Here begins a collection of prompted Kaidan/FemShep drabbles counting down to the release of Mass Effect 3, because I couldn't resist the hype any longer. Forgive any inaccuracies; they are mostly likely purposefully made in order to create a certain scene or mood. Today's drabble was inspired by a song from Moulin Rouge!.

Read, enjoy, review, and (insert standard disclaimer here).


17 Days-The Day When Dreaming Ends

"When will I begin to live again?

One day I'll fly away,

Leave all this to yesterday.

What more could your love do for me?

When will love be through with me?

Why live life from dream to dream?

And dread the day when dreaming ends."

-"One Day I'll fly Away", Moulin Rouge!

I used the last of my strength to slam my hand down on the evac button, allowing myself a small sigh of relief as the escape pod ejected. Joker was safe. Kaidan was safe. My crew was off what was left of the Normandy. And I was…struggling. Hands clutched onto whatever I could grasp, trying to anchor myself to the Normandy. There's no way I can get out of this, I thought desperately. I was being pulled back, out into space. Terrified (yes, the great Commander Shepard does experience fear), I felt my fingers fail me as I was torn away from my anchor and catapulted out into space.

For a heartbeat it was silent. Peaceful. I could just wait here until the rescue team came for me. The next heartbeat there was a beeping noise from somewhere in my suit, and I vaguely heard a hissing noise. Shit. My air! My oxygen! How was I going to breathe? Reflexively my hands felt behind my head, trying to fix the problem somehow. Another part of my head started to count what were inevitably to be my last breaths.

1…
..2…
…Pain blossomed in my chest….
..3…
…4….
..Gasping, my lungs were about to burst…
..5….
..6….

And then the last inhale brought memories of my love, and our dreams. We wanted to build a life together. We wanted so much. But I'm dying…

The very last exhale was accompanied with a plea, and his name.

Kaidan, please forgive me. I love you.

….

…..

….
Inhale

….

Exhale

Two years. I had died. Cerberus brought me back to life. Couldn't they at least have had the decency to bring me back a little earlier?

Two years, and everyone I knew had changed. Moved on, done the best that they could with their lives.

And I couldn't even be mad at them, because that's what I wanted them to do. I couldn't even be mad at the circumstances that lead to my death, because it was my own damn fault that I went down with the ship. So I focused my anger at Cerberus. I was justified having a scapegoat as long as they were terrorists, right?

But fate laughed at me once again, forcing me to work with the extremists. And Kaidan Alenko, the only love of my life, spurned me for my necessary alliance.

And so I stopped hoping. I stopped dreaming. One day I'll be away from here, and that was the only promise I could give myself.

Lonely, heartbroken, scarred, I pulled myself together and picked up my gun.

One day.