Hi and welcome to a collection of short Disney based crossover stories, that I have put together for my lovely girlfriend Cheryl's birthday. Of course anyone else is welcome to read them too!

She is into X-files, Harry Potter, Family Guy and of course loves the Disney Villains, so these are all shorts about the Bad Girls.

They are for fun and stand alone, I own none of the characters, just borrowing. I hope to entertain and if you enjoy reading them feel free to leave a comment and review.

This wasn't meant to be the first story, but due to a corrupt file and a lack of time, it will have to do. Maybe by Valentine's day I might have fixed things and uploaded a few more one shots.

Have fun and on with the show.


Ursula slithered down the cobbled street, she hated being out of the water. The water supported her rather large frame, without it her body protested at carrying the excessive blubberous mass and the muscular tentacles moved more slowly in the air than the liquid so she shuffled along painfully rather than gliding across the ocean floor.

She sighed, seeing the yellow light spilling through the dirty glass window of the drinking establishment. She was nearly there, only a few hundred yards for her body to manage before she could sit down in a chair and with a drink.

The Cavern Tavern, dirty, dark, serving only just passable alcohol. But they were welcome there, so this was where they agreed to meet on two out of the three times a year they gathered together. She had to smile, it really was a twisted version of a social life. Her two oldest friends, Maleficent and The Queen. TQ as they, possibly her only friends, referred to her.

And Ursula smirked at the near argument they had had about what to call her. She refused to tell them her Christian name, the one given to her by her family, the one she had been given as a baby.

They toyed with calling her The Evil Queen, as most of her kingdom referred to her, but she took objection to that as well. Something about people not understanding her and that she wasn't "Evil", just misunderstood.

She then elaborated that when she had married the king she had been given a royal and regal name, her actual name not having the right ring to it. It was the custom that Queens were called Mary, Katherine, Elizabeth or Anne. She had despised her royal name almost as much as her name given by her mother.

It had been her husband's choice and it had made her feel unworthy in her pasted endeavors. This new name, it eclipsed the past, and any accomplishments she had. And it was made clear that she needed to embrace her new name as a fresh start, as a wife and mother, and nothing else. The renaming seemed to be the death of her dreams and any individuality and the seed of her hatred was sown and slowly began to grow.

But now, it had been so long that no-one remembered her given name and hardly anyone even remembered her royal name. All her two friends knew was that she hated them both.

Her name reminded her of her poor upbringing and her mother shouting for her to come and help around the hovel they called home. The only other person who used her Christian name would have been her husband and both women knew that hadn't been a happy marriage. It had been a power play where their friend had done what was required to be a good wife, one above suspicion, waiting for the opportunity when he died. She didn't want to be reminded of him either.

So now it was her choice, she asked for everyone to call her The Queen. Her courtiers and castle staff did so out of fear. Her two friends couldn't be swayed by fear so when she had first told her friends they had laughed and told her she had delusions of grandeur.

She had snapped back that unlike her two companions she was royalty and had "a sense of propriety and decorum and that The Queen was her correct title." She had added with a glint in her eye that to "refer to me as anything else would be treasonous."

The other two were going to continue to mock her and suggest several more suitable names like Old Hag or Bad Apple when she opened up rather surprising and told them in more detail the tale of her upbringing and marriage and how being labelled with a name bothered her almost as much as the brat child Snow White.

The other two women were ultimately sympathetic. They both knew how hard it could be as a clever woman who had ambition, possessed skills with money or magic, and who was then forced into behaving as a man or society expected. They had also been marginalized, shunned and rejected because they didn't fit the norm.

So they agreed to calling her TQ, the compromise showing the growing bond of friendship developing between them.

Ursula's smile widened thinking of her evening. If nothing else, her two friends were feisty and independent and once she got off her aching tentacles she hoped she would enjoy their evening of drinking together.

She pushed open the door, it was hanging badly on one hinge and squealed horribly announcing her arrival. She shook her head as almost every eye turned to watch her enter the building. It was night outside, but it was so dark inside the large, low ceilinged room that her eyes didn't need much time to adjust. She knew her friends would be in the back, but she sought them out just to make sure.

They were sitting at the largest table against the back wall so she began to cross the room. The chairs might be wooden and uncomfortable but she looked longing at the only left vacant for her, her limbs protesting with every movement at carrying her much further.

She was glad the next meeting was her turn to host and that she would be able to stay under the sea, not having to subject her rather bulbous body to leaving its natural environment.

Due to her size she travelled slowly to the back of the bar, pushing past people and tables and receiving dour and dirty looks from anyone she shooed out of her way. Dirty looks was all she got though, everyone knew the hierarchy here and moved for her, she was, after all, powerful and notorious and deserving of what limited respect anyone in the tavern was capable of showing.

She slumped into the empty chair and greeted her companions, "Ladies."

"Evening." TQ tipped her glass towards her in a toasting gesture.

Maleficent poured her a glass of whiskey from an old and label-less bottle that was resting on the table. "Cheers!" She said as she slide her glass over the table and clinked their glasses together.

Ursula reached out a pudgy hand and grasped her tumbler and downed the fire water. Whiskey, she decided, was worth a visit to the land every now and then as it burned her throat and filled her stomach and made her eyes water just a little.

"They still have a few bottles of the good stuff then." She remarked as she refilled her glass and sipped more leisurely at the second serving.

"Yes even holes like this one have their charms." The horned dragon lady commented.

TQ smirked into her drink and said nothing, she didn't need to, they all knew this wasn't where they should be meeting. They were all destined for so much more and soon they would be dinning in castles, drinking fine wines and not skulking round old and drab taverns like three outcast despots.

TQ even had a castle, but the mood of her people was hanging by a thread, rumors of magical and dark deeds surrounded the woman. Having Maleficent and Ursula arrive at the castle might push things just too far, and give the people the courage to openly call her "Witch" and start an uprising.

The bar, despite being grubby and old fashioned was the safer course of action, for the time being at least.

Ursula looked round and noticed most people were ignoring them, only the bar tender gingerly looked their way occasionally, probably making sure magic wasn't sparking dangerously from the trio. She tried to catch his eye to get him to bring her over a bar snack, but he seemed to be polishing the bar quite intently.

"Why won't he look at me?!" She huffed. "I don't have the energy to get up and go to the bar."

"You aren't exactly the body beautiful." TQ bluntly stated, looking at the rolls of skin that sat round the woman. "Plus the mortals in here, they are scared, you can feel it in the air. They want to give us a wide berth." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Very little did these days.

Some people would have taken offence at the honest way The Queen summed up Ursula's appearance, but blunt honesty was one of the main things the women had holding them together. They all hated pathetic men with power complexes and narrow minded views too. They disliked the world that shunned them and bonded over planning its downfall, all the while swapping magical spells and artifacts between each other.

They all knew that if they asked an opinion or advice from the group, they would get the truth, however unpalatable that might be. An honest assessment of their chances of success, risks pointed out and flaws highlighted. In its own way it was refreshing.

It helped that none of them were scared of the other, they knew they were a magical match and that to fight each other would be a waste of energy and time.

They had an uneasy truce which lead to forming bonds that over time had begun to resemble friendship and trust. It had been many years since they had seriously argued, or thought to harm each other, steal a potion or invade each other's lands. For years they had been a trio, a light in the darkness for each other.

So instead of getting angry and throwing magic around Ursula just shrugged and responded, "You like me being your overweight friend. When we are in a group like this I make you two look good. You feel more slim and attractive. It is a universal truth, all women have a fat friend that they compare themselves to, it boosts their confidence."

Maleficent and TQ shared a look, they weren't going to deny it, and they did both look good compared to their overweight friend.

"I do sometimes wish I had a better figure," Ursula commented, "but I struggle with self-control and enjoy life too much to limit myself. And right now, I'm hungry!"

Ursula's stomach growled loudly as she shifted in the uncomfortable chair and her two companions looked at her pointedly.

"I've got an apple you could eat." TQ said with a wicked smirk. Ursula just quirked her eyebrow and muttered out, "Really?" Whether it was because of TQ's history with apples or because she was being offered fruit which she loathed almost as much as vegetables was unclear.

Maleficent shook her head at the two witches goading each other and then took pity on the larger woman and went to the bar. The bartender scurried around for her, shaking visibly as he passed over a large packet of chips. The horned woman thanked him but he had already lowered his head and was frantically polishing an already clean area of the bar, avoiding any further eye contact.

The slim woman dropped the packet in front of Ursula and retook her seat.

"What flavor?" The Sea-Witch asked as she ripped into the foil.

"Smoked Sinner." Maleficent answered.

"Ugh!" Ursula said on an exhale. "So basically smoky bacon with a fancy name and black packet! Was there another choice?"

"Devilled Delinquents." Maleficent told her, "Apparently a hint of youth roasted succulently, at least that is how the bartender was trying to sell them to me. Probably bbq beef by another name to be honest."

Ursula scrunched up her face, disgust clearly painted on her features.

Maleficent just smirked at her friend's obvious displeasure. She then asked, "What food would you rather have?"

"A nice jellied electric eel or pan fried mer-tail! Something fresh and untainted from the bountiful sea as this establishment is a coastal bar. The food from the land is always smothered in some foul sauce or accompaniment. Even flounder fish or seagull would be more substantial than this."

"It is a cheap tavern Ursula My Dear." TQ said. "Smoked Sinner chips is more sophisticated than I expected. Last time I was here they offered me pickled eyeballs or crispy skin strips. And they couldn't even tell me skin of what!"

Ursula made an unintelligible noise indicating she wasn't happy but stuffed some chips into her mouth and swallowed without making any more fuss.

They fell back into easy conversation, Maleficent picking up where they had left off, in an attempt to smooth the larger woman's feelings. She told her, "You aren't just our fat friend. We value your opinion and advice. And you aren't the worst looking in here tonight. You have no reason to feel self-conscious."

Ursula did a quick scan over the room as Maleficent pointed out the three older women sitting together in a huddle.

"You are far more attractive than The Fates."

"Hardly difficult!" Ursula shot back. "Three blind women who are almost as old as time itself. I have youth and the ability to see myself in a mirror on my side."

TQ made a strangled noise at the mention of Youth and Ursula in the same sentence but kept her mouth shut round the sarcastic comment she wanted to spill out.

The larger woman just glared, clearly not needing a vocal utterance to know what her friend was thinking.

The horned woman again stepped in, "Well Death is here tonight." She indicated the cloaked figure sitting drinking a pint of warm and flat beer. As three sets of eyes landed on him he picked up a spider that was crawling across the table and popped it into his dark and hooded recess. They assumed he had eaten it, but no-one wanted to look too closely into the dark emptiness of his cloak. Quickly they averted their eyes, all three knowing it didn't end well if you let your gaze linger too long on Death.

"But Death is thought of as a man. You know men don't have the same social pressures we do as women." Ursula moaned.

"Are you happy with yourself?" Maleficent tried again.

"Under the sea, of course." And Ursula smiled, loving her dark corner of the ocean, the way the water caressed her body and the chilling coldness sat on her skin. Her skin looked sallow and lumpy on the land, under the water it became sleek and glossy. When the water surrounded her large frame she was transformed into a formidable mass of muscle, her tentacles giving her fantastic reach and suction if needed.

The water was her world, one that reflected her personality, dark, cold, dangerous. It gave her endless entertainment with stupid fish and naive young merfolk to manipulate. She had the coast and boatyards to enchant sailors and vary her environment when she grew bored of her cavern. Yes she was happy.

"Then that's all that matters." The slim witch nodded her head.

"You seem to be full of psychobabble tonight." Ursula remarked.

"Since everyone has fallen into a deep sleep, I seem to have quite a lot of time on my hands." Maleficent responded. "I have taken to reading."

TQ rolled her eyes and laughed at her friend. "Really? You are reading?"

"I can read." The horned woman stroppily bit back.

"I know that, you are a fine witch and most spells are written in books, so obviously you read. I just thought being the free spirit you are you'd be spending more time in Dragon form flying and enjoying the natural world." TQ commented.

"I spent weeks doing that, but it gets boring quite quickly when you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Now I read and my latest book has been on the psychology of the soul."

"I wouldn't know about doing what you want, when you want." TQ lamented, "That blasted wench Snow White managed to foil my sleeping curse and is now opposing my reign. I never seem to get to do what I want."

"Poor you." Ursula's voice dripped sarcasm.

"It is poor me actually." TQ shot back. "I had the most horrific shock last week." And she downed the whiskey in her glass and pulled her cloak tighter round herself as she shuddered remembering.

That of course piqued Ursula's interest. "What was so horrific then?"

Sighing TQ looked her friend in the eye, noticing Maleficent had also put her drink down to listen closely.

"I asked the mirror to show me Snow." Her grip on the empty glass was tight, her hand going white from the pressure.

"I was expecting to see her asleep in her glass coffin, as I had planned. She wasn't."

The other two women were leaning in, knowing there was more.

"The mirror showed me the stupid young girl fornicating with her Prince, both so happy and young. The mirror managed to catch the moment she fell over into blissful release, so I was forced to watch her revel in her pleasure. It made me feel sick." She rubbed a hand down her face to try and scrub away the image.

Her friends were struggling not to laugh, Ursula's full and voluptuous lips were quirking into a smile and Maleficent was studying the table rather intently, a telltale shake to her shoulders.

"That wasn't the worst of it." The Queen continued. "I was angry beyond belief, not only had they broken my curse but she had found love. That spoilt, obnoxious, undeserving and naive girl seems to have an endless supply of luck. Every door opens to her, she has never had to work hard at anything. Her father and the kingdom loved her, supported her, and now she has True Love with a Prince to add to that list."

The agitated woman grasped the bottle and poured herself some more liquor and gulped a mouthful. "I snapped at the mirror, telling him I had seen enough. That smug and conceited bastard" She licked her lips, "told me I seemed stressed. He then offered up an explanation for that saying that maybe he ought to show me more fornicating couples so I could see to my unresolved need. He implied I was sexually frustrated!"

Her two companions gave up struggling with their laughter at this, Ursula's rather large frame was jiggling with mirth and Maleficent lifted her head to reveal tears glistening in her eyes as they let out the laughter they had been straining to keep in.

"It isn't funny!" TQ stormed.

"But is it true?" Maleficent asked from behind her smirk.

"Of course it isn't!" The affronted woman cried out.

"Well something has got you all riled up." Maleficent fired back.

"It was the smug way the damned mirror said it. Like he enjoyed showing me she was awake, that she was happy and had beaten my curse. It was like he was goading me!"

"I remember that mirror, Baba Yaga enchanted it and the man inside it." Maleficent mentioned. "He can only show you or tell you the truth. So maybe there is something to his observation after all My Friend?"

She was needling and all three women round the table knew it. TQ just glowered at the woman opposite her.

Maleficent wasn't giving up though, "You said you felt sick. Maybe that was jealousy or envy at seeing her with a young and virile stallion of a Prince between her legs and bringing her pleasure?" The dragon was all teeth as she smiled at her friend's obvious discomfort.

"That has nothing to do with it!" Indignation colored her face and the tone of her words.

Ursula had sat back and was watching the exchange between her two friends. Now her stomach had been satisfied a smug smile graced her rounded face. She liked an animated conversation as long as she wasn't the one being baited and teased.

The silence span out for a few minutes, the women studying each other after the heated exchange.

TQ finally gritted out from between her clenched teeth, "We are not doing this." The cloaked woman then downed her drink and looked away.

She muttered, "I thought that at least you two would understand." And she hung her head as she tried to order her thoughts, unable to see why this amused the other women at the table so much.

"I am not discussing my sex life with you two." She finally huffed out.

"So there is a sex life?" Maleficent probed, jumping straight back on the band wagon.

The Queen banged her head on the wood of the table, a frustrated breath coming from between her lips. She had been caught, either answer would re-start a conversation she didn't want to have.

"No, there isn't." She mumbled.

"So the mirror could be right." The horned woman summed up.

"No the mirror is not right! I worked hard to get myself into the castle and married to the King. I put up with his pawing at me, I played mother to the child. I sat by his side and lied through my teeth about his intelligence, his kindness and fairness as a ruler and about my love of him. I will not let that be in vain and allow his undeserving heir to take it all from me! That is why I am stressed and angry."

With a wave of her hand there was a loud thump on the table and Maleficent produced the psychology book she had recently been reading.

"This might help with your issues." She offered with a wolfish smile.

"I am not reading that!"

"Maybe I should have magicked a sex toy instead?" If it was possible Maleficent's grin grew bigger.

"Oh shut up!" TQ reached over the table and grabbed the book, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

The horned woman wasn't giving up though.

"Have you thought that maybe you might be happier and more relaxed if you weren't full of anger and bitterness?"

"Jesus that book has a lot to answer for." TQ muttered.

"I am just saying it is hard to be happy when your heart is full of hatred." Maleficent tried again to reason with her friend.

"My heart isn't full of hatred. Bitterness, yes, because all I ever wanted was for life to be fair. How is it she has had every opportunity, never had to fight for anything. Snow White has grown up thinking the world is full of unicorns, rainbows, wishes that come true. She thinks everyone is beautiful, honest and that love and kisses will make everything all right in the end. She is so deluded but life never seems to correct her. I don't understand why she is special or so lucky. How is that fair?"

"So you are saying this is about revenge and punishment?" The dragon lady asked. "About teaching her a life lesson?"

"Yes I suppose it is." TQ nodded as she mulled it over. "But don't you think lecturing me about that is a little hypocritical?" TQ smiled as she felt the conversation finally moving away from her problems and she got a chance to shine the spot-light on her horned friend.

"I don't know what you mean." Maleficent argued.

"Oh please, there is a whole land asleep because you wanted revenge." And there was the blunt honesty they always shared.

Maleficent answered, "I have history with her father."

"So you are punishing him then?" TQ fired back.

Ursula hadn't said a word in several minutes, but her head kept swinging between the two waring women. She knew neither of them would seriously lose their tempers, but this what they did, they provoked and probed at each other's motives and it made them feel alive.

Maleficent stopped to take a breath and calm things, she had to admit to herself there was the strong smell of hypocrite surrounding her. So a silence hung between the three ladies while they digested things.

Ursula was the first to break it, trying to take the topic away from the arguing women.

"I think I'm more of an opportunist than dealing out revenge." She smiled wide at her companions.

"Really?" twin echoes of incredulity from across the table.

"Yes, I don't search out pets, they come willingly to me. I offer a service. A trade."

"But you always stack the deck." The Queen said.

"Well yes, otherwise it wouldn't be fun." The larger woman added with a wink.

They all laughed at that, because there was nothing else to say. They liked to win, they were competitive. They enjoyed playing games and also perversifying the rules, twisting words and meanings. It was what they were good at and there was no point denying their true nature's when they were with each other.

After the laughter died away and a refill of drinks Ursula produced a deck of cards. Where on her skin tight wardrobe she had secreted them no-one wanted to ask.

"Texas hold 'em?" She asked and the other two nodded.

Ursula dealt the cards, the two hole cards each which they only bet a coin a piece on and then the five central cards. As each card was turned over each woman was only staking a single coin, weary of the other two she was playing and not willing to bet big.

They had agreed to play without cheating, but all three women could feel the magic brewing in the air between them. None of the women even moved when the five middle cards turned out to be a royal flush of ten through to the ace of diamonds.

"Really?" TQ asked of Ursula, who just shrugged nonchalantly.

"I think this is a bad idea." Maleficent indicated the cards before them and Ursula sighed and gathered the cards back in to shuffle and deal them over.

"Fine" She huffed, "Five card draw then, we work with what we are dealt."

She passed out five cards to each of them and then raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Full house, Kings and Aces." TQ said, laying her cards down.

"Four of a kind." Maleficent laid down her four aces, TQ and Ursula rolling their eyes, as suddenly the pack of cards had seven aces in it.

"Honestly Maleficent." TQ said, "If you are going to cheat at least make it realistic."

"You're just upset my hand beats yours." Maleficent shot back.

"Only on the surface." TQ commented and she passed her hand over the cards and the glamour fell away revealing a pair of twos and some other worthless cards.

"Oh dear." Ursula smiled as she laid down her cards, four Kings and a joker. "Five of a kind. And no glamour."

"But still cheating." Maleficent looked rather pointedly at the larger woman. "I could feel you manipulating the cards as you dealt them."

Ursula looked at her two friends and shrugged, "We all cheated, it seems we are incapable of playing fairly."

TQ nodded, admitting her guilt. No-one had reached over to claim the money as a winner at least.

"Maybe that is why we can never win at life?" Maleficent mused. "Cheaters never prosper and only heroes win and all that moral, mortal nonsense they drone on about."

Ursula rolled her eyes at more "psychobabble" spilling from her friend's lips.

"But you are winning." TQ said, "Both of you. Ursula has her empire where she always profits from a deal, her exchanges benefit her and her collection of personal keepsakes grow. She even admitted she is happy earlier."

TQ shook her head, "And you have the whole land sleeping, none of them will bother you again. You have what you wanted, what you aimed for. It is only my sleeping curse that has been broken, only myself who is still waiting for some justice from life."

She sipped thoughtfully and then added, "In all likelihood Snow White and her Prince will come for her kingdom and then for my head. They will command the people to oppose my rule and take back the thrown with force. I am certainly not winning."

"So what are you going to do about it?" Ursula queried. "It sounds like you are ready to give up."

"No, not give up." TQ admitted. "But I need a fresh approach. Any ideas ladies?"

"Get laid?" Ursula suggested.

"How will that help?" TQ looked incredulously at the Sea Witch.

"Once satisfied your creative juices might start to flow again, as well at other juices." The woman licked her lips salaciously, grinning brightly.

"Oh do shut up Ursula." The Queen snapped.

Maleficent stared thoughtfully before adding, "It might not be the worst idea, something is obviously bothering you and blocking your creativity. If it isn't sexual frustration, what is it?"

"I don't know – I have no idea why I can't see a solution." TQ sighed in exasperation.

"May I suggest it is anger that is blinding you?" Maleficent reached out for her friend's hand. "Maybe you need to face that and deal with it. Please, read the book."

"Oh my God, give it a rest about that damned book!" both women chorused.

Maleficent pulled her hand back like she had been burnt. "Fine." she huffed.

"Look I appreciate your input and suggestions, but maybe Snow White is my problem, maybe I shouldn't have brought it up."

Silence descended as the three women mulled things over. After a few moments Maleficent suddenly brightened and lifted her head.

"What?" Ursula asked.

"You keep thinking Snow White is the problem."

"Yes, obviously. She has the power to de-thrown me." TQ agreed.

"Maybe you are the problem." The horned woman said.

"That's a bit harsh." Ursula commented as magic sparked from TQ's hands as she visibly bristled with anger at the horned woman's summation.

"No, let me explain." Maleficent then carried on speaking to detail, "Will punishing Snow White and her Prince make you happy?"

"Yes." The reply was solid. And magic still sparked from The Queen's hands but it was waning.

"But how can your happiness rely on someone else? We are powerful women, our happy endings shouldn't be in the hands of others. We are in control of our own destiny, and it should be you that dictates your happy ending. So I'll ask you again, where does your happy ending lie?"

Ursula was nodding at this. "Punishing Snow White, that will be fleeting happiness. What else do you want than her suffering, you can't be so short sighted that that is your only goal in life."

TQ extinguished her magic, thinking about this. She knew what she wanted, she had tried money and power and both had left her feeling empty. She wanted real love, a chance at happiness, a fair shot in a world where her intelligence and hard work were recognized and rewarded despite her being a woman. She wanted more than she was ever going to get in this land.

The other women saw the light of realization dawn in her eyes, saw the idea take form and a real smile spread slowly across her features.

"A fresh start." She whispered.

"Then let us help you with that." Ursula grinned back at her friend as Maleficent nodded. They raised their glasses and toasted to that, enjoying the rest of their evening filled with throat burning booze, trivial banter and more bad tasting potato chips.


Some of you might think I stole Once's idea here, but if I get round to uploading a later chapter you'll see I have a greater idea at work. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed it. All the best.