*
Now.
Cliffjumper and Jazz were looking over the scene below. Cliffjumper was already here. And after he had finished his other duties, Jazz had come down to join his friend for company.
There were orders from Prowl to ask several Autobots in for routine training and Dark Angel had inadvertently become one of them.
Jazz and Cliffjumper were glad they had both decided not to pit her against anyone or spar themselves. She had not been herself lately and she had been rather aggravated for a fair while, judging by the holographic massacre that was happening below.
Jazz knew that her often rocky friendship with Hot Rod sometimes cooled her down but he had been on assignment back home for the last Earth year or so and would be returning back to Autobot City today. He hadn't been around to cool her engines like he usually did, and they still had to contend with this bad tempered Autobot femme.
Jazz thought it was rather amusing that as much as they were both hot heads, they were also a veritable calm on each other, a perfect couple. Something he and his comrades had found out a while back, that there was something more than just being friends between the two of them, something they both denied between themselves.
But just as it had suddenly started, it ended as quickly. He was there for part of it that day when things had gone south between them.
"She really needs to relax." Commented Cliffjumper.
"Not much we can do li'l buddy. No one can get close enough to get her calmed down since Hot Rod went on that mission. Even Hot Rod was tryin' ta avoid her before he left but got beat up instead, and now she's feelin' downright slagged prob'ly coz o'tha fight they had. We've tried ta talk t'her but she don' let anyone close to her physically but the twins an' her femme friends an' maybe ol' Ratch' too, but even they haven't been 'round lately. Optimus thought that assignin' her to some office work would help, but it's like havin' Ratchet workin' in the main office doin tha paperwork!"
Jazz and Cliffjumper continue to look on into the training area below observing the holographic sequences being played out. Ever since she had started the combat training sequences, she'd been tearing everything up with a ruthless aggression uncommon to Autobot servers. They just let her be on her own in the training room here at Autobot City. They were somewhat surprised at how much she was cutting loose, destroying everything in sight. Acting more like a war crazy Decepticon than an Autobot and that blatant display of power and destruction really bothered them. They weren't really aware how much power she really had as she hid it most of the time.
"I think we should get Ratchet." Comments Cliffjumper. "She'll listen to him."
"Yeah." Replies Jazz, whereas he radios the medic to come and chat with them.
In the training area Dark Angel could feel the essence of what Jazz and Cliffjumper were talking about up above. She had gotten better with her psionics lately and had flat out refused to be trained by anyone. Preferring to train herself and go her own way. But that wasn't what was bothering her. It was Hot Rod. Something he had done about a year ago before he left to go on assignment was still bothering her, and she knew he would be returning today.
In the last few years though, she had gotten better at reading the emotions of others, much better than the occasional glimmer of thought or emotional instinct of years gone past. Her kinetics had changed too, gotten stronger, made her physically stronger also.
She could still create her shadow walks through subspace, but could do other things with that particular skill too, things she never told anyone about, not even her closest friends.
She let her vents cool her body down enough to finally get her wits back after her vicious rampage and destruction of the training room. Then she took off back to her quarters while Jazz and Cliffjumper were busy with the comms unit contacting Ratchet, before they could object and left them with the mess.
*
A year ago.
It was about a week before Hot Rod would leave for his assignment on Cybertron.
On this occasion, Dark Angel is drowning her sorrows in some concentrated high grade energon she got on the way home. But it didn't help, she never got drunk, no matter how much energon she drank. Her system was equipped to handle massive amounts of energy input and process it very quickly, making her able to consume energon in large copious quantities. So by the time she'd finished one glass, her system had already digested the energon and processed it, allowing her to drink one glass after another.
She was about to open the last pack of canisters she had and consume it when she heard someone at the door. She didn't get up straight away to answer the door, as the concentrated energon made her slightly overtired like a fed predator after a big meal.
But inadvertently Hot Rod let himself in. She remembered he had an access key to her apartment, so she sat down and continued to drink her energon concentrate.
"You know that stuff will short circuit your brains, beautiful!" Jokes Hot Rod.
She raises a brow and asks in a lurid manner, "You want one?" she picks one up and holds it out to him. He grabs it but then puts it aside and pulls her close instead, flirting with her.
"One what exactly?" he queries, "Personally I think you've had enough to drink."
"I'll decide I've had enough when I'm good and ready to decide..." she suddenly loses her footing and stumbles, taking Hot Rod with her as they crash on top of each other onto the floor with her on top.
"Not that I don't mind a femme being on top of me but I'd say that's a sure indication you've had waaaay too much, even if you can't get drunk!" He jokes.
"Just shut up will you!" She says and moves over to get off him.
When free of her encumbering weight he comments, "Oh I love it when you're bossy!" A comment that makes her grin.
She watches him get up and then he turns around to help her up off of the floor. "Damn you're heavy! Though I've never tried to pick you up before! You really need to lose some weight!" He makes constant jokes while he tries again and again to get her onto her recharge bed.
She was playing with him, being a dead weight on purpose. "Flattery will get you nowhere mech!" She muses at his attempts to get her up. In the end she gets herself up off the floor and onto her bed and lays down, sprawled out, and pats a spot beside her.
He instead takes a chair beside the bed and sits down. "You realise femme that by keeping me here against my will," He muses, "You're cutting into my valuable night life."
"What? You came to see me as I recall!?" She retorts jovially.
"Yeah I did but still…" He leans back on the chair and puts his hands behind his head.
She is a tad annoyed at how blasé he is with his comments. For the last few years they had been more than just friendly with each other, enjoying each other's close company while each of them went about their normal lives. But she had become attached to him, but not him to her as far as she knew and that's what annoyed her, she had feelings for him beyond just being friends, and she didn't want to ruin it by telling him how she really felt.
She was in a constant state of emotional confusion nowadays and didn't know what to do. She rolls over and faces herself away from him so he doesn't see her face.
"So what's bothering you my 'Angel?" He knew she could get like this at times when something was bothering her and he wanted to know what was wrong this time. 'This one is so damn hard to figure out at times, but then again all femmes are generally like that.' He thought.
He gets up and moves over to the bed and puts a caring hand on her side as she is faced away from him. "Is it because the twins are outta town on a mission and you can't play rough with them or…is it because you just need some relief of the mech persuasion? Come on we're best friends D', we can tell each other anything! Can't we?"
He'd struck a sensitive circuit that she was not willing to contend with and snapped at him. Up until now she'd never once shared her spark with anyone She had interfaced with others but never opened herself up to them completely. She had one little ounce of a romantic side in her that wanted to do that with him, but, as much as he flirted with her he never took any real interest in her romantically. And she held back from getting herself hurt and going beyond being just friends with him as she knew of his reputation with other femmes.
Hot Rod knew she had never shared her spark with someone, a secret they had confided in each other. He figured it was the reason why she was so uptight at times and emotionally wound up. But it was her friendly honest company he valued, everyone did. All the other femmes would just swoon all over him because of his charming confident demeanour and she did no such thing. And while many others spurned his company due to his devil may care nature and lifestyle, she was always there to greet him when he returned from whatever adventure he had gone on where others wouldn't even bother to talk to him. She was always around, always willing to talk to him and keep him company if he wanted it, whenever he wanted it.
He did often joke about the fact she hardly ever went out with, spending most of her time either working, researching or training, he supposed.
But it had gone beyond a joke now and she couldn't hold back anymore, it had finally gotten to her. "It's all a joke to you isn't it! All this time we've been friends and you've never once even noticed a damn thing have you?" She gets up off the recharge bed and storms off to her lounge.
She was right, he didn't get it, but he followed after her as he was concerned about her as a friend. He wanders after her and finds her leaning against the wall looking out her viewing screen at the City outside.
He comes around to face her and says "What was that outburst about?" He sees the look of emotional anguish on her face and reaches out to her, only to have her slap his arm away from her.
She then wanders off somewhere else to get away from him. "Aww c'mon D', it's not like you to run away from anything, what is it?" He had to admit that he was concerned now. She was never sulky and openly emotional like this, at least not around him as far as he knew.
She turns and faces him and starts yelling, "You just don't get it do you, you over pompous playboy jerk. You go out there chasing some dream or some flimsy brained femme or go running off on some adventure without thinking about what you've got right in front of you. This is about what you really need, not about what you think you want!"
She storms off into her room and lies down on her recharge bed burying her faceplate in the head cushion feeling like she's about to excrete fluids from her optics like humans do when they cry.
That's when he finally gets it. It came to him like a slap in the face.
Someone who had been a loving friend to him all this time had fallen in love with him. He'd come across this with one or two femmes in the past he had not been attached to, but they had been attached to him. He felt like a real jerk for not noticing it in her as she hid it so well, but he figured she couldn't hold it in anymore.
After thinking for a little bit, he realised that he wasn't ready to face the fact that he may feel the same way about her.
"Okay I admit it; I'm a first class mechrat for not being able to see what's right in front of me. Are you happy now?" She always valued his nonchalant honesty, and he was hoping it would make her laugh like it often did, but not this time. He follows her over to her recharge birth and sits down next to her. He reaches out for her face and takes her chin and they look at each other. "I'm not that stupid you know, I should've known something like this might happen. It has happened to me before."
"Hmph...yes." she says very quietly and meekly, trying to hide her face in her cushion and using it to absorb the fluids leaking from the corners of her optics. She knew about those times, as he had a habit of telling her details about his exploits with the femmes, even if she didn't want to hear about them.
"This is about you and me isn't it?"
"Mmmhm." Was her muffled reply.
"How long?" he asks, "How long have you had feelings for me then?" His curiosity getting the better of him. She feels it won't get her anywhere revealing the truth. "Well?" he asks impatiently.
She starts crying again into her pillow, "Pretty much since day one, since we first met."
"And you didn't tell me?" he is very surprised, 'Damn, she hid it very well!' "Why? I thought we could tell each other anything?"
She is very upset now having had to hold back her real feelings for so long and bare them to the object of her affection; it was a very raw experience for her. "At the time I wasn't interested in being with anyone. And I didn't know much about you. I would've said something eventually, but then I heard about your reputation as a playbot to the femmes back on Cybertron. It scared me Hot Rod, scared me that if I took a chance, you wouldn't even bother with me. I've seen some of the femmes you've had your way with and I don't want to be another forgotten niche on your hip casing, considering how you treat them afterwards. I just held back for my own safety. I didn't want to get hurt. Being just friends was safer for me than anything else on offer." She stopped.
"And yet you stuck around as a friend..." He just hugs her and she lets him.
He was going to say more but then shut off his vocaliser. He couldn't say he wasn't surprised that this had happened to him again, but not like this, she'd been able to get closer to him than anyone has ever gotten to before, been able to reach that isolated wild freedom loving part of him that no one can get to.
She's been better than just an ordinary friend to him, a best mate, and a true friend. He suddenly saw all her pain at once and realised what she had done for him all those times and what a jerk he'd been, knowing that she deserved better from him from now on. All those times he'd told her every detail of all his amorous exploits with other femmes and not realising it was hurting her, doing this to her. Now he understood why she often spent time alone away from others, it was the isolation that gave her comfort, protected her from being hurt, the aloof air with others, just as it had done with him, and why she was oft cranky towards him, picking fights.
"You know you're right, I don't usually go for your type!" He joked. This obnoxious comment got a swift slap on the face plate from her and knocked him off the bed and onto the floor. She gets up from the bed and picks him up with one hand and presses him up against the wall, "But you know what? It's your loyalty and friendship I value the most." Now he was just deliberately picking a fight with her.
This does soften her outlook somewhat and she lets him down.
"This kind of changes things between us now doesn't it?" He pauses for a moment to think more on it then continues, "But I really don't see why it has to change?"
"And why not may I ask?" As she gruffly crosses her arms and answers back.
"Well we can always have a little fun on the side can't we? Maybe do some other stuff too, still be friends and all that, no hassles, no commitments and whatever." He says slyly.
"Damn it Hot Rod!" She yells at him, "You jerk, I've got more integrity than that. Think with your head and not with your spark for once. I know you're hung up on keeping your freedom, but you're going to have to grow up someday aren't you? I'm not going to share myself with anyone that comes along like your femmes do alright, I've had enough. I'm not going to be another pretty toy you can play with as you see fit. Just because we've been friends this long, doesn't mean you'll get what you want out of me. Now you understand why I didn't want to tell you how I felt. Well do you?" She crosses her arms and glares at him angrily.
He starts laughing and she lifts her brows quizzically, "I love it when you're so expressive babe!" He gets up and leaves her to her apartment, grabbing the can of high grade energon on the bench on the way out, "I'll see you later 'Angel! Today was an interesting adventure into your psyche; perhaps we can do it again sometime sweetheart?" Ever trying to be a gentlemech, he bows and walks out, leaving a very angry femme behind.
'Is that how its going to be if I give into his charms if I let him have his way, being used for his whims and then left alone to feel like I am now, confused and isolated and used?' She sits and sighs about tonight's events and goes to her recharge bed. She is still upset and feels she could cry a river of optical fluids.
What she didn't know was that Hot Rod was harbouring the same feelings for her but had made jokes about their conversation. He had left her apartment quickly because he couldn't face what he was feeling as he was still just too afraid to tell her or do anything about it. But he did have an idea he'd play out later.
*
