Hellooo. Welcome all! Readers of my other stories and new readers are invited to this sparkly planet of oysters! Now, a story of mine that very popular right now is Nightmare. This being said, I'd like to let you all know that this story is absolutely NOTHING like that. This story is cracktastic and STRAIGHT AS AN EFFIN' RAINBOW. Tasty Gloves is also popular, if you read [and liked] that story, you should like this one too. So, my dear tasty cabbages…enjoy!
DEEZCLAMAAH-
This anime is, like, TOTALLY not mine!
THE EPIC ADVENTURES OF THE HETALIA HEROES!
Episode one:
"Holy shit! We gotz superpowers!"
"Ugh!" France made a face as he spit out the food he'd eaten. "England, you are not fit to make food for humans!" he yelled. "That was harsh!" Arthur shot back, sounding hurt, "Was it really that bad?" he asked. Francis scoffed, "To say it tasted bad would be an understatement, Angleterre." England glared at the Frenchman as his sadness suddenly turned into anger. With a gentlemanly growl, he tackled France to the floor, roughly grasping his neck. "Guhg…!" Francis chocked out in protest. "Shut up, Frog!" rasped England angrily. France shook his head, frustrated, and motioned toward the door. The Brit turned his head to see a confused, possibly terrified, America standing in the doorway.
"Uh…um…." America tried to think of what to say. England, on the other hand, thought of something instantaneously, "What the hell are you doing in my house?" America regained his composure, "Sorry, dude, just didn't know you and French Fry were an item…erm… I'll just—" "Wait…what?" England interrupted, sounding confused, he looked back down at France for a moment and realized the position they were in. The Frenchman noticed to and grinned, "honhonhon~" he laughed. "Ah! N-no!" Arthur jumped up quickly and began to run after the traumatized American, "NO NO NO! It's not like that! I swear!" "It's fine, bro." replied Alfred shakily, "I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway." England raised a finger in protest, "No! Ok, let me tell you what happened…"
A few minutes later….
"Your food sucks." America said flatly. "It was a different recipe…." replied England sadly. Alfred sighed, "How about you let a hero help you cook?" There was a moment of silence. "That sounds like a horrible idea." stated England. Alfred let out an obnoxious laugh, "Fine, dude, let France help you out then. You'd probably like that better anyway." He waved a gloved hand and began to leave. "Ack! I told you it wasn't like that!" Arthur yelled. The American continued walking toward the door. "Fine!" England yelled. Alfred stopped and turned his head, "Hm?" "Fine…" England repeated, "You can help me cook, but I'm only doing this to prove I'm not together with France."
America and England both hated each other's cooking, so they ended up both fighting over one bowl. America threw in a burger and poured in some soda and ice cream. England mixed in scones, crumpets, biscotti, and tea. Then, the two of them both ran for wooden spoons, fighting each other to stir. After that, they fought over who was going to put the dish in the oven. In the end they both shoved it in roughly, making a huge mess that England began to clean up. America, on the other hand, began to watch T.V. Eventually, Arthur joined him.
Ding!
Both countries glared at each other. "I guess it's done." America said in a low voice. "Indeed." replied England. Alfred began to slowly rise from his spot on the couch, Arthur did the same. In an instant, both nations were hauling ass to get to the oven. America flung it open and England grabbed their creation. Alfred stole it from him and slammed it on the table, "HA!" Arthur grimaced as he ran to grab plates, he slammed them both on the table in unison, nearly breaking them, "HA!" he shot back. America put food on each dish. "HA!" England grabbed the silverware. "HA!" Alfred and Arthur both began to shovel down the food hastily, uttering "HA" repeatedly as they did so.
Bleeeeeeeh~
America leaned over the toilet, a sickly look on his face. Arthur was nearby, grasping a small trash can. "I—guh told you this was a bad idea…git." said England. America, who was in too much pain to shoot back an egotistical comeback, simply replied, "Shut up."
England staggered to his feet, still holding the tiny trashcan from earlier. He wobbled out of the bathroom and continued towards the door. Upon reaching his destination, he grasped his stomach in pain. "Uh, America, could I keep this…?" he called out, holding up the trashcan. "S-sure, go for it." Alfred replied groggily. Arthur nodded and left.
It was not a pleasant ride home for England. Halfway home, the sickly Englishman filled up the tiny trash can, and apparently, flight attendants don't like that. Arthur realized this as he was exiting the plane when he noticed the dirty looks being shot at him. He sighed, feeling slightly better that he'd left the 'used' trashcan back in his seat; he had no need for it anymore anyway. If America wanted it back now, well, then he was disgusting.
England let out an exasperated sigh as he entered his home, "Guh… I feel so sick…." England complained. "Oh, did you eat that filth you fed me earlier, mon ami?" a voice replied. "Wha—? France, how long have you been here?!" exclaimed Arthur. "Ever since you left." France replied. "LEAVE!" England yelled, gesturing wildly toward the door. Francis put up his hands defensively as he stood up, he slowly took his leave. England slammed the door behind him. "Damn frog…." he grumbled. "First he insults my cooking. Then, he stays at my house and waits for me to come home just so he can insult it again!" Arthur felt himself becoming increasingly angry. "What kind of stupid, rude, un-gentlemanly, narcissistic…uh...STUPID person would do that?!"
In an attempt to disregard his extreme frustration, England slowly walked into his kitchen to get some water. When he entered his kitchen, he noticed a piece of paper resting on his table. "A note?" he questioned.
England, Your food stinks.
-France
England slowly put down the paper, in a, 'Shit just got serious.' kind of way. Seething rage pulsed through him. Sure, one may think that England was over-reacting, but after the day he'd had, it was as normal as something that's normal; that's pretty normal.
From his rising anger, England began to feel a heat swell up in…his eyebrows? The Englishman stopped yelling for a moment, "What the he—?!"
PEW.
The initial sound was decently quiet, but it was soon replaced with a loud, BOOM. England was speechless; two bullets had shot out of his eyebrows and created a huge hole in the wall. In case you didn't know, eyebrows aren't supposed to do that, not even English ones. "Uh…" England trailed off, he slowly reached for his phone and dialed America's number.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
"Duuuuuude! Epic timing bro! Did somethin' weird happen to you, too?" "Well," Arthur sighed, "how does, 'laser-shooting eyebrows' sound?" Alfred laughed hysterically, "Dude, that's freakin' awesome!" Slightly angered by being laughed at, England replied, "Hey, how come you aren't sick anymore?" America scoffed, "I grew up on your food, I can live through anything."
Far away, in a place completely unrelated to the plot…
2012 stood up, he, being a moment in time, had overheard America's rather risky statement. "Challenge accepted." he announced flatly. "Challenge accepted…."
Back to the plot…
England yelled at America for insulting his cooking. After that, he decided there was a question that should be asked. "So, what happened to you then?" he inquired. "Uh…you know Nantucket?" America answered. "What?" asked Arthur. "That one rebellious piece of hair that I have." Alfred explained. "The cowlick?" England suggested. "Yeah." America replied. "What about it?" England asked. "It became a whip…" "Oh…interesting…" Alfred suddenly became excited, "Wait, does this mean…" he began. "Yeah, I think it does…" England answered, having an idea of what he was going to say.
"Holy shit! We gotz superpowers!" they yelled in unison.
Whew! Finished! This was a kinda far out idea, but, you know, whatever. Anyway, I will deem you an awesome person if you favorite this story, an amazing person if you follow this story, an AWESOME person if you follow/favorite my other stories, and you get to be the HERO if you do everything mentioned before and review! Or you can just review…. Those things make my day…..
