The Babysitter

A oddly early dark Friday night, near king De-De-De's abandon castle (for the weekend) is Meta-knight(MENT-TA NIGHT)with a lantern with something rustling in the bushes.

Meta-knight: Be quiet!!

(rustling stops, something coos)

I think I hear him

(Roy lands in front of Meta-knight)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Meta-knight, you're lucky I don't have anything to do tonight.

Meta-knight: you're my last person to do the job.

(Every thing pauses)

Meta-knight's voice: people the reason why all the Nintendo characters can understand Roy/Marth/Pit is that we were all made Japan and imported to America and taught English. Unfortunate for Roy, Marth and Pit, they were later imported in 2000 in a game(Pit in 2006). Since the warriors sounded cooler in Japanese they didn't have to learn English, the lazy pieces of-

(everything resumes)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): you were not specific on what this "job" is…

Meta-knight: well of coarse, you'd turn down the job the instant you heard it-urb! (drops lantern, Roy caches it, Meta-knight covers his mouth)

Shouldn't said that.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (gives lantern back) lemme guess, suicide?

Meta-knight: not exactly…

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): "not exactly"?

(Kirby jumps out of the bushes)

Kirby: HI-HI-HI Roy!

Roy(in Japanese): (instinct as if questioning)

Meta-knight: I need you to…watch Kirby… when I'm 'an a mission.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): waddoya think I am? A babysitter?!

Meta-knight: I refuse to answer that question as it might incriminate me.

(Roy grumbles)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): where are the women? The Qualified baby sitters?Where is Zelda?

Meta-knight: out.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Peach?

Meta-knight: out

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Daisy?

Meta-knight: (sighs) out

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): nana?

Meta-knight: out(grumbles)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): hmmm…Sammus?

Kirby: auntie Sammy!

Meta-knight: out

Kirby: awwwwwwwww

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): hmhmmhmhmh…what about Slippy? He has all the time in the world…

Meta-knight: (gasps)

Kirby: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

(flash back montage, there is slippy and Kirby standing in front of the remains of the castle as meta-knight lands from his jet and jumps out form behind)

Meta-knight: I'm back and I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-yahhhhhhhh!!!

(montage breaks like glass)

Meta-knight: NEVER AGAIN!!!!!

Kirby: awwwwwwwww…fun!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Must've been(chuckles)…wait… why is every one out?

(skips to juice bar were all the girls are)

All the women: GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!!!

(goes back)

Meta-knight: mm-mm-mm(I don't know)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): I don't like "mm-mm-mm." Plus I don't even know how to take care of Kirby…

Meta-knight: It's simple, just like any 1 yea-

Kirby: naaaaaa!

Meta-knight: 1 and ½ year old.

Kirby: (happily) meh!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): okay, food at 6:00?

Meta-knight: yes, and if he gets fussy, sing.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (gulps) sing?

Meta-knight: you can sing can't you?

(camera zooms into Roy's eye, turns into a stage were he is singing a Japanese song at karaoke, then finishes

Roy jumps offstage were link is, suppressing laughter

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): all-right, Link where's my 50 blood red rubies?

(Link just shrugs and smiles nervously.)

RAAAHHH!!!!!

(Roy "jumps" Link and camera zooms out of Roy's eye)

Roy: unnnnnn

Meta-knight: no matter, I have his favorite song on a tape recorder(presses a button, plays, "Kirby, right back at ya!!" Kirby starts to dance goofy, Roy's face starts to puff up from suppressed laughter)

Well… I'm off, don't destroy the castle, the king will kill me.

(Meta-knight's cape turns into a pair of wings, and flies off to his jet and flies off, into the sky loudly)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): so whadoya wanna do next?

(Kirby gives Roy a look as if saying "well that's obvious")

Kirby: GAME CUBE!! Supah smash bos! Bash!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): this job just got better.

(the two run into the castle, Kirby is in front, the two are running upstairs, Kirby turns around still running)

Kirby: (sing song) kic boo-oot, kic boo-oot

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): you're right little guy…me… kickin' butt!

(they reach the room jump on the couch, Roy grabs the remote and turns on the TV, the screen is blank blue)

Turn on that game system that made me known in America little guy

(Kirby nods)

(Jumps and scurries over and turns on the game cube, then scurries back.)

( the narrator on the game) select character!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): all-righty, we know what we want.

(the narrator) ROY! KIRBY!

(Turns to the clock the minute hand changes from 5:13 to 5:56)

WINNER! KIRBY! 11-3!

Kirby: yay!

Roy: (gumble) ah! Almost feedin' time. Sooo, wadoya eat?

(turns to a closet labeled "pantry" and Kirby and Roy in front, Roy opens the door, a endless hallway of canned food is inside, Roy's mouth drops, Kirby jumps up to close it)

This king knows how to eat…

(Kirby pulls out a picture of king De-De-De from his mouth)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): ah, that could explain it.

(swallows the picture)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Sooooo, what's here…"canned tuna"-

Kirby: eewww!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): "canned tomato soup"

Kirby: yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): cool I'll whip it up.

(5 minuets later Kirby Jumps up on a chair with high legs at a small dining table, near the kitchen of the room Roy sets the can down on the counter and looks in a drawer, silverware is in there and Roy is shifting though the drawer. 5 sec. later Roy gets anxious)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Now it's gotta be here somewhere…

(looks though several drawers and cabinets, camera turns to Kirby who is reading "Nintendo Game informer" upside down.)

Kirby: 'EY! I nota 'pove 'dis!!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (yells from the kitchen) Kirby! I need help finding the can opener!

Kirby: (face changes from irritated to glad) (instinct)

(Kirby jumps down and scampers into the kitchen next door. Roy is franticly searching all cabinets. Kirby curiously in the blender, the oven-)

Heddo?

(checks the fridge)

Kirby: ohh! POP!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (not even looking up) DON'T…EVEN…THINK…about it!

Kirby: mokay!

(and finally checks the toaster)

Can't see…

(reaches hand in the toaster slot)

(Roy looks up)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): KIRBY! NOOOOOO!
(Kirby starts twitching and his hand is out of the toaster and falls to the ground KO'd and foaming at the mouth. Roy runs to Kirby's aid)

Little buddy you all-

(zap!)

Ouch! Still 'lectric!

(Kirby blinks)

Can ya hear me?

(Kirby nods, wipes the foam from his mouth)

Kirby: whao! Ingle-e!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Yea, that's what happens when ya reach in the toaster…

(Kirby twitches and blinks rapidly, just then, a arrow with a blue glowing arrowhead ricochets around the room)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): duck and cover!

(Roy ducks, Kirby takes a frying pan, attempts to hit it but the pan breaks)

Kirby: ahh-oh!

(Kirby jumps into the oven, as the arrow shaves the top of the can and finally stops hitting the wall. Roy gets up takes the arrow and examines it)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): only one guy has the whole blue glow thing…

(Kirby peers out from the oven)

Kirby: who?

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Pit, YOU JERK! Your way of helping is first scaring us but works out in the end.

Kirby: CAN!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): see what I mean Kirby?

(flash card appears saying 12 minutes later, disappears to Kirby and Roy sitting on the dining table with tomato soup in front of them, Kirby inhales deeply)

Kirby: ahhhh

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): smell good don't it?

Kirby: Doesn't it.

Roy: eh?
Kirby: you incorrect 'ammer.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): great, I'm being schooled in grammar by a 1 yea-

Kirby: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): excuse me 1 and ½ year old

Kirby: (happily)meh! Soup, (ssssssssssssssslllllllllllllllllllllllurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!) (BELCH)

Ahh,

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): did any one told you-

Kirby: Kirby still hungy

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): hey that's like-hey-wat are you- aaaaHHHH!!!

(Kirby using his hurricane suck, he eats the table, chairs, and Roy)

Kirby: mmm?

(Kirby reaches into his mouth and takes out Roy who is covered in tomato soup)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Nice. Looks like we need baths.

Kirby: (instinct as if questioning)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): that's right, we! you've been hangin' out with Rick. That big hamster…gerbil… thing.

Kirby: 'o?

(Roy picks Kirby up by the back of his head, Kirby whines and kicks air furiously)

No bath!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): okay first we can play in the garden, then a bath. (under his breath) why did I say that? (puts Kirby down)

Kirby: yay!

(Roy shakes off the soup and looks around)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): that was strange…

Kirby: Lisa-go!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (irritated) I'm comin'

(Goes to the King's garden where Kirby is running around, and Roy lays down in a lawn chair in a mosquito net)

Now let's see here, who has the ability to influence someone, hmmmm, Ganandorf, I wasn't hypnotized, I beat his butt two weeks ago… and there was that Pokémon Mewtwo… I've haven't seen him in forever…

Kirby: I Know!

(Kirby is peering into the net)

Auntie Sammy when she has her gun up to your head.

( Kirby and Roy chuckle)

(rustling in the bushes)

Kirby: (spins around) eh?

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): oh it's nothing I think that-(punches himself) KIRBY suck in the bushes!

(Kirby using his hurricane suck, for 30 seconds, the bush doesn't move. Kirby stops)
Kirby: (sighs), yahhh!

(Kirby jumps into the bushes, fighting and sounds of a boy in Japanese come form it)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Kirby stop, the only one besides me, Marth, and Pit that knows Japanese is… (Reaches in the bush, pulls out Kirby)

Kirby: 'ey I kicken boot!

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): sorry (puts Kirby down and Reaches

again) as I was sayin'; the only one who knows Japanese is…

(retracts)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): ow! Hot! Hot! Hot!

Kirby: RAH! (jumps and pulls out…)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): NESS! Did I say you can come over?

Ness(in Japanese w/caption below) un, no?

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Don't answer my questions with questions of your own. It bugs the heck outta me.

Kirby: 'orry for kicken the ev'er lovin' snot outta you.

(Ness glares)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): you gotta go

Ness(in Japanese w/caption below): I do?

(Roy ties Ness down so hard that only his head is visible)

OW! A little harder please! OW! I was being sarcastic! OW! What was that for?

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): 1st one was for trying to control my mind.

Ness (in Japanese w/caption below): I was trying to help Kirby have fun.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): I can do that all on my own thank you.

That 2nd one was being sarcastic, and the 3rd one was for stating the obvious.

(Roy unsheathes his sword and starts to charge up)

If I where you Kirb, I'd run.

Kirby: okay

(Kirby runs of screen)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): bye Ness!
(Roy swings his sword just before it hits Ness a huge explosion and Ness' shadow is on the moon falling)

Ness: ahhhh!

(there is Roy, standing there like a statue, and soot covered, still in the position, he falls over and the camera blacks out, in Roy's eye's he wakes up, in the lawn chair from earlier next to him is Kirby with a stick in his hand)

Kirby: You okay!

(looks down at the stick and throws it anxiously over his shoulder)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): (weakly) I got rid of him…

Kirby: OVERKILL MUCH?!

Roy: oops

(looks down at his hands)

We still seriously need baths

Kirby: ahh!

(Kirby attempts to run away, but is snatched up by the back of his head by Roy again, and Kirby kicks the air furiously)

NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO- BATHS!

(Skips to the baseball field bath house, where Roy is in blue trunks holding Kirby by the back of his neck, and the two come to the fountains/waterfalls)

Roy: ah-du-bwa!? (in Japanese) THIS is a bath tub?! (pulls out a map) hey… this map has been tampered with, there's pink crayon all over it… "baf-rom, is away"

(Roy glares at Kirby, Kirby just smiles nervously)

Ohh, I'm gonna enjoy 'dis!!

( Roy throws Kirby into a fountain, )

Kirby: wao!

sending Kirby into a waterfall)

eep!

(kur-splash! Just then, a black shadow like shape creeps from the spot were Kirby jumped)

Roy: ahh-jeez-Kirb!

( Kirby surfaces, appearing cleaner, then jumps on the edge)

Kirby: wah I ooh?

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): LOOK! You are soooooooo dirty that the pool is turning black…

( deep maniacal laughter)

What was that…?

Deep voice: I can create your darkest nightmares

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): an ambush?! that's it, I askin' for a raise…

(Something is spawning form the blackness)

Kirby: yahh! (runs off somewhere)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): 'ey! Kirby! Where ya goin'?!?!?!?

(Kirby runs back with the king's mallet)

Kirby: RAHHH!

(jumps toward the creature spawning, and hits it. The creature retracts into the darkness)

Deep voice: you think that the mallet will help…? (becomes king's De-De-De's voice) you piece of chewing gum?! Meta-Knight get rid of the pest!
(Kirby begins to sob while Roy grabs his sword)

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): Kirby?! What's wrong!?

(Kirby run's off bawling)

Come back!
(Roy grabs his clothing and follows Kirby)

What's wrong!?! We can take a copy of Meta-Knight! Everyone knows that copies are- hey! I didn't know you where that fast!

(Roy loses track of Kirby, but hears wailing and tracks it down to the library, where Kirby is looking for a book still crying)

What is going-

(Kirby pulls out a book, and the book case raises and a safe is there)

What's in there…? A weapon?

Kirby: (tearfully) n-n-n-n-n-no.

(Kirby opens the safe and pulls out figurines of him, Meta-Knight, King De-De-De, holding the mallet, a waddle-Dee and a monster, puts the figurine of him on the toy warp-star and lands him next to De-De-De's figurine)

Kirby: I-I-come…he no happy…(instinct)…

(makes the toy King hit the toy Kirby)

Meta-knight (instinct)

(makes the toy Meta-Knight slash at the toy Kirby)

Not know w-w-why not like me. I save kingdom,(makes the monster creep close to the waddle-Dee and makes his figure knock over the monster)monsters he got from M.M.E, and still no like me.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below): OHH! (under his breathe) that must've been a harsh memory.

Kirby: monster

Roy: eh?

Kirby: I-I-in 'ool, sent make m-me s-stay otta c-castle. N-n-no like me.

Roy(in Japanese w/caption below):