She whispers that she loves him one night while they lie in bed.

He doesn't respond.

She pretends it's because he's asleep.

.

Here's how it starts.

He kisses her in the janitors closet one day when Jade's not at school.

She lets him because she's always sort of wanted him to want her.

.

"I thought you loved Jade?" she murmurs one day while they walk home from school, hands touching slightly.

He looks at her, a perplexed expression on his face. "I do," he says lacing his fingers through hers.

.

The first time they're alone in his RV they fuck.

And it's all-wrong because the sheets smell like Jade.

"That was my first time," she whispers once they've finished and he's pulling a shirt over his head.

"Oh," he says and she wishes he'd said anything other than that.

She walks home that night because she doesn't want him to see her cry.

.

She runs up to him in the hallway. "I had a dream about you last night."

He laughs. "Oh yeah? Was it dirty?" She shakes her head and he smiles wider. "Tell me about it."

Before she can say anything Jade's hooking her arm through his, and dragging him away.

He turns around and mouths the word sorry at her.

But he's smiling and she doesn't really believe him.

.

"Sometimes," she says quietly while they lay tangled up in her bed. "I wish it was just us."

He leans in so that he's mumbling the words against her lips. "Me too."

They've gotten as far as taking of their shirts, when his phone vibrates.

"Don't look at it," she begs.

He ignores her and a few seconds later he's putting his shirt back over his head.

"I'm so sorry Tori, I want to stay it's just-"

She doesn't want to hear the rest so she kisses him on the cheek. "This is how it is Beck," she whispers.

He doesn't say another word just walks out the door.

She wonders if she'll ever be strong enough to be the one leaving him behind.

.

She sees them the moment she walks into the bathroom because they're Jade and Beck and they don't bother to close the stall doors.

"Tori, what the fuck? Could you give us a little privacy?" Jade screams crossing her arms over her black bra.

She tries to think of something to say but nothing comes out. "Sorry," she finally stutters before running out.

She can hear Jade's cruel laughter following her down the halls.

She calls home sick and when her mother puts her hand on her forehead and asks her what hurts the only thing that she can think to say is, "everything."

.

He calls her that night and begs her to come over.

She goes because she's so ridiculously in love with him that it's impossible to say no.

They don't talk about any of it.

Instead they just fuck.

And somehow that's so much easier then talking.

.

They go to a park and he holds her hand and kisses her and the people passing by smile and point and tell them they're perfect.

She wishes they could be like that forever.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you," she mumbles and she thinks he might say it back and make everything even more perfect.

Instead he drops her hand and tells her it's time to leave.

.

She goes to Beck's RV one Saturday morning without calling.

Instead of finding Beck she finds a half dressed Jade sitting on his bed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jade demands.

"Nothing, school project that's all."

"He's not here," she says fiercely. "Now get out."

She's about to leave when Jade calls out her last name.

"He won't choose you," Jade smirks. "He'll never leave me. You're dumber then I thought if you actually believed that."

She doesn't bother to close the door to the RV.

She runs all the way home and no matter how many times she sings make it shine she can't convince herself that things are okay.

.

He slams her against the wall of the janitor's closet.

And her lips are on his and his kisses are rough and needy.

And she's taking off his shirt and his hands are wandering all over her body.

She tries not to think about how she might not be the one on his mind.

.

"If you love Jade so much," she mutters softly. "Then why are we doing this?"

She doesn't really want to hear the answer.

And she never does.

He just shakes his head and says he doesn't know.

.

They graduate and he holds her hand when their friends aren't looking.

"I love you so much," she whispers.

This time he doesn't let go of her hand just squeezes it tighter.

"I know," he says smiling weakly. "I'm sorry."

He lets go of her hand and walks over to Jade, just like she knew he would.

.

Here's how it ends.

He moves to New York with Jade.

She lets him because she always kind of knew it would end like it did.

.

Okay so it's my first time writing for Beck and Tori. Personally I'm more of a Beck and Jade fan. But I love both. Seriously how could anybody not love Tori? She's just downright adorable and sweet. And her and Beck are cute together (Don't rip my head off Bade fans). Anyway I'm really sorry that this completely sucks. It's really awful and they're both out of character. And this story sucks and I'm really sorry. Anyway please review, tell me what you think. Suggestions are always appreciated.