Back To December

"I'm so glad you made time to see me.

How's life? Tell me how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while.

You've been good, busier than ever,

We small talk, work in the weather,

Your guard is up and I know why.

Because the last time you saw me

Is burned in the back of your mind.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die."

December 2015

I nervously walk up to your door. This is it. I raise my hand to knock on the door, but I pause briefly. I almost back away. I almost turn around and run away, just like I did two years ago. But a wave of courage flows through me and I knock, even though my mind is saying 'don't do it, he doesn't want to see you.' I anxiously wait for you to answer the door. Then finally you do and our eyes meet for the first time in two years. Gray on green. That wave of courage left as quickly as it had come. We just stand there. Not knowing what to do or say. But then I shiver and you realize how cold it is.

"Do you want to come in?" You ask. I smile half heartedly and follow you into your house. The same house we had planned on buying together, the same house we planned on fixing together. Looks like you kept your end of our promises.

After what seemed like a lifetime of awkward silence, you speak.

"Well, how are you?"

"I'm fine, I guess. I got accepted into the architecture program in Cali. How are you?"

"Good. I'm studying to be a marine biologist." I smile at that. It was always your dream to become a marine biologist. You wanted to study right here in New York and you did.

"Um, how are Sally and Poseidon? I haven't seen them in a while."

"My mom and dad are great. They adopted a little boy, Tyson. You would love him Wise G—"Your guard is up and I know why.

"Why are you here, Annabeth?"

"These days I haven't been sleeping,

Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.

When your birthday passed and I didn't call.

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,

I watched you laughing from the passenger side.

Realized I loved you in the fall."

Summer 2013

"Well Seaweed Brain, you did it. You graduated high school!" I said as I jumped on your back so you could give me a piggy back ride.

"Yeah, well, having a Wise Girl as a best friend kept me from failing." You murmur. I playfully slap your head.

"You know you love me." I stated as I lean down and kissed your cheek. I could've sworn I saw you blush. But I shrugged it off. You put me down as we reach your car. I take off my cap and gown and lay it in the back of the car and get in.

We drive to your house. The whole fifteen minute consists of your very loud, very off key singing and my uncontrollable laughter. I looked over at you as you sing. You were always the carefree one in our friendship. You always knew how to make me laugh, even on my worst days. I watched your ink black hair blow in the wind as we drove along the roads to your house. A house I could basically call my own because I was there so much. I turned my attention back to the side of the road. I notice that the old Maynard house is up for sale.

"Perce, look!" I said as I pointed to the house. You knew how much I adored the house and how much I wanted to remodel the house myself. You pulled off the road and into the driveway of the old house.

The Maynard house was an old two story house with white sides and gray shudders. The house was old and run down, but I saw the potential it had. No one had lived in the house for years and I've always wanted to buy the house. It was my dream house.

"Oh my gods, Seaweed Brain, do you know what this means?"

"Bet your going to tell me." You stated.

"It means that I can eventually buy the house! Just like I've always planned. I can remodel it and redesign the entire inside of the house. The house will be the envy of everyone in the neighbor hood. Then after college I can start my family here and watch my children grow up here!" I said excitedly.

"And where do I fit into all of this? Did you just forget about your best friend?"

"Well of course not, Seaweed Brain!" I said as I wrapped my arm around you and place my other hand on my hip. I could feel you starring at me. I looked up and smiled. "What?" I asked

"Nothing it's just I love y—I love when you talk about your plans and dreams, Wise Girl." We had been friends for ten years at this point and we claimed to know each other so well, that we could basically know when the other was about to do something. But what you did that night, I never could've saw coming. You kissed me. It was a slow gentle kiss. Before I knew what was happening I closed my eyes and responded to the kiss. You pulled away slowly. You looked in my eyes and tried to figure out what I was thinking.

"All of those dreams, all of those plans, Wise Girl, I won't let you go after them alone. Promise."

I smiled at you and I leaned up so I could kiss you again.

The rest of the summer we spent almost every waking minute with each other. We were crazy about each other. Our summer was spent laughing and being genuinely happy. By the end of June, we were never seen out without one another. People said we were crazy, but looking back on it now, I think that we were just in love and didn't realize it.

That fall we started college together. Even though we weren't around each other was much, we were still crazy about each other. That fall is when I realized that I loved you.

We were sitting in Central Park under our favorite tree. You were watching the pond and the leaves fall, while I laid my head on your lap and read. I looked up at you. You were so peaceful in that moment. Your tanned skin was radiating from the fall sun and you had your head back looking up at the clouds. You looked down at me and gave me your signature smile. In that moment I realized that I was in love with you.

"What is it Wise Girl?" You asked with a grin on your face. I looked into your eyes and found the courage I needed to say what I was about to say.

"I love you." You looked shocked at first. And then you sat me up so I was facing you. You had a wild look in your eyes. A look that contained joy, excitement and… love.

"I love you, Wise Girl. I always have. Ever since the day I met you when we were kids." I smiled at you and kissed you sweet lips passionately. I never wanted to let you go.

December 2015

"Why are you here, Annabeth?" Your words were ringing in my mind for a minute.

"I've been thinking a lot lately. About you and about us."

"Annabeth—"

"When your birthday passed this year, I started to think. I thought about that summer, I think about all of the beautiful times we had together." I couldn't look you in the eyes then. I knew if I did, then I would cry and I couldn't cry when I was about to say what I came here to say.

"And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was

'Goodbye'."

December 2013

By the time the cold came our love for each other grew, but as that love grew, fear crept into my mind. I had learned of an architectural program that was in California. I knew I would have a better chance of getting into the program if I attended the school that it was based off of. I had to choose between my love of architecture and my dreams and you. What I didn't realize was that my dreams couldn't come true unless you were right there with me the entire way.

So I applied to the school in California, not thinking that I would get in second semester. That's why I was so surprised when I got an acceptance letter in the mail. Getting accepted was nothing compared to telling you.

You were sitting in your dorm studying. Your roommate had let me in. I walked up to you and wrapped my arms around you and kissed your cheek. You turned around with a huge grin on your face. But you knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong Annabeth?" You asked with concern.

"I—I um, applied for that school, the one in Cali." I said looking anywhere but your eyes.

"And?"

"I got in Perce. And I am going to California after this semester." You didn't say a word for a while. You just looked at me.

"Don't I get a say in this!?" You exclaimed.

"Percy, this is my future we are talking about! This is everything I've ever wanted!"

"What about what we wanted?"

"Don't you want this for me?" I asked. I hoped that you would say yes so I wouldn't have felt it was my fault for going, but yours. When you didn't answer right away, I thought I had my answer. That was the last time I saw you.

I avoided you for a week and when the first semester was finally over that week I wasted no time packing. As I was driving my car away from the dorm I saw you walk into my old dorm hall with flowers. I cried as I drove away. I told myself that I was driving towards my future, but really I was driving away from my fears and my love.

"So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you saying, 'I'm sorry for that night.'

And I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you where mine.

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my

Own mind

I go back to December all the time."

December 2015

"Annabeth, what are you saying?" You ask

"What I'm saying is that this is me, swallowing my pride, saying I'm sorry for that night." My eyes finally meet yours and you have a look of disbelief. "I keep replaying what happened two years ago, I keep going back to that day. I thought that leaving you would give me freedom, but I realized that freedom means missing you. I love you Percy and I'd wished I realized just how much when you where mine. If I could Perce, I go back to December and change my mind. But I can't."

You don't say anything for a while. You just sit there and stare at me like I'm a ghost from the past. Which, in a way, I guess I am.

"I miss you tanned skin, your sweet smile,

So good to me, so right.

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry.

September 2013

You barged into my room. When you saw me on my bed crying you immediately wrapped your arms around me in a warm embrace. You had never seen me cry before. Never, after years of friendship, had you seen me cry. But as soon as you heard about my grandmother passing away you knew I would take it hard. So you came. You came and you comforted me for hours.

When I woke up the next morning you still held me. When I moved just the tiniest bit, you woke up. You looked into my eyes to try to figure out what I was feeling. I gave you a half-hearted smile that you gladly returned.

The following week you barely left my side. I was scared that I might break down again. But I didn't. Every time I came close to breaking down you were there with a bright smile and a warm embrace. Suddenly I didn't feel like crying anymore.

December 2015

I miss those days. I miss everything about you really. I miss your bright smile, your tanned skin, your warm embraces, your ability to make me laugh at any given moment, everything. But most of all, I miss loving you.

"Maybe this is wishful thinking,

Probably mindless dreaming,

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

"Percy? Please say something." I begged almost in tears.

"I—I don't know what to say, Annabeth. You left. You left without a word. And that hurt. I loved you and you left."

"I know. And I know that coming back after two years and apologizing isn't going to magically fix what happened. But, I had to try. I know that it was just wishful thinking to come here and think we could pick right back up where we left off. And I know you probably hate me and I don't blame you. But I want you to know that if we loved again, I'd love you right. I wouldn't leave."

"I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.

So if the chain is on your door I understand."

"Percy, I love you. I never stopped loving you." I got up and walked over to you placing a kiss on the top of your head. Right before I walked out of the front door I turned around to face you one last time.

"I really would go back in time and change what I did Percy." With that I closed the door and wiped a tear from my cheek. I began my walk to my car believing that I would never see you again.

"But, this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you saying, 'I'm Sorry for that night'.

And I go back to December…

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind."

"Annabeth!" You yelled. I turned around slowly to make sure that I wasn't just imagining things. But, I wasn't. You were running towards me. I couldn't move. I didn't know what was about to happen and not knowing things scares me.

"Percy?" I ask. You stop right in front of me. We were nose to nose.

"I made the mistake of letting you go one time Wise Girl. I'm not doing it again." Then you leaned in a kissed me. At first I was shocked. Then I responded to the kiss with so much passion. I wrapped my arms around your neck and run my hands through your hair, while you pick me up and spin me around as we were still kissing. I smiled against your mouth and you slowly put me down.

"I'm so sorry Seaweed Brain. I—was stupid. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I let you go." You shook your head.

"I love you, Annabeth. I never stopped." I smile and kissed you again.

"I love you too." I knew that this December would be one I could never forget.

"I go back to December all the time.

All the time."

"Back to December" by Taylor Swift

A/N: I already missed writing after only a couple of days, so I decided to write a songfic. I hope you all liked it! Please tell me what you think and I am still trying to come up with a good idea for a new fanfic! If you have any thoughts, let me know!

-lakota33