Note: I'm using my brothers laptop the now and I don't like it. This story is a little bit inspired by a situation I went through when I was 16, it was one of the reasons I stopped writing for a while. It was pretty hard to get over, but I feel ready to write about it now. I usually don't write this much exposition and I don't expect you to understand it. That's a given.
::: Let it Go :::
I need some sleep, it can't go on like this. I tried counting sheep, but there's one I always miss. Everyone says I'm getting down too low. Everyone says you just gotta let it go.
-I need some Sleep by Eels-
It appeared like any other night. Raining lightly, pattering against the window, running down and landing on the windowsill. There was a still quiet in the air, only broken by the occasional passing car or mumble people people walking home. Nobody on the streets noticed the boy in the dark jacket walking through the streets. He was just another face in the crowd, just going about his business like any normal person. The only thing was that it was well past midnight and any child his age shouldn't have been out on his own.
He kept his head down. Walking slowly, his arms wrapped around his stomach as though he wanted to hide himself from the world around him. Wanting to slink away into the darkness and never come back again. The wind blew the rain into his face but he didn't flinch, almost not feeling the cold pinch of the November winds. But he did feel it, he just didn't want to admit it. After all, everything was always his fault and he didn't want that any more, he just wanted to feel whole again.
Turning a corner, he stops. Looks up and sighs. He continues walking, rain now being blown across his back. He shivers, the thin jacket he wears is not thick enough to protect himself from the elements but then again, he didn't really expect to be out at midnight. He knows he should be home, safe but even home isn't feeling like the safehaven it used to be. Things aren't the same there, an emptiness looms over the place that wasn't there before. A developing cold silence that mocks the inhabitants in a taunting glare that cannot be rid no matter how much time passes.
Gates squeak and gravel crunches under his worn trainers as he makes his way along the path. An empty, open space that is enveloped in it's own silence. One separate from the rest of the world, an eerie but oddly calming silence. Where a person could get lost in it just lost in their own thoughts, own memories, own past. The rain continues to fall, now dripping off the boys hood. The jacket is saturated turning from dark blue to black but he doesn't relent. Doesn't turn back. He keeps on walking. Determined he's going to make it this time. Times before, only making it to a point before turning and walking away. Vision blurred by tears. This time however there are no tears and if there is, they are mixed in with the rain. Undetectable by any onlooker.
The boy stops. He unwraps his arms from around his body. A small bouquet of flowers are grasped in his right hand. Slightly squashed but alive all the same. He stays quiet, the wind whistling creates it's own symphony for the moment. He bends down and places the flowers between two stones. He looks up. No smile plays across his face and his eyes are dead. From tiredness and from sadness. He doesn't say anything, just turns. Walks away and leaves the flowers there between two hospital issue graves. No fancy markings, no epitaph upon the dull stones. Just two names.
Johnny Cade. Dallas Winston.
Walking down the path, the boy sighs and begins the long walk home.
