IF ONLY...
By Dadaiiro
"Yes, I'm upset about it, but... I can't really do anything to make it better, can I.
I can't believe I was so blind. Always so close to me, so close,and yet so far.
Every time we talked I felt special, it was a different feeling that I didn't really understand.
Understanding? huh... I don't think this word helped much back then. You don't need to understand everything you feel, you just... feel it. That's the way it is.
But I guess I realized too late. In fact, I didn't do it by myself; she was the one who told me that. You mustn't try to deal your problems just by calculating things or looking for a specific answer and meaning. Sometimes the best way to do it is to trust your instincts and yourself.
...
God I miss her. She has a very particular way of being. She can socialize with anybody. Kind of picky on things but she is pure hearted. It's funny if you think about it. We are completely opposite in our behavior, but maybe that is what makes this feeling stronger, like... like she was my missing piece or something.
When she was here with me I didn't dare to take my feelings very seriously. I just thought... 'what if this is only a tamporary thing? Is this really love? To start with, what IS love?'
Now that she moved away,... Why was I so stupid? I sometimes wonder if I really deserve the knowledge crest. I let her go, just like that, without telling her; and to make it worse, that day at the airport, I had a chance, my last chance, but what did I do with it? I just looked away, like a coward. She waved good bye, and she disappeared in the sky.
...
Oh well, I guess I just can't make it right by feeling bad about it. What is done is done. It's in the past. There's No way of going there.
I better put those thoughts aside for now. Maybe this can help..."
Koushiro turned on his pc and started working on a program he started designing a time ago. He just automatically signed on to a messenger service program and there, of all those names, a funny pen name caught his attention... "pinklesh girl".
A small smile grew on his lips and he just replied "...Well, perhaps it CAN get better after all..."
By Dadaiiro
"Yes, I'm upset about it, but... I can't really do anything to make it better, can I.
I can't believe I was so blind. Always so close to me, so close,and yet so far.
Every time we talked I felt special, it was a different feeling that I didn't really understand.
Understanding? huh... I don't think this word helped much back then. You don't need to understand everything you feel, you just... feel it. That's the way it is.
But I guess I realized too late. In fact, I didn't do it by myself; she was the one who told me that. You mustn't try to deal your problems just by calculating things or looking for a specific answer and meaning. Sometimes the best way to do it is to trust your instincts and yourself.
...
God I miss her. She has a very particular way of being. She can socialize with anybody. Kind of picky on things but she is pure hearted. It's funny if you think about it. We are completely opposite in our behavior, but maybe that is what makes this feeling stronger, like... like she was my missing piece or something.
When she was here with me I didn't dare to take my feelings very seriously. I just thought... 'what if this is only a tamporary thing? Is this really love? To start with, what IS love?'
Now that she moved away,... Why was I so stupid? I sometimes wonder if I really deserve the knowledge crest. I let her go, just like that, without telling her; and to make it worse, that day at the airport, I had a chance, my last chance, but what did I do with it? I just looked away, like a coward. She waved good bye, and she disappeared in the sky.
...
Oh well, I guess I just can't make it right by feeling bad about it. What is done is done. It's in the past. There's No way of going there.
I better put those thoughts aside for now. Maybe this can help..."
Koushiro turned on his pc and started working on a program he started designing a time ago. He just automatically signed on to a messenger service program and there, of all those names, a funny pen name caught his attention... "pinklesh girl".
A small smile grew on his lips and he just replied "...Well, perhaps it CAN get better after all..."
