One spring morning, Vanessa Vacation awoke in her villa in a village
in a valley in the vicinity of Vancouver. She slipped into a shirt,
shorts and sandals and strolled out to check the mail. She found
bills, a bottle of bubble bath, and this letter:
Dear Vanessa,
There's something I have to tell you. I've been saving a shocking
secret for a very long time, but now, the time is right to reveal it to
you. A group of people I know is facing a horrible hazard.
I know what you did on your venturesome voyage to Venezuela. You're
the perfect person to help out. Please visit me for lunch tomorrow,
and I'll explain everything.
Very truly,
Your mom,
Velma
Vanessa was intrigued. What interesting information would her
mom impart? Could she really help these people, whoever they were,
with their horrible hazard?
Sullenly, she started getting ready for work. The next day couldn't come quickly enough!
*******
At noon the next day, Vanessa nosed her Nissan into a niche near her mom's house.
"Very nice to see you, Vanessa," called Velma from the veranda. Come on in. Lunch is lasagna, lettuce, and lemon meringue pie."
"So," said Vanessa, when they were seated at the table, "what's the big shocking secret?"
"Well," began Velma, "when I lived in London as a little lass, I wondered why my parents always washed things by waving their wands, and why I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. Then when I was eleven, an astounding announcement arrived for me.
"It was an acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My parents told me that they had gone there too, and that I had magical powers like them. I couldn't believe it! What an ostentatiously out-of-the-ordinary opportunity! I accepted ASAP, and studied at the secret school until I was seventeen."
"That's all true?" said Vanessa. "But enchantments don't even exist! You're imagining impossible things!"
"If I showed you my strange supernatural strength, would you believe me?"
"Maybe."
Velma walked to the window and wielded her wand, which had been on the windowsill. She pointed it at a potted plant and pronounced precisely: "Wingardium Leviosa!"
The rutabaga plant rose right off the rug, roved around the room, and rested on the rocking chair. When Velma finished, she flashed Vanessa a goofy grin.
"Amazing!" said Vanessa. "You really did relocate that rutabaga! How could that happen?"
"Like I said, magic. That's one of the first charms you learn at Hogwarts."
"Wh . . . this is wonderful!" exclaimed Vanessa. "If everyone employed expertise like that, the effect would be excellent! Everyone would be extrememly ecstatic and elated, because that would put an end to the expenditure of effort and energy for moving things!"
"No, no!" Velma nixed the notion. "Witches and wizards make every effort to evade that eventuality. If our proliferation of powers were made public, there'd be too much pressure on us to prevail or prevent people's problems. So, we've stayed a secret society for centuries, and I'm trusting you to keep it that way."
"Oh, okay." Vanessa thought that sounded somewhat selfish. "So, what is the horrible hazard, and how can I help with it?"
"I'm getting to that. Now, if I can do magic like my parents, what do you think that means for you?"
Vanessa's eyes widened. "Me? Magical? I never knew!"
"That's right," smiled Velma. "I would have sent you to study it in Britain when you were eleven, but you really wanted to be a TV editor.
"Now, here's where we're wanted. The wizarding world is woefully withstanding the wrath of the vile villain Voldemort. Some are so scared, they simply speak of him as 'You-Know-Who.' He has been held back by a Hogwarts hotshot named Harry Potter for a while now, but Harry would be happy to have help. So the head of my old Hogwarts house, Hufflepuff, hailed me for help. I told her the two of us would travel there by Tuesday - that's two days from tomorrow."
"But I'm utterly unused to magic!"
"No problem. We'll start by shopping for some stuff for you, instead of going straight to the school. Shall we set out?"
"Sure. Will I miss work?"
"Probably. It depends on how long they need us there."
"Um . . . okay. Off to the airport!"
"No, that's not necessary. Floo powder is far faster."
"Floo powder?"
"Yes. It's a weird wizard-thing that whisks you away to wherever you want. What you do is fling some of it into the fireplace - hang on -"
She pointed her wand at the fireplace and said, "Incendio!" A bright fire suddenly sprang up.
"When you add the powder," she continued, "the fire will turn green and you can step in, say where you want to go, and it'll take you there." She passed Vanessa a paper packet of powder. "Relax, it's really reliable. Just remember to speak clearly, and keep your eyes closed and your elbows tucked in. If you go first, I'll be right behind you."
Vanessa looked doubtful. "Where are we going?"
"Diagon Alley."
Hey, that's a pun! thought Vanessa as she put in the powder and entered the green glow. It was kind of creepy how her clothes failed to catch fire.
"Diagon Alley!"
*******
"How was that, dear?"
The voice came from behind Vanessa. She sat up and turned around, to see her mom standing over her.
"What a wild way to travel," said Vanessa, slowly standing up. She was sooty and shaken, and she had several small scratches.
Velma laughed. "Too true. Let's get going. I have enough wizard money to get you a wand, and some robes if you'd like."
"Yes, please."
Velma showed Vanessa to a small, shabby shop with a sign saying its name: Ollivanders. The shop was silent and stuffed with stacks of small boxes.
"Velma Vacation? Is that you?" asked a voice.
"Yes, it is, Mr. Ollivander," said Velma. "And this is my daughter, Vanessa."
"Nice to meet you. What do you need?"
"A wand for Vanessa. We're going to help out at Hogwarts."
"Certainly." He turned to Vanessa. "Are you left- or right-handed?"
"Left."
"Okay . . ." He handed her a wooden wand. "Here, Vanessa, wave this around a little."
She did, but he snatched it back after a second. "No, that's not the one for you. Try this . . ."
That wasn't it, either. Vanessa kept trying until the tenth or twelfth wand she waved shot sunshine-colored sparks all over the shop.
"Wonderful!" said Mr. Ollivander. "That's the wand for you."
Velma paid for the wand, and Vanessa hopped happily out of the shop, holding it. It was eight and a half inches long, made of ebony and unicorn hair.
"Robes next, right?" she asked her mom.
"Right," said Velma.
Vanessa started to skip down the street, but stopped suddenly. There, lying on the ground, was a slightly worn silver pendant shaped like a crescent moon. It had a skinny silver chain.
"What a nice necklace!" said Vanessa. "Did someone lose it?" She looked around, but of the few other people on the street, none seemed to be searching for it. So, Vanessa slipped it over her head and continued on.
*******
"Time to get up, Vanessa!"
Vanessa opened her eyes, wondered where she was, then remembered: She was in a room at the Leaky Cauldron, and today, she and her mother would travel by train to Hogwarts to help Harry Potter vanquish the vile villain Voldemort - hopefully.
She and Velma both dressed in basic black wizard robes, deciding not to don their high pointed hats until they were on the train. They left the Leaky Cauldron and used the Underground to get to King's Cross station.
"The train leaves from platform nine-and-three-quarters at exactly eleven o'clock," explained Velma.
"Nine-and-three-quarters?" Vanessa was clearly confused.
Velma smiled. "It's the secret section of the station. You can't even walk onto it without being a witch or wizard. Ah, here we are."
They were several yards from the barrier between platforms 9 and 10.
"Now," said Velma, "wizardkind can walk right through that thing onto the platform. Since it's your first time, it's best to take it fast. Ready?"
Vanessa put on a determined face. "Ready."
They took off running. So did Vanessa's thoughts: Oh, crud, we're gonna crash! This is crazy!
Just then, they were through. Vanessa stopped to stare at the shiny scarlet train. It was stunning!
"There it is," said Velma grandly. "The Hogwarts Express. The only official way to get to Hogwarts, and the town near it, Hogsmeade. Go ahead, get on."
"Hooray!" Vanessa happily hurried onto the train. Velma followed her.
*******
Early that evening, as the sun was setting, Velma and Vanessa got off the train. A weird little witch was waiting for them.
"Welcome back, Velma!" she said. "And this must be Vanessa?"
"Yes," said Vanessa.
"Welcome to Hogwarts," said the witch, shaking Vanessa's hand. "I'm Professor Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff House."
"Pleased to meet you," said Vanessa.
"Dinner's about to start," Professor Sprout told the two of them. "Come on into the castle." She led them to the school's front doors.
When they were within the Great Hall, Vanessa dug into a delicious dinner. Afterwards, the three of them went to Professor McGonagall's office.
"Minerva," said Professor Sprout, "these are our volunteer... Voldemort vanquishers, Velma and Vanessa."
"Welcome, Vanessa," said Minerva. "I'm the Deputy Headmistress, Professor McGonagall. Do you know any magic?"
"No," said Vanessa.
"No? But your mom - "
"She could have come here," said Velma, "but she just wanted so badly to work on that TV show . . ."
"I see," said Professor McGonagall. "Velma, do you still have your Vicious Vent-thing?"
"Of course." Velma pulled something from her pocket. It was a little vent, like those in a car, but it was in a clear case.
"Cool, what's it for?" asked Vanessa.
"If you stick it on someone's sleeve," explained Velma, "it dispels their power and distributes it to more deserving people. I know, because my dad told me when he passed it down to me."
"Oooooooh!"
"It's probably our best bet against You-Know-Who," said the professor solemnly.
"Who?" said Vanessa.
"Voldemort," said Velma. "Remember?"
"Oh. Right."
"We can expect evil experiences soon," Professor McGonagall went on, "but we don't know when. Perhaps you would like to prepare by taking some classes, Vanessa?"
"Sure!" said Vanessa.
"Then you should be Sorted." She picked up an old, patched, pointed hat. "This is the Sorting Hat. When you put it on, it will look into your mind and decide which House you belong in."
"Okay . . ." The hat was placed on Vanessa's head. Her huge hairdo held it up above her eyes.
"Well, what have we here?" Vanessa heard a small voice say. "I see you're here to help out . . . you need Sorting, I suppose?"
"Yes," said Vanessa softly.
"All right . . . ah! I see you're a vivacious, verbose, valiant, loyal little worker . . . hands down, you're a HUFFLEPUFF!"
As Vanessa took the hat off, Velma grinned and said, "Like mother, like daughter."
"Very well," said Professor Sprout, who hadn't left. "Velma, can you still find your way to our common room?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Good. See you tomorrow."
*******
Vanessa soon learned to like life at Hogwarts. She considered Charms to be the coolest class. She also attended every Quidditch match.
On top of that, Velma and Vanessa were members of the Hogwarts Defense League. The League was a group of people with a passion for their purpose: protecting the school from Voldemort. They met three times a week to prepare for the coming battle. They studied dueling with diligence and curses with courage. Vanessa learned voraciously, but dreaded the day of the confrontation.
It came all too soon. One morning at breakfast, Harry Potter felt a fiery feeling on his forehead. He climbed onto his chair, waved his wand, said "Sonorus!", and the entire hall heard him say:
"It's time! It's time! Er . . . it's time for the Hogwarts Defense League to see some action. Everyone outside!"
There was a colossal commotion as the League scrambled outside. In seconds, all of them - some sixty students and staff - stood ready to rumble.
Their plan was prepared. Velma and Vanessa would apply the Vicious Vent-thing to Voldemort when the others had him held down. Would it work?
Soon, they started to see dozens of Death Eaters (followers of Voldemort) Apparating a long way off, then marching towards them.
"Wands up, everyone!" directed Dumbledore, the League's leader.
Everyone did so.
"Get ready . . . GO!"
It was the bizarrest battle Vanessa had ever seen. Everyone was doing something different. People were getting Disarmed, Leg-Locked, and more all over the place. The League was fighting fiercely, and was apparently ahead.
Come on, guys - thought Vanessa. Like we planned -
They did. A particularly involved tussle (which the League had intentionally started) distracted Voldemort momentarily, and at that moment, seventeen of the good guys shouted: "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"
It worked. Several of these seventeen people began conjuring ropes to tie him up, just in case. Velma got out her Vicious Vent-thing, removing it from its clear case. She and Vanessa each held it by one edge and approached the vile villain.
"I am Velma Vacation," said Velma, "and virtue will be victorious!"
She and Vanessa said the final four words together, as they swiftly slapped the Vicious Vent-thing on Voldemort's sleeve.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Bright green light was billowing from the vent. Just as Velma had said it would, it entered those more deserving. Large lumps went to Harry and Dumbledore. Velma and Vanessa got smaller, but still generous globs. Everyone who had fought for Hogwarts got a share, and still more clumps headed for the castle.
When it stopped, Velma discreetly deactivated the Body-Bind, and Voldemort lay there, limp. "You . . . you . . ."
Vanessa nodded. "Yes . . . we did."
Harry hurried over. "So much for you, Mr. Megalomaniacal Muggle-man."
"What?" said Voldemort.
"That's right," said Velma. "That green stuff was your powers."
Speechless, Voldemort managed to look crushed and angry at the same time.
"So a Muggle is . . ." said Vanessa.
". . . a person who doesn't have any magical powers," Velma explained. "Sorry, I should have told you that sooner."
"No problem."
"Where's that dingbat Dumbledore gone off to?" Voldemort asked.
"To tell the Ministry of Magic what happened," said Harry, "and you know what that means."
"No way! Mark me, Harry Potter, I'll get you for this someday!"
"Whatever."
"Hey, Harry!"
It was Dumbledore. He was leading a group of professors over to the scene. His pet phoenix, Fawkes, was flying around overhead.
"So what happened?" one of them asked.
"Well," said Harry, "I sensed him coming -" He indicated his scar. "- and we all came out here, and we had a huge fight -"
"I see."
"- and then," Vanessa continued, "my mom and I used - hey, where'd it go?"
The Vicious Vent-thing had vanished.
"I guess it's only good once," said Vanessa. "Anyway, we used this neat magical gizmo called the Vicious Vent-thing, and all Voldemort's powers are gone now, so -"
"Gone? How could that be?"
"That's what the vent does. And then -"
"Okay, you can tell us later. Right now, let's get this guy behind bars."
*******
Velma and Vanessa stayed at Hogwarts long enough for the victory party, but then had to go home. Their work there was done.
"Wouldn't you rather stay here?" Harry asked Vanessa, as they were leaving.
"Of course I would," she answered, "but I have a job. They've missed me."
"Aw. Well, goodbye, and thank you."
"Thank you! You're the hero, right?"
He laughed. "Yeah, that's right."
"Mmmmm. Well, so long, and thanks for all the spells. They're really useful, I'll never forget this place."
"Of course not. Hey - there are three of us now!"
"Three of who?"
"Three people who have defeated Voldemort. You two deserve lightning scars of your own."
"Okay! Mom?"
Velma smiled. "Sure."
"Okay," said Harry, "hold still . . ."
Harry's wand suddenly shone with a sharp, silver light, and with it, he traced lightning bolts like his own onto Velma and Vanessa's foreheads.
Vanessa winced briefly at the pain, but it was over quickly. She smiled and said, "Cool!"
"It's a symbol of success," Harry told her. "Hope it brings you that - of course, you seem like you're going to have it anyway!"
A/N II: Were you expecting that necklace Vanessa found to be important?
So was I; the story just didn't unfold that way. :-D Don't
worry, it will be important in Vanessa's next story, "Vanessa Vacation
and Vaporeon," which will be over in the Pokémon section.
Note on Edit 1/20/01: I was reading the Alohomora.com Challenge
Archive, and I saw the January 2000 one and thought, "Hey, I had Voldemort
lose the ability to work magic - why not edit my story to fulfill the rest
of the requirements?" This story already mentioned Quidditch ("She
also attended every Quidditch match.") and a scar other than Harry's lightning-bolt
(Vanessa and Velma's matching lightning-bolts . . . I hope that counts).
I added Fawkes and the lasagna today. No, this is not a late entry,
and I didn't bother with the first-person POV either. :-P
Disclaimer: Vanessa and Velma Vacation belong to me. Harry Potter
and all related characters and elements belong to J. K. Rowling.
No copyright infringement is intended; I write because it's fun. :-)
