Hello, world! Inukagomefan, here, reporting live at her desk! Asuna made me make rules for everyone to follow, so prepare for the coup of the century!
Rule Number 1: Is that you gotta have fun!(Using only song quotes to talk is annoying and uncool)
(Nobody could even understand each other, it was just too funny!)
(But I got in BIG trouble when I convinced Kirito to quote a breakup song with Asuna in the same room.)
(Why he actually did it, no idea. But now my crotch hurts…. ;-;)
(Well, Kirito is probably in the ER, so I guess I can't complain.)
Rule Number 2: Asuna death fanfictions are to be made in private rooms, not in public.
(Well, I guess I deserved what happened.)
(So, I was writing my story "Strike The Clock" when I had to do my homework.
(I put down the story, and when I come back, it's gone!)
(Guess who found out?)
(Silica. Out. Of. All. People.)
(She told Klien, Klien told Liz, Liz told Suguha, Suguha told Sinon, and Sinon told Kirito.)
(Asuna wasn't in-game, so I thought I was off the hook, but Kirito had other plans.)
(HE TEXTED HER. FREAKING TEXTED HER.
(Now I can't even look at her without Kirito getting all fussy and defensive.)
(Maybe it has to do with the fact that I told him that it was what happened in the future.)
(I can be so evil sometimes. :D)
Rule Number 3: Birthday parties are banned at Asuna's house
(It takes ONE slip-up by yours truly to ban this.)
(It's a long story…..)
Rule Number 4: Only Argo can call Kirito Kiri. Only Asuna can call Kirito Kirito-Kun. Only Little-Bolt(One of my Oc's, really shy robot cat made out of cardboard) can call him Kazuto-San.
(Argo was not amused, Asuna was offended, Little-Bolt was flustered, and Kirito was confused.)
(What a blockhead.)
Rule Number 5: Using blackmail is mean and not nice.
(Ha! As if that would stop anybody!)
(I have so much blackmail of Kirito and Asuna that I could go on with a list of what I recorded.)
(Asuna: Stella….)
(Stop hacking my computer! I was Jking!)
(Asuna: I'm just checking what you type.)
(Well, stop! It's creepy!)
Rule Number 6: Know who my Oc's are.
(Libra Orion is a yellow smilodon with black spots and a long tail)
(His good traits are Bravery, Cheerful, Understanding, Encouraging, and Passion)
(The issue with the last one is that his passion is lemons.)
(And I don't mean the fruit, oh no I'm not.)
(I mean the STORY. And COMICS.)
(Bad Traits of Libra Orion: Perverted, Hemophobic, can be a bit of a blockhead, will stand up for his ships and declare shipping wars, etc.)
Rule Number 7: Couples, please check what room you're in before doing the stuff like couples do.)
(KIRITO AND ASUNA, THIS MEANS YOU!)
(Me and Libra Orion and Sonic The Werehog and Kirito and Asuna were on vacation.)
(So me and my group went out to a nearby water park.)
(I opened the door, only see said couple….. Well, you know…...)
(I swear Libra Orion's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.)
(They continued without even noticing us for who knows how long)
(We stood there until Asuna saw us. She screamed, then I screamed, and then there was a screaming contest of epic proportions.)
(Nevertheless, we were kicked out of the hotel, because once I explained what was going on, the manager pointed to a sign painted in ugly neon green with a purple background.)
(NO FLUFF ALLOWED IN THIS HOTEL)
(Their shame could be sensed miles away.)
(Asuna now looks away whenever she sees me, and Kirito has been giving me the silent treatment.)
(Well, I don't give crap, because those two are just shameless!)
(Asuna: I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T MENTION THIS!)
(Kazuto:...)
Rule Number 8: Panty thief will NOT be tolerated!
(God dammit, whoever is it, stop taking them!)
(Though, it was funny when a random piece of underwear smacked Asuna in the butt)
(Hoo boy! Her eyes went ga-ga with shock! Me and Kirito almost died of laughter.)
(We have yet to find the culprit.)
Rule Number 9: When using sparklers, be aware of your surroundings.
(O.M.G I will never let Kirito hear the end of this.)
(Asuna was tossing around sparklers to celebrate the Fourth of July.)
(When I may or may not have shoved her to make her let go of the sparkler.)
(It was sent flying into the air…)
(Right into Kirito's pants.)
("Hey, does something feel-YEARG!")
(Pretty soon laughter filled the air as Asuna put out the fire.)
(But that soon turned into pure horror.)
(It had burned off his underwear.)
(Lord, PLEASE get those mind-scarring images out of my head!)
Rule Number 10: Kicking a male in the junk is now banned anywhere near Silica.
(What? Girl is too innocent to see that sight!)
(But it's FUN seeing Kirito's face and hearing his high-pitched squeal...)
(Kazuto:...)
(STOP HACKING MY COMPUTER!)
Rule Number 11: Youtube is banned.
(I'm so angry at Sinon!)
(All I wanted to do was to watch Asuna's death scene in the first SAO season.)
(But guess who was spying on me?)
(After she told our famous couple, they wanted to ban youtube.)
(Of course, being a fair-minded person, I peacefully protested.)
(Klien: YOUR idea of peaceful is screaming your head off and chasing people.)
(What is with people hacking my computer?!)
(So after I calmed down, there was a voting.)
(Everyone voted, with Klien, Me, Sonic and Libra Orion on keeping Youtube.)
(Asuna, Kirito, Sinon, and their parents voted no youtube.)
(So now how am I going to watch my Asuna death scenes?!)
(And I have a youtube account!)
(Libra Orion: There's always netflix….)
(NOT THE SAME, LIBRA ORION!)
Rule Number 12: Libra Orion, no showing lemons.
(NO CAPTION NEEDED, ALL IT TAKES IS ONE TIME!)
Rule Number 13: Pornhub is BANNED.
(My search history was hideous!)
(Asuna's scream could be heard for miles.)
Rule Number 14: POKEMON!
(Once I started singing, it was just like the 2000's.)
(Even KIRITO started singing!)
Rule Number 15: Taylor Swift is banned from playing at Asuna's place.
(I knew something was up when Sinon disappeared randomly at a group talk at Asuna's.)
(One moment, it's quiet, the next, Shake It Off is playing at full volume.)
(It got tiring real quick. That's all it played for the next 2 hours.)
(Finally, Sonic had enough, and proceeded to smash the intercom.)
(That poor intercom… D:)
