Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me; they belong to Shoot the Moon Enterprises and Warner Bros to whom I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to take them out for a spin and bit of light humour.

Some people may feel I've gone slightly off-character with Amanda in the latter part of this story. I think, based on some of the off-the-cuff comments between Amanda and Dottie that the West women have a pretty earthy sense of humour and that it wouldn't surprise me if anything happened if you got Amanda riled enough.

Two Notes

October 1983

As they rode up the elevator, Lee Stetson glanced over at the woman beside him who had just muttered something under her breath. He hadn't quite made out what she had said but he had sounded like something about somebody who knows their job.

"Amanda? Are you alright? Did you have something else you needed to tell me?"

Amanda looked up at the handsome man she had met just a few days before and was taken aback again at what beautiful eyes he had. "I'm sorry – what?" Between those eyes and the catty farewell she had just received from Agent Desmond at the door to the elevator, she felt completely off balance.

"You were saying something? About…someone who knows their job?"

Amanda realized suddenly that Lee had heard her muttering her "Nose Job" comment about Francine Desmond and blushed. "Ah, no, it was nothing. Just two notes."

"Two notes?"

"Yeah – old family joke". The elevator opened onto the Georgetown lobby opened and Amanda walked briskly towards the door "Well it's been fun Mr. Stetson. Next time you want to break into a post office, make sure not to call me."

"Amanda? Aren't you forgetting something?" She paused at the door and lifted an eyebrow.

"Your car is still parked over by the D Street Post Office. I'll give you a ride back there."

"I can call a cab"

Lee grinned just for a second at the old joke that line conjured up and then said "No, come on, let me give you a ride. I think I've inconvenienced you enough over the last few days."

She finally nodded in agreement and turned to leave, letting him take her elbow to walk down the front steps. If he'd been thinking, Lee might have wondered why he was prolonging their time together.

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February 1984

Amanda and Lee were standing at the Silver Springs airport watching Magda Petrak's car pull away, taking her off to her new life and new identity.

"Bet you're going to miss having her around the house" laughed Lee.

"Oh no. I couldn't miss that woman less if she was Francine when she hasn't had her morning coffee. Did I ever finish telling you what she said to Phillip? I couldn't believe it – he's only a little boy and she just waded right in there and told him "There is no such thing as winning second place" and the look on his face! Oooooh, I just wanted to swing for her right there. I mean I wouldn't have believed someone could be such a b—". Amanda stopped suddenly, mid rant.

Lee, whose mouth had dropped open slightly at what he thought Amanda was about to say, watched as Amanda closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Two notes, Amanda, two notes" she muttered to herself and lapsed into silence.

"What?"

"Veal Paprikash" Amanda suddenly spat out the words.

"Whaaat?" asked Lee again struggling to keep up with this sudden turn of topic. "Veal Paprikash?"

"Mmmm" answered Amanda absently. "Two notes."

"Two notes? Veal Paprikash? Amanda,, I can usually keep up with you when you're rambling, but at least I occasionally get a verb somewhere in there."

She turned to him and chuckled at the puzzled expression to his face. "Well, my mother would understand!" She laughed harder at his startled reaction to that.

"Oh, it's just an old family joke. Do you remember that show when we were kids 'Name That Tune'?" Lee nodded, still confused. "Well, when I would go off onto one of my rambles, my dad would let me go on for a bit and then he would hold up two fingers and say "Two notes, Panda! Can you name that tune in two notes?" and then I'd stop talking and try and sum up everything I was saying or feeling in two words. After a while, it just became funny and I'd try and come up with two words that would make him laugh. But it always worked and I still do it when I'm trying to calm myself down after dealing with people like Magda. Or Francine" she added absently.

Lee grinned. "What do you say to calm yourself down when Francine bugs you?"

Amanda blushed and stared at the ground. "Nose job" she muttered.

"Nose job?" Lee broke up. "Why nose job?"

"Oh she just reminds me of some girls I went to high school with, you know the Francine type. And one by one, every one of them would disappear for some big chunk of school vacation and they'd always come back looking just slightly different but better, you know, and everyone KNEW they'd been away and had a nose job but of course, they'd never admit it and that first time I met Francine at the Agency and she was so mean about me being a den mother sitting there looking down her nose at me and it just popped into my mind and well, it stuck. Not that I know she ever had a nose job of course, she's probably just one of those pretty girls that never needed one." Amanda sighed as her ramble let up and she finally ran out of breath.

Lee chuckled "Oh she's had a nose job"

"Really? How do you know that?"

"She had to have one after I broke her nose."

"You BROKE her nose?"

Lee had the grace to look embarrassed, even as she watched the dimples appear in his cheek as he focused on that memory. "Well, not on purpose. I'd been locked in a room by some East German operatives – long story – and I was waiting for one of them to come open the door so I could escape and well, how I was supposed to know Francine had led a team into the building and she'd be the first one through the door?

Lee grinned hearing the throaty laugh that had come from Amanda as he finished the story. "God that's a sexy laugh" he thought "Wait a minute. What am I thinking? That's Amanda I'm thinking about." He dragged his attention back to what she was saying.

"I shouldn't laugh, but I think I'm going to save up that mental image for the next time she ticks me off. Just remind me not to sneak up on you – I prefer to keep my own nose."

"As you should, Amanda. You have a very cute nose."

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June 1987

Lee let himself into the apartment he shared – although not nearly often enough – with his wife. He paused for a moment wondering what had set his senses on edge and then realized it was the absence of anything. Amanda had left their office sometime before saying she was on her way back there to start dinner yet there was no smell of anything cooking and no sounds of anyone else in the apartment, but he could see her purse on the coffee table. As he unholstered his gun, he crept forwards through the empty living room. Glancing into the dining room, he still saw nothing but as he moved towards the kitchen, he saw something that caused his heart to drop into his stomach. A huge pool of water covered the floor and sticking out from behind the island were the jean-clad legs of his prone wife.

"Oh my God! Amanda!" he yelled leaping forward. As he came around the island, dropping his gun, he saw everything happen in slow motion. The toolbox on the floor, Amanda's upper body inside the cupboard under the sink, her entire upper body lifting up in surprise at his yell, the crack as her head hit the top edge and then her falling back unmoving into the cupboard.

"Amanda! Amanda! Oh my God, are you all right?" Lee slipped and slid across the wet floor and fell to his knees beside her.

"Oh Mother…!" came a pained shriek from under the sink.

"No, it's me, it's Lee. Oh God, I'm so sorry – all I could see was your legs sticking out and I just panicked. I didn't mean to startle you and I really didn't mean for you to hurt yourself. Ow!" As he'd talked, Lee had been slowly pulling Amanda out from where she was laying and he had just caught sight of the huge goose-egg that was rapidly swelling up on her forehead.

"Lee! Ow, ow, ow, ow! What were you thinking yelling like that? You frightened me half to death" Amanda lifted a hand and gingerly touched her forehead.

Lee scrambled to his feet and leaned down to help her get up. "Not as much you frightened me, thinking you'd had some kind of accident. Now come here and sit on the sofa and I'll get some ice for that."

He walked back to the kitchen and collected an ice pack from the freezer, laughing ruefully to himself at how often they had needed it for one or both of them after a day at the "office".

"Here you go. Now what exactly happened back there anyway?"

Amanda leaned back against the sofa cushions, closing her eyes while he held the ice pack to her head. "Well, I got home and I went to fill a pan with water to start dinner and all of a sudden, there was water coming everywhere and I managed to get the stopcock shut and then I thought that maybe if I just undo the connection and check the seal then maybe it would just be a simple fix and we wouldn't need a plumber. And then you came in and tried to kill me." She grinned up at him and reached out to brush a hand across the dimple on his cheek.

"Well, you have to admit I have every reason to worry when I find you out flat-out on the floor – it's happened before after all" Lee leaned forward to drop a kiss on her nose.

"Hey, at least time there wasn't a snake," she laughed.

"Ugh – don't remind me." Lee paused suddenly and stared at her. "Amanda, do you know what day it is?"

Amanda looked confused at the sudden change in topic. "Uh, Tuesday? What do you mean? Have I forgotten something important?"

"Do you know where you are?" Lee leaned forward and stared into her eyes, but Amanda had a feeling he was looking at something else.

"I'm in your – our – apartment, on the sofa trying to make you dinner and wishing my head didn't feel like it was cracked open. Lee, what is with all these questions? And why are you staring at my eyes?"

He pulled back and re-focused on her face. "I'm trying to figure out if you have a concussion"

"Oh Lee, don't be ridiculous. I'm hardly going to get a concussion from a simple bump to the head. I didn't hit it hard enough to forget where I am or what day it is. Why would you think that?"

Lee lifted the ice pack and studied the bruise on Amanda's forehead. "Hmm, doesn't look like you'll need stitches anyway. Well, anyway, right after you banged your head, you called me Mother, and much as I love Dottie, I really don't think we're that easy to mix up. After all- " He paused and waggled his eyebrows down at Amanda. "I'm so much taller".

Amanda gurgled with laughter and lay back down with her eyes closed, the blush rising in her face. "Oh Lee, I wasn't calling you Mother – it just hurt so much when I hit my head that I said Daddy's one note. You just didn't hear it properly".

"Daddy's one note? I thought it was two notes."

"Mmmm, well I had two notes, Daddy had one notes" She peeked up at him through half-closed lids. "At least, that's what Mother and I used to call them. Daddy was always a gentlemen –always – but every so often, when he really hurt himself or he got really ticked, well, it would just slip out and he was always very sorry afterwards but well, y'know, he was a Marine during the war."

Lee had tried to follow the ramble, but even he was confused by the apparent non-sequitur about her father's war record at the end. "Your dad was a Marine? What? What does that have to do with you thinking I was your mother?"

Amanda's blush got deeper but she began to laugh. "Lee! I didn't say Mother – I said Mother…" she paused and made a flip-flop motion with her hand suggesting that there was more to the sentence.

Lee looked at her blankly. "You didn't say Mother, you said Mother…" he trailed off and then suddenly as realization dawned, a stunned expression came across his face. "A-MAN-DA!"

Amanda began to laugh helplessly "Owwwwww, don't make me laugh Lee. It really hurts – and it really hurt when I cracked my head on that stupid pipe! Don't tell me you've never sworn – I won't believe you!"

"Well I certainly wouldn't use that kind of language in front of you! He still looked shocked and Amanda wondered how appalled he actually was with her verbal slip. You could never tell with Lee –for all the times he'd had knock down yelling fights with her over cases, he had always remained a gentleman. She held her breath for a moment and then released it as the dimples she loved reappeared and Lee completely dissolved into laughter. He laughed so hard that he actually began to gasp for breath but every time he looked back down at her face, it would set him off again.

"Lee? Are you getting hysterical? Because with the water shut off, I can't get any to throw a glass of water in your face and calm you down". She grinned up at him as he struggled to catch his breath. It was so contagious that she began laughing too – that sexy throaty laugh Lee loved.

He leaned forward to pull her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her hair. "No, No, it's just that every time I look at you, I start thinking…." And he went off into another paroxysm of laughter.

"What?! What?!"

"That apparently you also can't underestimate the vocabulary of the American housewife!"