A/N This is based on one of my favorite films, but I altered the story to suit our favorite characters. As usual I don't own anything.

I've written most (75%) of this fic already, so I should update pretty regularly. Once a week prob. If not sooner. Trying to think of a schedule. Not sure if this is any good. Don't know. We'll see. Its pure crack and fluff.

Wrote this to escape the seriousness of my other fics.

The castle was all in hustle before the sun even crept over the horizon. Servants ran to and fro. It was the princess' birthday. And not just any birthday, it was her 28th.

Jefferson bounded up the steps to the only silent part of the castle. Everyone knew Princess Emma was a late sleeper. Unlike her parents who rose with the sun, Emma would stay in bed all day if allowed. But today she was not allowed. She had much to do before the grand celebration that evening.

He waved his hands after entering the princess' suite. A flurry of servants scrambled to open the curtains, allowing the sun into the room, causing the blonde to stir, but not awake. Another flick of his wrist and a violin was struck, the music filling the massive chamber.

The soft melody made its way to the heir's ears, eliciting a grumble from a frowning face.

"No. No. No." she said several times. While no servant dared rebuke her, Jefferson was no ordinary servant.

"Yes. Yes. Yes, your highness." He said grinning. "Time to get up. You have much to do and breakfast with your parents in an hour." Despite his jovial mood, Emma didn't move, opting to pull the blankets over her head as she rolled over. He grinned again before reaching over and yanking them down.

"Dammit Jefferson, I'm tired."

"You're also 28," he said. This caused the princess to sit up, emerald eyes shining and a smile developing on her dimpled cheeks.

"I am 28. I am." She flipped the covers down and sat up, revealing a simple tank top with silk pants. "Which means I am old enough to do as I wish this morning. And this morning, I do not wish for a lady-in-waiting to assist me."

"Nice try princess, but no." With another flick of Jefferson's wrist, a servant appeared at the side of Emma's bed with warm slippers and a silk robe for her to don. Another wave and the servants exited the room, leaving only Jefferson. "Olivia will be in shortly to assist with you bathing and clothing for the day. I shall be outside, waiting to escort you to breakfast."

Emma exhaled heavily with a roll of her eyes.

Another year older, yet still treated as a child.

[SQ]

Two guards walked behind Emma and Jefferson as they made their way to the dining room. No doubt they would carry her there if she asked. Despite being 28, heir to the largest kingdom in the realm and years of combat training, she was treated as if she were still 5 years old, fragile and stupid.

"You must very excited for the day."

"Why, I'm just another year closer to being back in diapers."

"No. No. Today you meet your wife-to-be."

"Well I can't very well be excited about a woman I've never met, now can I?" This whole marriage thing was ridiculous Emma thought. It had been quite a scandal throughout the Enchanted Forest when it was revealed that the princess was to take a woman, but Queen Snow White was nothing if not firm in her decisions. At least she listened to Emma on that part. She wondered who the poor fellow was that was told he wasn't going to marry into a crown? Better yet, what woman was told she was?

Jefferson didn't answer as they made their way into the dining hall. Meal time was known as the Princess' favorite time of day, and the kitchen went overboard for her birthday. Though only the Queen, Prince Consort David and the Princess were to eat, the feast could certainly have fed 10 or 15 people.

"Emma, what on earth are you wearing?" Queen Snow White exclaimed as the princess walked in. "It's your birthday."

"Yes and as such I should be able to wear what I please." Emma pressed her hand down her plain knit shirt and comfortable breeches. Olivia had suggested more formal attire, but the princess hadn't been in the mood, as was apparent in her tone of voice. "I'll change later."

Despite the spread before her, Emma only nibbled at a pastry. Today was the day she was going to lose herself. In addition to being formally added to the council and appointed chair of said council, she was going to take a wife. Bind herself to a woman she didn't know, for eternity.

"Is something troubling you dear?" Snow asked.

"No." she muttered.

"Emma. I am not only the ruler of this great kingdom, I am also your concerned mother," she said placatingly "Please talk to me."

"Well," Emma started. "It's everything."

"Everything?"

"The pampering, the music, the assistance in dressing me. I do nothing for myself."

"You are heir of the enchanted forest," David interrupted.

"And I would still be heir to the throne if I dressed by myself. I don't need someone to do those things. Do you know that I don't even know how to make tea. Why can't I make my own tea? Why can't I choose my own wife?"

"So that's what this is about?" Snow sighed. "Emma you do not have to worry. From the time we knew you preferred the fairer sex, we went about choosing a suitable wife for you. She has been taught to walk and speak and think like a queen. She is a very fine woman Emma."

"But I do not love her."

"You will in time. Trust me. I was very nervous about meeting your father."

"It's true," David said. "When George and Leo, threw the two of us into that carriage that was going to take us to our wedding, I thought I would throw up."

"But over that first year, I grew to love your father very much," Snow said looking at her husband instead of her daughter. Emma knew it was true. She knew that her parents had a love that most only dreamed of. She also knew they were a rarity when it came to arranged marriages. Most only grew to tolerate their spouse and took to having mistresses and concubines. Something Emma didn't want.

"But Mother, will she grow to love me for who I am, or what I am?"

"What do you mean?"

"I am a woman who has never made her own cup of coffee."

"Wrong Emma, you are a princess who has never made her own cup of coffee," Snow scoffed. "Besides I've done it before. It's overrated."

The conversation was interrupted as the door to the dining room opened without a knock.

"Good Morning your majesty, your highness and your highness," through Emma didn't turn around, the accent and blatant disregard for propriety let her know who had just entered. "What a beautiful morning it is in the Enchanted Forest."

"What do you want Killian?" Snow said, not hiding her annoyance.

"You are looking very beautiful, as usual your majesty," he said bowing to the Queen.

"Don't you have somewhere to be….or something," David said.

"Well I just came to take the birthday girl for her morning spar," he said.

Emma smiled politely to her parents, shoving the rest of her pastry in her mouth.

"Mofffer, Faffer" she said through the food, as she nodded to her parents, before rushing out of the room.

[SQ]

Emma removed her overshirt, revealing a plain sleeveless top underneath as she moved to get a sword from the stand.

"You ready to defend yourself, you spoiled, pampered, palace brat," Killian said, pulling his own sword from the stand. He flexed the sword, making a few cuts in the air, letting his wrist get adjusted to the blade. "Let's go little Swan."

The guards said nothing, used to the insults that passed between the Princess and her friend. Emma didn't reply, but smiled, watching and waiting as Killian began moving around her in a circle.

Strike, block, strike, block.

The two swords clashed repeatedly as the two struck at each other, neither gaining the upper hand.

"You could have a woman who would do everything you ask, no questions, but instead you want a woman with an opinion? Someone who would dare question you?" Killian asked as he lunged at the princess.

"Only an animal should obey," Emma said as she blocked him. "If you love a woman, you want and value her opinion. I want someone who will help me in being a good ruler."

"Bullshit!" Killian said, dodging the princess' strike. "You're heir to the throne. That woman only needs a pretty face, firm ass and breasts that spill from your hands as you squeeze them." The blue eyed man lunged at the princess, as she backed up all the way to the wall. As he made a final strike, she kicked him in the hand, causing him to drop his sword. She swept her foot underneath his, making him fall flat on his back, he blade coming to rest at his neck.

"So you would want to share your power and money with a beautiful fool?"

"Of course!" Killian said, running his hand through his sweat soaked hair. "That's how it is for those with power. She is there to be beautiful and to please you. It's fucking tradition!"

"Times change."