Red vs. Blue Blood Gulch Chronicles The Unseen Episodes
Episode 1, Training Disaster.
Tucker woke up to the smell of pancakes filling his room. He sat up quickly off of his left side and looked around sniffing confused. That's strange. I wonder who is cooking. Tucker thought well he got up from his bed and rushed out the doorway to spot Church exiting his to sniffing also.
"Dude who the hell id cooking?" Tucker asked Church confused. Church only response was a quick shrug as they then headed past Caboose's door as Caboose opened it hitting Church and knocking him strait down. Tucker turned around as Caboose looked at Tucker.
"Hello Tucker!!"
"Dude you just hit Church with your door."
"Church!!" Yelled Caboose as he shut his door and bent down to Church. "Are okay?" He sat up and looked at Caboose with a huge frown.
"Dude he's pissed. Run!" Caboose then hightailed it down the stairs to avoid Church(For Now.)
"You okay man?"
"I fucking hate you both." Standing up Church then dusted off.
"Your just jealous of my metro sexual go looks."
"I'm sure that's it Tucker." Church said sarcastically as they heard Tex.
"Stop it Caboose!!!!!" They both exchanged glances then walked down the stairs to the kitchen spotting Tex pushing Caboose away from the pancake mix.
"Its not cooked!!!" She shouted not spotting them.
"Tex are cooking for the team?" Said Church as he sat down at the table as Tucker did so also.
"Maybe. What's matter to you?"
"Well it's a little mothering of you."
"Mothering?!"
"What?"
"Mother? You're an idiot."
"I agree with Tex. Drop it and accept it." Tucker chimed in.
"She doesn't need your help." Tex only looked at Tucker then continued cooking and keeping Caboose away from the mixture. Caboose tried two more times before Tex spoke up.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE MIXTURE!!!" Caboose flinched fearing death as Tex shouted at him.
"Come here Caboose." Church said strangely nice to the rookie. Caboose ran over and sat down across from Church. Tex only frowned back at Church then continued. Leaned over to Church Tucker whispered,
"Dude she's poisoning it."
"Probably. Just feed it to Caboose."
"Sounds good to me."
"You know I'm not very hungry." Church said standing up. Tex only gave him a nasty look in return as he returned the look as he walked off he mumbled 'bitch' under his breath. Tucker looked at Tex after Church was out of sight.
"Your on fire today aren't you." Quoted Tucker before he'd realized what he'd said. Tex looked at him.
"Do you want to know why dear Tucker?"
"Uh… Yes."
"Do you remember when Church signed us up for that training thing?"
"Yeah. The one where you train little kids that are in military school."
"I over heard Church arguing about it with Vic."
"So why does Church being pissed make you pissed?"
"Its not that. I asked him about it and we're getting little brats for a week!! A whole week!!"
"Now I see. Now I'm going to be pissed to."
"Good." Tex said sitting down at the table with a pancake on a plate and fork in hand.
"Your not going to serve us?"
"Get your own pancake!"
"Fine bitch." He said getting up and getting one then was about to sit down when he remembered Church's advise, Feed them to Caboose. Then his own, She's probably poisoning us. He then sat back up,
"I'm not really hungry I think I'll skip breakfast." Tex threw the nasty look she gave Church back to Tucker he flinched slightly his eye twitching at her look as he walked away. As Tucker walked up the stairs where Church was standing leaning against the wall his eyes closed as Tucker walked over.
"Dude what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked causing Church to jump slightly. He then opened his eyes and looked at Tucker.
"I hate it when Tex looks at me that way. I swear if looks could kill I'd be dead."
"Me to. She did that to me when I left to."
"Tucker do you like kids?"
"I have Jr., but not really. Why?"
"You know when I signed us up for that dumb training thing?"
"Tex told me. When do they come?"
"Anytime now…. "Sighing Church walked to the stair way and looked at Tex.
"How many are we getting?"
"Like ten or fifteen."
"Holy shit!! Ten?!! Fifteen?!!"
"I know."
"Its like going from this to Jon And Kate + 8!!!"
"Tucker your math sucks."
"Thanks." Church sighed as Tex spotted him only looking at him quickly a few times then back at Caboose.
"Dude I'm hungry." Sighing Tucker said.
"Don't say that to loud or Tex will hear you. Not like it wouldn't be funny, but I need you alive."
"Your right."
"But I'm hungry too." Church said walking over to Tucker as Tucker messed with his light Brown hair while leaning against the wall.
"I'm going to wake up Sister."
"Wait! Tucker she's already up. She just went to go see Doc."
"I fucking hate Doc."
"Ah.. You could bitch about anything! Even if an angel came and saved you from this damn canyon you still bitch!!" They both went silent for a minute or so.
"Whatever." Tucker said braking the comfortable silence.
"Go bitch somewhere else. I have to go get ready for the brats."
"Fine. I'll go bitch with Caboose."
"Good." Church said Tucker then left to find Caboose. While hitting his face Tex walked up the staircase and was leaning against the wall watching Church.
"Lets start doing some private bitching. Caboose is a dumb ass, Tucker is a dumb ass too, Sister is a slut, Doc is.. Weird, Tex is a bitch, and the Reds are… Reds." Tex gasped when he called her a bitch.
"Private bitching, huh?" Scaring Church to death by hearing her comment he jerked around quickly. When he spotted her he grabbed his chest while she continued to watch him with her glaring Green eyes.
"Tex don't do that." He said breathing heavy she only laughed then headed to the showers. He was obviously checking out her ass as she walked away with a models stance.
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Church walked up to Tucker on Caboose on top of the base his sniper in hand now in his armor.
"I want you guys to keep a look out for that ship."
"Got it Mr. Church!!" Shouted Caboose as a ship started to land in the middle of the canyon.
"Look Church!!"
"I see it. Thanks for pointing it out. Now go get Tex Caboose, Tucker you come with me."
"Why do I have to come?!!"
"Quit your bitching and follow me."
"Fine."
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The back of the ship opened as they both walked up revealing ten kids between the ages of 7-15. All the kids came out and one of the seven year olds walked up to Church.
"Are you Mr. Church?" Sweetly asked the kid as the others made their way out of the ship and formed a line.
"Yes. By the way line up mister."
"Okay Mr. Church!" The boy said glee fully as he saluted Church before getting into the line.
"I like this kid." Church whispered to Tucker as he started pacing back and forth in front of the kids as they saluted him. Tex and caboose then casually strolled up as Tex spotted the kids and started trying not to laughing. Church shot her a nasty look that even Tex found intimidating.
"Now lets get your names. Starting from the left, you." Pointing at a nervous twelve year old boy.
"Uh. Uh.. Leonard Wheeler."
"Nice first name. And also age."
"Leonard Wheeler, I'm twelve."
"Jessica Kings, fifteen."
"Amanda Wash, eight."
"Michael Gaver, ten."
"Lisa Feud, nine."
"Jason Daven, seven."
"Allison Heaven, fourteen."
"Davey Pots, eleven."
"Linda Chiseller, eight."
"Paul Carver, thirteen."
"Very nice. Tex should I split them by age or gender?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Your more of a soldier then me." Sighing Tex then spoke,
"Do age."
"Now I ant every kid below ten on the left and every other one on the right." The kids then split into groups. Five went to the left and five to the right.
"Tex your good with math. How many girls and how many boys?" She then started thinking.
"Five boys and five girls dumb ass."
"Well you don't have to get so test! I'd like to introduce you to my team." He said walking over to Tucker and slowly walking from the left down.
"This is Tucker, he's a dumb ass. This is Caboose, he is to. Tex she's a bitch."
"Hey! You're an asshole!"
"Whatever you say Tex." He said then mouthing the word see. The kids smiled at him as Tex fumed behind him. He looked at Tex for a moment she only then crossed her arms over her chest as if to be disgusted. As she did so the kids laughed only making her madder.
"Your dead after this."
"Whatever." Sister and Jr. then walked up.
"Oh and that girl is Sister she's… Never mind. And that slimy alien is Tucker Jr. Tucker's kid." The kids gasped at Jr. as if they were excited.
"Yeah and for twenty bucks you can pet him." Church's sentence was cut off by Tex hitting him with her elbow.
"Ow!.. Bitch."
"Asshole." They said disguising their love for each other with their usual comments. Tex was secretly smiling under her helmet as Church did the same.
"Now tucker you and your ugly kid give these kids a tour of the magnificent place that is Blue base."
"Why me?"
"I'm so fucking sick of answering that question!!! Just do it!!"
"Fine. Come on." Tucker said giving the kids a tour while Jr. followed.
"Let me help!!" Shouted Caboose as he ran to catch up with Sister behind him.
"I'm going to go up on top of Blue base." Tex said stopping the awkward silence between them.
"Okay." He said as she trailed off for the base.
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"And this is a lift. You step in it, it takes you upstairs." The kids whoa'd as Tucker then continued his tour. He then made it to the bedrooms.
"Bad news is you guys are going to have to chose a roommate. You can pick anyone here at the base."
"Can we pick Jr.?"
"He stays with me." Then all of them raised their hands other then the older ones.
"What?"
"Can we stay with ?" All the ones that had their hands up asked.
"Uh… Church!!!"
"What! I'm busy god damn it!!"
"We have a problem."
"What the hell is it this time?!"
"Dude all the kids want to stay with me because of Jr.!"
"Pick from a hat." He said walking in trying to calm down.
"Okay."
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"Okay. Three people and I mean only THREE people will stay in my room at the most. Now lets start with me."
"Better then me." Church's deep annoyed voice chimed in.
"Shut it. Okay. Linda Chiseller, Davey Pots, and.. Lisa Feud. Now go to my room and get comfortable." The three kids headed off excited.
"Now, Caboose. Paul Carver. Only one since Caboose is dumb."
"Sister. Jason Daven, and.. Jessica Kings. Two since she's a slut."
"Tucker!!"
"Shut it Church you know its true!!"
"Just do me next."
"Fine. Church. Leonard Wheeler, and, Amanda Wash."
"And finally. Tex. By default Tex gets, Allison Heaven and Michael Gaver." He finished as the kids trailed off to the rooms.
"Try not to suffocate them with a pillow. Like you did to me when we were dating."
"Shut up Church."
"Its true! Tucker I swear she did. I woke up with a pillow over my face and Tex screaming, 'Die asshole! Die!'."
"Not getting involved."
"Oh come on Tucker!"
"Dude there is no fucking way I'm getting involved." He said walking away. After he was out of the room Tex removed her helmet and headed to her room as Church did after sighing once.
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"So are you guys settled?" Tucker asked leaning against the doorway as Leonard Wheeler came up behind him spotting Jr..
"I wish Leonard had a dog."
"Dog? Dude that thing is my kid. Not a dog. Now go pick on someone else's kid." The boy trailed off and proceeded to the restroom.
"I think Jr. is cool!!" Davey said walking over to Jr.
"Heck yeah!" They started playing with him. As Tucker watched the kids the heard Tex scream.
"Tex!" Tucker screamed running out as everyone else did the same.
"What happened?" Tucker asked as she ran out with Michael chasing her around with a knife.
"STOP!!!!" Church yelled grabbing Tex causing the boy to stop.
"Put that back now!!!" The boy walked away sadly to the kitchen as Tex pushed Church away.(Again.)
"Let go of me."
"I was just trying to help."
"I don't need your help."
"I was expecting for that response." Church then started laughing as Tex shot him a nasty look.
"What are you laughing at?"
"You're the most well known freelancer, you've killed millions of people, you manage to scare the shit out of everyone here, but a little ten year old boy sent you into a panic."
"I was not panicking!" She shot back putting her hands on her hips and swaying them slightly as she spoke.
"Then what was that?"
"I didn't want to hurt him."
"Whatever."
"Oh come on."
"What is it Tex?"
"You are so not worth my time or breath."
"I was when we were dating."
"Your not now. The only reason it seemed that way to you is because you've only had sex with one other women."
"That is so not true!"
"Yes it is!"
"Church I think your argument is getting personal." Tucker pointed out as the kids glared at them. Tex looked back
"Lets go somewhere private." She said pulling him by his arm into a broom closet and shutting the door. It was pitch dark until Tex turned on the light in between them.
"Its not true!"
"Yes it is." She said taking off his helmet.
"Why'd you do that?"
"What?" She asked holding his helmet at her side.
"Took off my helmet?"
"I hate having arguments with a expressionless Spartan helmet."
"Oh is that it? You drag me into a closet to argue with someone who you said a few minutes ago wasn't worth your breath. Then you remove my helmet. If I wasn't mistaken I would think you were making a move on me."
"Only in your very tiny brain."
"At least its bigger then your anger control." Tex gave him a nasty look then handed him his helmet.
"At least my anger control is smaller then your love with your self." Tex quickly shot back.
"There is nothing wrong with liking your looks!"
"There is when you talk to yourself about yourself in the mirror!" He gasped at her comment.
"How in the hell did you know about that!!"
"You might be surprised what I know Leonard Church."
"Don't call me by my full name!!"
"Why not Leonard Church?"
"Don't be sarcastic with me young lady."
"Young lady? Your talking to me like a father!"
"No I'm not. Tex you're a bitch and you blow things out of portion!"
"You're an ungrateful bitter asshole!!"
"That's it. I'm done." He said leaving and trying off the light as he left closing the door. Tex then tried to open the door to find it locked.
"CHURCH!!! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!" He laughed evilly on the other side.
"Maybe later!" He responded.
"OPEN THIS DOOR OR I"LL BUST IT DOWN!!"
"Its metal Tex."
"……. Please?"
"Later." He said walking away as she shouted.
"Don't you leave me in here!!!" Church then walked to his room to find Leonard picking on Amanda.
"STOP IT LEONARD! Can I call you Leonard Jr.?"
"Sure."
"STOP IT LEONARD JR.!!!" He shouted laughing afterwards as Tex still shouted in the background. Tucker then tapped Church on the shoulder causing church to turnaround smiling.(Rare for Church.)
"Are you here to do some more bitching?"
"No. Why did you lock Tex in the closet?"
"Because she called me in quote, 'An ungrateful bitter asshole.' So I locked her in."
"Your so dead when she gets out."
"You got that right. But at least I can enjoy a few hours or so without her calling me an asshole."
"Yeah. She is probably sooooo pissed!"
"Yep. Now its time for lunch."
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"LEONARD L. CHURCH OPEN THIS GOD DAMN CLOSET!!!!" Tex said hitting the door hard. She then stopped as she pulled the light to turn it on. It only flickered on then turned off she panicked and repeatedly pulled it to only knock the bulb down.
"Shit. Church knows I get claustrophobic." She paced panicking slightly as her thoughts raced.
"He's so fucking dead when I get out of here!" She then kicked the door only to feel extreme pain so bad she screamed.
"OWWWW!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! I THINK I BROKE MY FOOT!!!!" She hoped slipping and landing on the floor on the glass. She was now in so much pain she could scream as bad as so wanted to. She only pulled up her hand and pulled out some glass and shut her eyes in pain as she laid in the closet begging for him to open it.
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"I love your sandwiches." Leonard said to Tucker as everyone was eating. In response Tucker messed up the young boy's hair as he took a bit of Tucker's sandwich. Noticing the silence Church spoke up,
"Why is Tex not cursing at me anymore?"
"Who knows. Maybe she's done fighting.(Highly unlikely.)"
"I doubt that Tucker. WAIT A SECOND!! Tex is claustrophobic
"Clausta what?!" Tucker shouted confused. Then seven year old Jason Devin spoke up,
"Someone who fears small spaces or doesn't like the feeling of feeling trapped."
"Uh.. Thanks. Tex fears small spaces?"
"Only being trap in them. So she's going to be super, super, super! Pissed when I let her out."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Leave her there until dinner."
"Dude your dead."
"Don't remind me. Just let me live in this moment."
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Tex slowly tried standing up on her foot only to feel severe pain causing her to scream in pain and gasp in. She used the wall to lower herself to the ground slowly as she felt stabbing pain on her right thigh. She grabbed the area only to be cut by glass. She jerked her hand away and continued to lean her back on the wall as she sighed and closed her eyes regretting going inside of the closet to argue.
"My foot is broken. She mumbled to herself as she tried to deal with the pain as she heard everyone talking in the kitchen about something and Caboose's brain. She focused on their voices to get distracted.
"Dude what the hell is wrong with you!" Tucker shouted from the kitchen. She then suddenly started to search for a flash light which she got lucky and found easily. She flipped it on to see blood running down her armored arm. She winched and grit her teeth in pain as she began to remove her armor.
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"I'm going to check on Tex." Church then walked slowly to the closet so slowly a trip that normally took him three minutes took him fifteen. As he approached the door he could hear Tex's cries of pain. He quickly placed his ear closer to the door.
"Tex? Are you okay?"
"Church…"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. Will you open the door?"
"Yes." He said opening the door to see her in her Black tee shirt and Black pants leaned against the wall bleeding and limping.
"What the hell did you do to yourself?"
"Long story, but I think I broke my foot and I have some glass in my hand and my ass."
"Can I get the glass out of your ass?"
"No. Now get me out of here I'm having a panic attack." Smiling slightly at his love and helped her out of the closet and into the med bay. She leaned her front hips against the metal table as Church grabbed some tweezers.
"Are you suppose to use those?"
"How the fuck should I know?"
"Just asking."
"There is no easy way to say this, but I'm going to need you to take off your pants."
"Just pull the fucking glass out and stop trying to get me naked!"
"Fine!!" She flinched and squeezed the table she had a hold of as he pulled some out of her thigh slowly.
"You so owe me for this Allison."
"Its your fault."
"You have a point." As he surveyed for anymore glass he spotted a cut on her shoulder.
"Tex you have a cut on your shoulder. And its still bleeding."
"Just get the damn glass out."
"Sorry." He pulled a large piece out at a reasonable speed although it was deep in and it hurt so bad she screamed slightly.
"Ahhh! That hurts!"
"I know." She then screamed again as he removed another piece.
"Aw fuck!!"
"You curse a lot for any girl of any sort."
"I know! Now finish you asshole!"
"See. Fine." He finished after a few more seconds and patched up her cuts and she laid on the metal table and sighed.
"Let me see your hand." Flipping over her right hand he noticed it was bleeding, but the glass had already been removed.
"I pulled out the glass." While trying to deal with the pain she had felt like stabbing Church.
"Oh." He patched her hand up then turned to her leg. He pulled up her pant leg to get a better look. It look at her ankle that was bruised and looked broken even from the outside.
"Tex it looks broken."
"I hate you."
"I know."
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While walking into the base Church noticed Tex sitting on the top of the base with her legs hanging off the side and her helmet off and sitting next to her. He went up and sat down the same way next to her,
"I'm glad your ankle is just sprained."
"Me to."
"So what are you doing up here instead of resting your ankle?"
"I needed some fresh air."
"Makes sense." She then turned and looked at him as he did the same their eyes met. She glared into his Brown eyes as he glared into hers until she kiss him. He was about to put his hands on her waist and face when she pushed him off the edge of the base. As he hit the ground she could hear a loud crash as he hit.
"BITCH!!!!" Tex laughed.
"Asshole."
End Episode One.
