So…I'm sick

This means an acid attitude for me. So, I was looking at the archive and decided to make a parody fic. I know I said "No more new stories in here for me", but this just SCREAMS at me to write it.

The theme of it will be…mary-sue/gary-stu OCs.

Really, if there is something I HATE is that kind of OCs. So, I want to make fun of them for today ;)

If you like them, please do not read this. You'll only get mad. If you do hate them, I hope you enjoy this parody ;)

Note: This includes my OC's attitudes. I accept they acted a bit like that on my story "ADL:TMotR"…I'm not proud of that, believe me.

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Warnings: Bad words, Stupidity, Mary-sue/Gary-stu characters. I did the "Perrrfect" thing in the title because I wanted the word to stand out, by the way.

Dedication: To my brother "what a pain", the most offensive reviewer I've seen (literally…since he obviously lives with me) in my whole life. This is for you little brother. Cherish the awesome bashing I make to this demonic things some authors create. And remember, do not flame stories, young brother xD

Summary: Hi, my name is Jade, and I'm an American girl who lives now in Japan. I'm pretty, awesome, the center of attention for everybody…oh, and have superpowers!

Disclaimer: I do not own the D! PPGZ, only the OC characters this story has.


I'm Just Perrrfect!

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(Jade's POV)

Today is a great day! My classes start today in this new and great city!

By the way, I just moved here from America. Obviously with my family, but who cares anyways? Everything about this story is about me anyways, so it doesn't matter if I talk about my existent family.

Returning to the matter in topic, my classes in high school are about to start, and I'm happy for it! I hope people like me. I've suffered oh-so-much in the past, even though I'm not emotional or have a traumatic experience about it, and I pray to the gods to help me with my nerves.

I'm wearing a dress by the way. It is cute, short and reveals some of my over-formed body…but it's not slutty! I'm wearing nice flats to combine with it and I have make up on my perfect face.

Walking without a single problem to school (take that time-change schedule, you can't affect me either!), I suddenly remember something very important.

I forgot I have superpowers! Obviously, I'll use them for good, not bad. I've always dreamed in being a hero, and since I received this powers by the mysterious white light that hit me just the day I arrived, then my dream can be completed!

Arriving into the school, the teacher introduces me. Even though I just arrived into the city, I know Japanese perfectly so everything is more than understandable for me.

"Class, please pay attention. This is Jade, your new classmate, please take care of her", the teacher says, her warm smile on everybody.

"Hello, I'm Jade" I start, my glossed lips moving, "I come from America and love Japan with all my heart! I love anime and I'm preppy and tomboyish"

"Err…that's not possible" A girl says, staring rudely at me, "Those things are complete opposites, you can't be both"

"Of COURSE it's possible!" I exclaim, holding my nice hips with my manicured hands, "I'm here, aren't I?"

The girl looks at me strangely, but maintains her mouth shut. With my sweet-oh-perfect smile, I start my introduction once again, "So, as I was saying, I can do all kinds of things and my smartness is WAY bigger than average"

Then a large ruckus starts on the room, all talking about me. I hope they are good things.

"…She said smartness…"

"Yes, she did"

"Talking about inconsistencies"

"Hey, is that my pizza slice!"

"Err no…Dude, I told you my dog ate it"

"YOU STOLE MY PIZZA!"

"AND YOU STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU FAT ASS!"

"Silence!" the teacher shouts, making all the class stop shouting. The teacher sighs and turns to me once again. "So, where will you sit down…"

I turn to look at everywhere in the class, finding all the boys eyes on me. They must have fallen in love with me. All the girls must be jealous then! Oh, it won't happen again!

"Please boys, do not stare at me like being in love!"

One of the boys stares at me strangely, "Err…we're not in love with you, don't worry"

That gets my attention, "Excuse me?"

"I don't like you…" that boy explains further, looking at me like stupid.

"But you NEED to like me! I'm too perfect for not getting all the boys attention!"

"I don't like you either" another boy exclaims.

"I have a girlfriend" other boy says.

"And I'm gay" the hottest boy of the class exclaims.

"She's just another Himeko…" another voice said, this time being a female one. That has me gasping. Me being like another one? Puh-lease, I'm too original for that!

"Excuse me, but I'm original!" I exclaim, pouting innocently at all the class. I see a girl with a cap and green eyes cocking one of her eyebrows upwards.

"You love attention and think yourself as perfect in a lot of topics…you're a Himeko-wanna-be"

A girl with brunette hair stands up, grasping her hips in a highly manner, "She's not even close! I'm WAY cooler than this girl!"

"Class, please!" the black haired teacher pleads, turning to me hastily, "Please sit down besides Kaoru Matsubara"

The girl from before rolls her eyes, stretching her hand for me to know where she is. So she is Kaoru? Great!

I go towards my new assigned seat, sitting down while turning towards my new neighbor, "Hi, I'm Jade!"

"…Hello…I'm Kaoru"

"I think we're going to be the best friends!" I exclaim happily making her face transform to incredulous.

"Wow, you're pathetic!" Himeko says, smirking from her seat, "You think you can come here and talk like that? You're not the princess in here, sweetie…I am"

"Oh please, shut up" I start, intending to give her a piece of my mind, but the teacher interrupts me.

"Please Jade, stay silent"

"Wait, this is my sassy part!" I exclaim, standing up and putting a sassy pose, "You think you can say that and get out with it? Please, you're the pathetic one, claiming to be the princess of this classroom when nobody likes you-"

"You don't know us" a nerdy boy interrupts me, making me glare at him.

"DON'T INTERRUPT MY SASSY PART!"

"…Sorry?"

"Anyways, go bad talk somebody else and while you're at it, buy yourself some real cool clothes, those are SO out of season"/1/

Silence reigns on the classroom, until Himeko opens her phone.

"Hello, Yes, I need help in here…there's this low-class girl just talking and insulting me"

Suddenly the door opens, revealing hundreds of similar old ladies. Himeko shoves her nose into the air with her eyes closed, her glossed lips forming a smirk.

"Please take her away, I can't stand breathing the same air this wanna-be"

I feel all the grandma's hands grabbing and pulling me towards the door. I try to kick or punch them, but my attempts are futile.

"Oh bears in butter! /2/ I'll have to transform"

(Insert full dance and song all other authors insert in here)

"Glittery Jade!" I announce with my cute light blue uniform and my nunchuks in hand. A gasp fills the classroom.

"She's…a powrpuff girl z?" a girl exclaims, her black eyes widened.

An orange-haired girl and cotton-candy pink eyes stands up, letting me see a belt just like mine in her hips, "Impossible, she can't be a powerpuff!"

A proud smile reaches my lips once again. At last, a bit of respect for my awesome-ness!

"…No, she looks more of a Power Ranger to me…" the same nerdy boy that interrupted my sassy-moment exclaims, his thin hand grasping his chin.

"…A Power Ranger?" I ask surprised. Another girl smiles suddenly.

"Nah, she looks more like a Sailor Moon"

All kinds of theories reach my ears, the next one being crazier than the last one and leaving me even more breathless.

"Hinamori Amu!"

"No, she is from "Mermaid Melody!"

"Are you nuts, Sakura? Look at her; she looks exactly like SpongeBob SquarePants!"

The last one makes me wanna rip their chests open.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! I'LL FLIPPIDING /2/ KILL YOU! I'M A POWERPUFF GIRL Z!"

A blonde pig-tailed girl stands up, looking at me with innocent and yet worried eyes, "Umm, if you're a PowerPuff…why are you blue, de su?"

"Well, I came to replace Bubbles obviously" I say, smiling nicely at her, hoping having at least someone normal by my side.

The green eyed girl with a yellow shirt cocks her eyebrow once again, "And what…Bubbles will just disappear suddenly like she never existed, leaving you her place?"

"Exactly!"

The blonde girl from before comes to me and slaps my face with force, making me hit the ground in pain.

"AWW!"

"You're so mean to Bubbles! She'll never forgive you!" the blue eyed girl exclaims, pouting and making some of the boys looks at her like in love.

"Like FUCKING HELL you're taking Bubbles place!" Kaoru explains. Oh no, she said a bad word! I slap the back of her neck hard as a punishment, making her growl.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU JUST DID?"

"No bad words Kaoru-chan!"

"Do not act all familiar to me, I even hardly know you!"

I wink at her, "But we will know each other, and we are going to be best friends and then you and the pink-eyed girl will look up at me!"

"Why would we look up at you?" the orange-haired girl says in a sarcastic tone.

"Because you both are PowerPuff Girls too!" I exclaim happily, gaining some shocked looks from everybody, "You have the same belt I have, so we will be partners!"

All of the classmates turn their shocked eyes towards them, making them nervous.

"Err…that's stupid, we all know the PPGZ transform using their umm…their socks!" the pink eyed exclaims nervously, gaining the approval from the rest of the class.

"Yeah Momoko is right, she's just mental" Kaoru mumbles calmly. The teacher nods a bit, her face contorted in worry.

"Maybe you need to see a doctor, please go to the infirmary"

I gasp at her words in surprise, "Excuse me! I'm perfectly fine! You're the weirdoes in here! You're supposed to love me, look up to me for standing up to Himeko like that and all the boys shall adore me! I shall end with Boomer since I take Bubbles place! The PPGZ need to look up to me and respect me as her best teammate with a great intellect and-"

"You can't be a PPGZ because your weapon is not from their era…yours is more like the ones Power Rangers use" the same nerdy explains, interrupting my speech and spilling the last drop of patience I had inside of me.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Servants, take her to the infirmary!" Himeko shrieks at her maids, making all the women take me out of the room. I shriek, trying to free my limbs from their grasp.

"THIS IS ALL WRONG, I SHOULD BE ADORED!"

/-/-/-/

In another part of the town, a white dressed boy appears. His name is Bob, but since he is a superhero now, he is nicknamed "Super Bob".

"I'm here now…it's time for me to help the PPGZ out with my unbelievable strength and powers and my invincible strategy and hot body. I'll win without a single drop of my hot sweat spilled and gain Blossom's heart!"

Suddenly, an ambulance appears running in full speed. He can easily hear with his super hearing the voice of a shrieking woman inside of it.

"LET ME GO! I SHALL BE PART OF THE PPGZ AND BE PERFECT, YOU HEAR ME! PERRRFECT!"

The ambulance disappears, leaving "Super Bob" all alone in the entrance of the city. A bunch of minutes pass in complete silence, until he turns around and starts his walk back to his home.

"Now that I think about it…Naruto just started. It is of incredible importance for me to see this new chapter...so…I'll just return home then"


/1/This is the line I've seen most on the PPGZ fanfics, not only the ones OC come out. I just needed to add it in the parody, sorry xD

/2/That is the OC's form of cursing.

So, that's it. I combined what I've seen from the mary-sues in this archive and what I've seen in other archive. If I'm wrong in some aspect, then I'm sorry xD

I hope you enjoyed it and that's it…

By the way brother…if you want a review reply, please turn to your left. Thank you xD

Now, is time for you to push that button. You know you want to. It Is always fun pressing buttons, so go ahead ;D.