The Real Harry Potter [Edited Lyrics]

May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

I repeat, will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a scar before

Jaws all on the floor like Voldemort just burst in the door

And started torturing Lucius Malfoy worse than before

He first was disarmed thrown across the floor (Malfoy's scream)

It's the return of the...

"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,

he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"

And Lucius said...

Nothing you idiots! Malfoy's dead, he's locked in my basement!

(Ha-ha!)

"Girls love Potter

Chicka chicka chicka Harry Potter,Voldemort? I'm sick of him

Look at him, walking around abusing poor Harry

Flipping at him, yeah, but Harry's so cute though"

Yeah, I probably got a couple of plugs up in my head loose

But no worse than what's going on in Snape's potions class

Sometimes, I wanna get in the book and just let loose, but can't

But it's cool for Draco Malfoy to be a dead moose

"My scar is on your lips, my scar is on your lips"

And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss

And that's the message that I deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a dementor is

Of course they gonna know what Wormtail is

By the time they hit fourth year

They got the Daily Prophet don't they?

"We ain't nothing but blast-ended-skrewts"

Well, that stupid niffler Draco Malfoy

Who cuts other people open like the Giant Squid

Deserves to be shot

But if we can open up dead animals and antelopes

Then there's no reason that Harry can't blast Voldemort into tiny wisps of smoke

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Ginny wave your HP flag, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Mad-eye don't gotta flirt in office to get a job

Well I do so "rag him and rag you too!"

You think I care about a 'Witch Weekly most charming smile award'?

Half of you critics can't even think let alone stand me

"But Harry, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"

Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here

So you can sit me here next to the Weird sisters?

Rats, Celestina Warbeck better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Viktor Krum and Fluer Delacour

And hear them argue over who she kissed first

You little villian, put me on blast on WWN

"Yeah, Ron's cute, but I think he's married to Hermione, hee-hee"

I should download an audio on MP3 and show the whole world

how you gave MAlfoy -(Malfoy's scream)

I'm sick of you little death eaters

All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who yell like me; who just don't give a d**n like me

Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me

And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you

Things you joke about with your friends inside your Common room

The only difference is I got the guts to say it

In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or bertie botts every flavour beans coated at all

I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it

I just said it better than 90 percent of you trolls out there

Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Chocolate Frogs

It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 21

I'll be the only person in St. Mungo's flirting

smiling at nurses when I'm drinking Hagrid's mead

And I'm jerkin' but this whole tankard of butterbeer isn't working

And every single person is a Harry Potter lurking

He could be working at The Three broomsticks spitting on your gillywater

Or in the quidditch pitch, circling, screaming "I don't care!"

With his windows down and too bad they got none

So, will the real Potter please stand up?

And put one of those wands in your hand up?

And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just imitating

So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha

Guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us

Sod it, let's all stand up