Disclaimer: Josh Schwartz & FOX own the O.C. not me. And I don't own Scars either, that belongs to Papa Roach.

Chapter 1: I Tear My Heart Open

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It felt like it had been happening all her life, when in reality it had only been a short amount of time. In the back of her mind there were memories of better times, when her mother was around and her father was happy. When her mother left when she was nine, her father began to drink every night. It continued for a few years; he would go to work, come home late at night drunk, and go to bed. She was ignored and he seemed to have forgotten she existed.

Then he met Bridget. Neil married her and seemed to become happy. The drinking had stopped and he became a loving person again. He paid attention to her again and acted like the father she thought she had lost.

Then, early this summer, Bridget died during an experimental surgery. Her dad went back to drinking, but this time it was even worse. At the start it was just him being a bit rough with her. Then it turned into full-out beatings. He started drinking even more every night, sometimes he wouldn't even come home. When he did, she just tried to make herself as scarce as possible. He would usually come for her, finding her hiding in her room, and use her as a release for his anger.

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She woke up in the middle of the night, on the floor of her bedroom, head throbbing with pain. She reached her hand up to touch her face and found blood on her fingers when she pulled her arm back. The events of earlier came rushing back to her:

Summer heard the front door open downstairs and the sound of her father's heavy footsteps walking up the stairs. She quickly ran to the closet and closed the door. The door opened and Summer held her breath, hoping her father would think she was out.

"Summer!" she heard him call.

Summer sat down against the wall and closed her eyes. He was drunk; she could tell by the way he had said her name. 'Please don't find me," she prayed. It seemed like God wasn't on her side that night, because Neil Roberts then opened the closet door, revealing Summer crouched in the corner.

"There you are Summer. Trying to hide are you?"

Summer stayed silent. She figured if she didn't disagree, maybe he wouldn't get angry. It hadn't worked other times, but there's always a first. This wasn't it. Neil grabbed his daughter by the hair and dragged her out of the closet. He threw her to the ground.

"Daddy, please," Summer whimpered, trying to plead with him, as she did every time he was like this. That never worked either.

"You made your mother leave you little bitch! She hated you! She never wanted you! It's your fault she left; it's your fault Bridget died!" Neil screamed at Summer and hit her across the face. Summer was used to these insults, it was always her fault. He always blamed her for things that she knew couldn't be her fault, yet he said they were. Her father pulled her back up, only to throw her back down again. This time, Summer hit her head on her dresser before hitting the floor.

She couldn't handle this anymore. Life was terrible. Seth had sailed away, Ryan had gone back to Chino and Marissa was drowning herself in self-pity. She had no-one to run to. She needed someone. She needed Seth and he wasn't here. The summer was coming to an end, and he wasn't here. She had handled this on her own for two months, and now she had reached her breaking point.

She was upset and angry. She screamed as loudly as she could. She picked up her hairbrush and threw it as hard as she could against her mirror and watched as it shattered into thousands of little pieces. She couldn't help thinking that the mirror was like her life – one second it was perfect and in an instant it can become an ugly mess. She let out another ear-piercing scream and dropped face down onto her bed. She started to cry into her pillow.

She lifted her head and looked towards the pieces of glass on the floor. She hadn't cut in years; not since she was thirteen and thought the smallest things were the end of the world. She dropped to her knees on the floor and picked up a sharp piece of her mirror. Rolling up her sleeve, she revealed a line of faint, small scars. She put the piece of mirror onto her arm, but hesitated. She held it there for a moment, not applying pressure before she took it off her arm and threw it against the wall. She wasn't going to start that again.

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It was the first day of school. Summer looked into the mirror, at the ugly gash on her cheek courtesy of Neil Roberts. She got out her make-up and began to expertly apply it, doing her best to cover up the cut. She hadn't left her room much over the summer, and she had become a lot paler and skinnier than she had been before. She stared into the mirror. School was going to be hell, but it had to be better than home.

Summer walked out the front door of her house, wearing jeans and a long-sleeved top to cover the bruises on her body. She arrived at school, and made her way over to Coop, who she saw wasn't looking much better than her. Marissa, who had always been too skinny, had gotten even thinner. She had dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks were gaunt. They didn't speak, and began walking along in silence. Summer stopped, not believing what she saw in front of her. Getting out of the back of a car was Ryan and Seth. Marissa had seen them too and was looking out in disbelief at the two boys who had begun to walk over to them.

"Summer…" Seth said softly once he had reached her.

"Cohen." Summer broke down and threw her arms around Seth, crying her eyes out as he tried to soothe her. She cried out her pain and hurt into Cohen. He was her someone. He was the one she needed.

I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

My weakness is

That I care too much

And my scars remind me

That the past is real

I tear my heart open

Just to feel…

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