A/N: Hello everyone! I haven't been writing for hell how long, so I'm glad I can publish something! I wonder if this story is bad and horrible and stuff... I don't really like how it came out, but still - it's here, so please tell me what do you think about it! R&R, пожалуйста!


It's the sound of crashing dishes that awakes Eduard. He snaps from his sleep abruptly, the noise so sudden and loud and darkly promising he nearly gives out a small cry. A few seconds after its quiet, quiet for long enough for him to feel blessed relief, thinking that it was just a bad dream and there's nothing to worry about.

But his hopes are killed by another crashing noise and a muffled cry.

The kitchen.

Estonian jumps from his bed, forces his arms in the sleeves of his daily uniform's jacket and runs down to the kitchen. He stumbles on the stairs a few times, makes even more noise that covers previous sounds, making him even more nervous. Scared even.

There's a gap between the kitchen door and its doorframe, and a huge figure eclipses the out coming light. Too familiar scarf hangs loose from wide shoulders, and too familiar, falsely sweet voice follows the moves of too familiar lips.

- And if another one?

An imperceptible movement follows, and the crashing noise comes again, deafening this time, so loud Eduard thinks his ears start bleeding.

He rushes to the room.

Ivan stands near the table, plates, forks, knives still on it. The floor is covered with pieces of broken glass. Ivan's hand is covered with blood.

Eduard slowly turns his head in direction Ivan is looking. He sees Raivis, half-lying on the floor, his cheeks shining from tears, his fingers clenched together so tightly Estonian wonders how he haven't broken them with the pressure.

- No, no, please, stop… - he whispers, forces against his wet lips, trying to move as far away from Ivan as possible. Eduard rushes to him, fear pulling him from inside like a string.

- Raivis, are you hurt? Are you okay, Raivis? – he cups Latvian's face with his hands, then gently unclenches his hands to examine them (no sights of damage), then cups his face again once more.

- Y-yes, I'm okay… N-not hurt…

- He's okay, Eduard, - comes the calm, but still childish voice. Ivan's tone was almost like an accent to Estonian by now, - Vse horosho.

- If you allow, I'll lead Raivis to his room, - says Eduard, and he's not surprised when his voice comes out as a bare whisper as well.

- Konechno, konechno… - when the Russian was overpowered by emotions, he involuntarily started to speak his native language. But Eduard has already been with Ivan Braginsky for long enough to learn some simple words.

When both servants are far enough from Ivan for him not to hear, Eduard asks Raivis again:

- What happened?

- I b-broke a plate… I was about t-t-to wash th-them when he c-came… scared me, came out s-so sud-denly!... I drop-ped the plate… He started to p-pick up pieces and g-got cut…

Estonians hands clenches harder on Raivis shoulders he has been embracing, but none of them pays attention to it.

- Got cut… - repeats the student dully. Blood on Ivan's hands was his own. Estonian suddenly feels more hurt then relieved by the revelation.

- I-I said sorry, s-sorry, repeated it, but he said it's "nichego strashnogo", and said h-he won't suffer even if he'll have an-nother cut… - Raivis bursts into tears, tries to hold them back, but fails. Words come out like muffled, but hard sobs, - so he t-took another p-p-pla-ate… broke it… and c-c-cut himself once more….

Eduard remembers Ivan's phrase minutes ago. "And another one?". Russian wasn't just talking like a child – he was like a child. It was easy to imagine him cutting himself just to figure out how much more he can bear. Like a curious…

- Eduard, I'm so s-scared… he scares m-m-me so much… I can't take it any longer…

…child…

Eduard embraces Latvian, backs away a little to cover his wet face with quick, soft consoling kisses, then embraces him again.

- Please, don't cry, or he'll get mad, - he whispers in Raivis' hair. Latvian sobs quietly die and he finally goes quiet.

- I'll take you to your bed, - he says softly.


When he returns to Ivan, the Russian has already finished bandaging his arms. He smiles at the sight of Estonian, another mood swing coming up so quickly and unpredictably.

- We've lost five plates, - he says cheerfully, like nothing happened. His arms are bandaged nearly up to elbows, and Eduard is glad that he can't see the cuts.

- Is he fine, Eduard?

- Yes, Raivis is fine. Just a little scared. You haven't hurt him.

- He's so funny to scare. Such a cry-baby, - giggles Russian, smile never leaving his face, as if someone sewed the corners of his mouth to his cheeks. He says nothing, but Eduard thinks that even this silence is ordering. He moves carefully towards the towering figure, stepping through scattered glass on the floor like though an intricate labyrinth. Ivan looks at him from above his height, eyes dark, darkly promising.

- Obnimesh menya? Pozhaluista, - he says, Russian words coming out softer and more gentle then his English ones.

- I'm sorry, I don't understand…

- I've just asked for an embrace.

Eduard obeys, hands suddenly heavy, unwilling, as he puts them on Ivan's back. Braginsky lowers himself to him, bows to rest his head on Eduard's shoulder. Estonian student wonders if Ivan is scared too.

- Are you okay, mr. Braginsky? – he doesn't turn his head away from Ivan's, so his words come out as a whisper in Russian's ear.

- Yes, - simply answers Russian. He backs off slowly, embraces Eduard's neck with his hands and lifts Estonian's head a little towards his face. It hurts, it feels like Russian is about to rip off his head, for Ivan's too careless with his strength, and Eduard is so concentrated on this pain that he misses the moment their lips connect. Braginsky kisses him pretty gently, simply cups his mouth with lips, and maybe it could feel nice if there wasn't any pain in Estonian's neck.

- You're nice, - says Ivan. He lets Eduard go, and the other catches his breath heavily. Ivan seems to loose any interest in him, having another mood swing, and walks out of the kitchen, leaving Eduard with the floor full of broken glass. Estonian student doesn't follow, though he half-expects this order to be said, and knees on the floor to gather the pieces of plates covered with dark red liquid.

At last there is complete silence in the house, but he thinks he won't be able to sleep this night.


Vacabulary: there are some Russian words in this fanfic. Russian letters and words are very easy to pronounce - just like they are written.

Vse horosho (Все хорошо) - It's okay.

Konechno (Конечно) - Of course.

Nichego strashnogo (Ничего страшного) - nothing to worry about.

Obnimesh menya (Обнимешь меня) - (you) hug(embrace) me; as a question - will(can) you embrace(hug) me?

Pozhaluista (Пожалуйста) - please.

One more thing - I feel like this story haven't come to its logical end. Shall I continue?