stopped and went back to grab a long-sleeved sweater. 'Yami shouldn't worry about this...' he thought. 'Besides, it was a one time thing... I'm better now.'
So what did you think? Good? Bad? Horribly disgusting? I know it was short, but the chapters do get slightly longer. I have the entire story written and typed up already, so I'll post the next chapter if I get atleast a few good reviews! I am really looking to get better at writting, so constructive criticism would be wonderful! So please review!
