Happy Easter from the Cullen's!

What would the Cullen's do on a sunny day near Easter with a lot if Easter eggs and Vampire-proof iron?

Edward, Rosalie and Jasper were out hunting and Bella Swan was making her way to the Cullen house.

Bella: Alice? Emmett?

Alice and Emmett appear with Esme's cooking equipment in a ninja-like fashion.

Emmett: AAAARAAHH!

Bella: What the hell!?

Alice: Oh, it's you Bella!

They were wearing matching yellow shirts with 'Project Fortress' printed on them.

Emmett: We made one for you Bella!

The big guy shoves Bella a short that is like theirs except hers had 'Captive of Alice and Emmett'

Alice: So basically Jasper, Rose and Edward have really annoyed us because they kept me from going to the next Gucci sale and stopped Emmett from eating an Easter egg then throwing it up and we are going to get at them by holding you prisoner, giving off really depressing waves of emotion, then stealing Rosalie's convertible. So we built a fortress that is Vampire-proof iron. Now come behind the lovely floral curtain and we will magically disappear to the fortress!

Alice cackles madly and drags Bella behind the curtain and they wait for while.

Alice: Emmett?

Emmett: yeah?

Alice: This is the part where you carry us to the fort.

Emmett: Oh right!

Emmett proceeds to sling both of them on his back and carries them to a metal-covered door and walls.

The door bangs and the trio arrive home.

-At the door-

Edward: -calling up the stairs- I know you have Bella captive; let her go!

Jasper: I want to wallow in my self-pity...

Rosalie: Why are you trying to cut yourself with kitchen knives?

Jasper: Alice...The family...the confederates...save me form this pain...

Edward & Rosalie: Ok...

-Up at the fort-

Emmett: This is pure genius!

Alice: I feel sorry for Jasper though...

Bella: Get 'cha head in the game Alice!!!!

Emmett & Alice:...?

-Crickets chirp in the back ground-

Bella: What!?

-Down from the fort-

Jasper: I wonder what they are doing up there...

Rosalie: Possibly plotting world domination?

Edward: Alice did try to kidnap President Barak Obama a few weeks ago...

-Flashback-

Alice swivel's round dramatically in a chair.

Alice: At last; we meet again!

Obama: Who are you?

Alice: I am here to kidnap you, then blindfold you; is that OK?

Obama: Not at all. –Smiles-

Alice: PERVERT!!! AAAARRAAAAHH!!! –Runs out of the white house-

-End of flashback-

Rosalie: happy times...

-The fort-

Emmett: What should we do now?

Alice: We need to steal Rosalie's convertible!

Bella: How?

Alice: You will go down stairs crying, saying how you escaped our evil clutches and they will be so distracted that they won't notice until it is too late!

Emmett: That is a MASTERPLAN!!!

Bella: Shall I go now?

Alice: Yes! –Pushes out-

Bella (Crying): Help me!

Edward: I will save you my love!

Bella: It...Was...Horrible...

Rosalie: You're safe now. (Doesn't really know how to comfort the human)

Emmett and Alice suddenly appear out of thin air, driving the convertible.

Emmett: Take that! –Throws chocolate eggs at the bewildered trio-

Alice: and that! –Throws Edwards CD's at them-

Rosalie: My baby!

Edward: My CD's!

Jasper: WTF?

Bella runs and gets in the car, then they drive off into the sunset with back round music playing...

Alice, Emmett & Bella: HAPPY EASTER!!!