Disclaimer: I own nothing. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't be mourning Sirius.


I'm sure there was a time when this was our lives. We couldn't think of anything better then helping out Lily and James. Harry was young and uncomplicated. They went into hiding, and we began to doubt. We were scared; we suddenly realized this wasn't Quidditch. This was really, and people were going to die. And they did. That night, you didn't come to me. I knew what it meant. I could easily believe the lies the papers wrote about you. I was betrayed and distressed.

Then I found out the truth. The world was sadly perfect. Lily and James were gone, Peter was a betrayer, and we were left behind. The remains of the fire that was the Marauders. But we had each other, and for the moment that was enough. Then you died. You feel through the veil into eternal happiness. You'd be with James and Lily, you know. But it hurts so much. I miss you, I miss you so badly. You were the one Harry liked the most, and I just can't understand him. He's not complicated anymore. He grew up. So did we.

Remus stared at the dying fire, the glass of wine hanging limp in his hand. He shouldn't be drinking, Molly would find out and he'd get it tomorrow, but right now he didn't care. It was the agony of it, the pain of being strong for Harry. He just couldn't keep it up anymore. He needed a break, a break that would be drink tonight.

"Remus?" Remus turned lazily in his seat. Harry's green orbs stared at him. Remus opened his arms and soon found them full. He didn't know what to say, but Harry was old enough not to need words. Remus could finally see what they were putting Harry through. Expectations that he filled by losing those he loved weren't fair. He was too young for this. They were being the cruel ones. Voldermort may have caused them to die, but they were the ones that made him get up again and fight on.

But now it didn't matter. Now they had time to mourn for themselves, for their friends lost, for everything that had happened. They didn't move for a very long time. They didn't move till Remus put out the embers of the flame. Remus wondered vaguely what circumstances would force their flames to be put out. They were already close to being embers; it wasn't much longer was it. But that's what they needed to decide.


A/N: Please review. It makes me feel happy.