Weight of the World
I'm not the same person I was. No, the person was lost to me after the events of my first year at Hogwarts. I had been the shy redhead, a quiet wallflower, trying not to be noticed at all. The year before I went to Hogwarts I met Harry Potter on the platform and fell instantly in love with him. All through the year my brother Ron kept us up to date on what was going on with him, and consequently with Harry. After Riddle's possession of me I realized something that would change my life forever. It had been nice to wake up to Harry's emerald gaze but he hadn't saved me because he was worried about Ginny. He had saved me because I was his best mate's sister. That my friends, is when I realized that if I didn't change I would lose Harry forever.
After the embarrassing elbow-in-the-butter-dish incident I delved almost immediately into the world of make-up and teen magazines. After making myself a mini Lavender or Parvati with varying degrees of success I went back to school, a new person.
It isn't in my parents to notice changes like that so I was home free for a while. I started dating after third year but even my brother didn't notice. As the years went on I noticed that Harry didn't like me as a shy wallflower so I became more and more risqué and promiscuous. The tentative relationships with the shy boys soon turned into snog-fests and sex-scandals. Every single male in that castle knew I was good for no commitment one night stands except those two idiots. I even had sex with Draco Malfoy, something I'm not proud of, but I was nothing to them.
At long last my mother noticed the changes I had undergone since third year. After talking to Professor McGonagall during an Order meeting my mother had finally learned what her little girl was up to while she was away. To say that my mother was surprised would be an understatement. She came to me that night trying to understand but failed miserably. She was so shaken up and confused that she forgot to forbid my horrible behavior. I felt it was my duty at that point to set up the romance I knew my mother desperately wanted, her darling daughter with the Boy Who Lived.
My mother clung to me that night, hoping for the old Ginny to return to comfort her, but that Ginny is long gone and buried. She's taken it upon herself to try and fix me subtly, a little change here, another there, like I won't notice. I'm too far gone to change until Harry Potter is in my grasp.
I don't think its impossible, I really don't, but I can't make any progress with my mother's dead weight holding me down. I have a goal that I see only one way to reach. Even if I shed all of who I was she will cling to Old Ginny but I won't be held down by that girl.
She's nothing to me now.
