Title: Is it or Isn't It?

Show: LOCI

Pairing: BA

Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

Rating: T for language. It may go up for like a T Plus for some sexual innuendo. I haven't decided yet on the ending.

Spoilers: "Blind Spot," "Siren Call," and "The War at Home."

Authors Note: This is definitely AU. I had originally planned this to be a character death, but, as always, I decided against it. As always, however, it will be full of angst.

The chapters are going to be rather short throughout the story since it'll switch back and forth from their POVs until the inevitable. I planned it that way for a reason so be patient with me.

Summary: My Take On What Happened After The Screen Went Black in "The War at Home."

CHAPTER: 1

It's over.

There was nothing left in Robert Goren's eyes as he tossed his binder over Alex's desk and onto his own and then walked out of One Police Plaza.

He was done.

Fuck this place, fuck this life, fuck everything! I didn't choose this life, it chose me…

It's over. Everything.

It's no longer worth it…

So he left. He left before he could lash out any further. Oddly enough, he didn't feel like it anyway. He didn't feel like going through another one of those episodes; at least not in front of everyone. He just wanted to get away before he did lose control; before he lost it all together.

This time Bobby was in the elevator and watching the doors close before Alex had a chance to catch up with him, before she had a chance to question his motives yet again. Not that she would, though. Not this time. She'd let him break that final string; the final string that had been struggling to hold them together for a while now. She'd let everything, even the world fall on top of him because at that moment when she glanced at the space that Robert Goren occupied not seconds ago, she became enraged; more so than just a day ago.

"Captain…" She spoke slowly.

Worn out.

Sick of everything.

Shit.

Fuck.

Ross was standing next to her the entire time. He could feel the exhaustion radiating off her body and he knew that it wasn't just exhaustion; it was frustration and anger as well.

Alex was fucking sick of it. She was sick of Bobby's temper, all of his baggage, his sorrowful life, his mother, all of it. Fuck him for hauling her, as well as everyone else through his goddamn roller-coaster of a life, of a game.

Alex knew she shouldn't be the one left to clean up the pieces of his diminishing life that he seemed to purposely drop along the way for her to clean up.

Who was the one that re-organized his desk after he went all ape shit and pushed all of his crap off of it? Yeah, that's right. Me. Only me. I didn't see anyone else volunteering, not that they would.

But everyone seemed to just expect it of her. Everyone knew she would therefore there were hardly any glances her way when she walked back over to his desk, once the elevator doors closed, and started to clean up after him the first time he stormed out.

What was going to happen now, though, after he stormed out for the second time?

Fire him? Jesus Christ. Fuck you, Bobby. Fuck you! I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.

"Eames, why don't you head home." Captain Ross suddenly spoke. It wasn't a question, Alex could tell by the exasperating tone in his voice and by the look in his eyes when she chanced a half-glance towards him. That's when Alex thanked the gods above that he didn't mention Bobby. She thought, if he did, she might scream.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…You!

It was unspoken, everything about Goren the past few days was. Ross knew to tread lightly, especially now. Alex wouldn't know what to say even if Ross did mention Bobby. She truly didn't know if she had it in her to defend him yet again. She truly didn't believe she could say those words, the 'he'll be ok, just let him blow off some steam' statement one more time. She thinks that candle; the final candle has finally burned out. That time passed long ago.

So, she did the only thing she could do. She went home.

Walk away from it all… Just for a little while…

Alex quickly nodded to Ross, packed up her things and this time tried as hard as she could to ignore those stares she was receiving after her partner stormed out yet again. She all of a sudden felt embarrassed, which pissed her off even more.

I hate you, Robert Goren. I hate you so much for putting me through this.

She then turned and left.


A/N: So, there's my little intro to the story. Find it fitting? Let me know and I'll continue. This was short, but a good place to stop. I began this story last year, but I'm just now getting to posting it. It shouldn't be that long of a story but please be patient with me on updating; school is killing me along with other things in life.

-Snyder-