"The First Time"

By

Sydney long

"Author's Note: I've been sitting on this story for quite some time and for a long while thought I would include it in my never ending story "Starting From the Beginning" but the awesome Tayma (gingaloid) has convinced me otherwise and so here you have it! If you're following along with "Starting…" you'll notice a few subtle references that go along with that story. Any and all reviews are much appreciated! I hope you enjoy it!

"Are you okay," he whispered when they finally started to catch their breath. He hadn't yet moved from his position above her, one hand still tangled in her hair and the other just by her side supporting a bit of his own weight. He never felt more whole than he did in this moment and wanted it to last a little bit longer.

Emma searched his eyes and stroked his cheek before she answered. She hoped that the love she had for this man, who in a matter of a few short months would become her husband, was showing in her eyes. She bit her lip and then slowly turned it into a smile that she knew would definitely reach her eyes.

"I'm better than okay," she said reaching up to kiss him. She sighed and wanted to continue kissing him, hoping to start things back up again. Now that they had shared themselves, she immediately wanted to do it again which to be honest, surprised to her.

"Not yet," he said putting his finger to her lips, "I don't mean to put a damper on what just happened but why now? What changed? What made you ready to take this next step?"

"Did you actually read my pamphlet Mr. Schuester," she asked.

"You mean there was more to it than just the cover," he asked as he rolled over to fish his jeans out of the heap of clothes on the floor next to their bed. He chuckled a bit because Emma made no attempt whatsoever to pick up after them once their clothes hit the floor. Sometimes he couldn't believe the progress she was making with her OCD. He hoped the thought of their future together was the trigger for the change.

"There's always more than just the cover."

The blankets gave way just enough so that Emma could see for the first time that his bare back wasn't marred by the waistband of a pair of pajama pants. She smiled to herself and let her hand fall onto his back as he leaned over the side of the bed. She couldn't stand not feeling his now slightly clammy skin against her own. The old Emma Pillsbury would have cringed at the mere thought of someone else's perspiration but this is different. This is Will and this is a result of the love they have for one another and she's totally okay with it.

"What are you looking for sweetie," she asked.

"This," he said returning to the bed with her pink pamphlet in his hand.

"You carried that around in your pocket all day," she said.

"Yeah," he answered flipping the switch on the night stand lamp and grabbing his glasses, "I couldn't just leave it lying around in my office. There were too many people coming in and out of it all day. Besides, I wanted to keep it close to make sure I wasn't imagining things."

"I think," she said taking the pamphlet from him and being bold enough to straddle him, "if you had read this in its entirety earlier, we'd already be starting on round two but…" she stopped mid-sentence, grabbed his glasses and put them on, "seeing as my student just read the summary of the assignment, round two is going to have to wait a bit."

"Oh my god," he said sitting up and wrapping his arms around her. He had the biggest grin on his face and nuzzled her neck with his nose as he spoke, "Who are you and what have you done to Emma Pillsbury?"

"Oh I'm still Emma Pillsbury," she said pushing him back down, "this is just a side of me that's been dying to unveil itself. I've just been waiting for the right person to come along. Turns out, he's always been there."

"You won't be a Pillsbury much longer," he said sinking back into the pillows, totally enjoying the sight of his naked fiancée sitting on top of him. He fiddled with her engagement ring, reminding them both of its presence and just how special this moment had been.

"I know," she said leaning down to kiss him then drawing their attention back to the pamphlet in her hand, "are you ready for this?"

"Yes," he said. Will let his hands wander her body, loving the fact that he could finally do that now…any time he wanted to do. No longer would he have to worry about making her nervous and uncomfortable.

"You might have to take over at some point," she said, "I don't know if I can make it through the whole thing."

"It's okay babe," he said, "we can finish it together."

"First of all," she began, "this is more like a letter than an informational pamphlet, which is why in a way I'm glad you kept it in your pocket and didn't read it at school. You might have been distracted."

"Okay," he said simply. He honestly had no idea what she was about to say to him but he knew that it would be dripping with love and honesty.

"When it's finally time to have intercourse," she said reading the title.

"Great conversación starter," he said, "that alone was distraction enough."

"Shut up. It got your attention didn't it," she teased. Emma took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "here we go."

Dear Sunshine,

I can only imagine the look on your face when you find this pamphlet. By finding it, well it means that I'm ready to take that next step with you. I'm ready to take our relationship to a whole new place. One in which we create our own little world of intimacy and love. We've been so close to it for so long and it's finally time to completely share ourselves with each other. You've been so kind and patient with me from the very beginning and I'm so grateful.

I know you're probably wondering why now? What's changed for me to be ready to take our relationship to the next level? I don't know that I'm going to be able to find the right words to answer your questions so I've just decided to tell you how I feel. You've done that with me so many times I've lost count and now it's my turn to do the same with you. Much of it you already know but there are a few things that you don't and this is my chance to tell you.

Will, I love you. I love you so much and for a long time that terrified me. I was so afraid that we'd never be able to get past all of those obstacles in our way and let our love live and grow. Somehow we managed to but not without making a ton of mistakes along the way. And now here we are, not using the obstacles or mistakes as an excuse anymore. We're getting married (finally) and starting to plan our future together.

From the moment I met you, I knew that you were the only one I wanted to share this side of myself with. I've been waiting for you my entire life and despite everything, deep down I always knew that my place was by your side and that you and only you would have all of me. You've given me all of you and so much more every day. It's time I do the same, not because I have to but because I want to…with everything that I am. There are so many 'firsts' that I want to share with you and only you, including my 'first time'. That time is now.

Emma stopped there, emotions taking over her. She knew they would and that's why she wrote things down to begin with. She handed the pamphlet and his glasses over to Will for him to finish reading. Sniffling and wiping away a few stray tears, she watched him read the rest of the words she had taken such a long time to write.

"Oh Emma," he whispered as he read her heartfelt words. Will wondered when she had time to put this together without him knowing it but quickly realized with all of the preparations for nationals, she had plenty of time.

"I've been ready to share myself with you for a while," Emma said when he finally looked up from reading, "but I didn't want to distract you from nationals. I knew that once we made love for the first time, it would be a major distraction for both of us. I can tell you right now that I am so glad school is almost over for the year because all I can think about is doing this again and again."

"How long," he asked tucking her hair behind her ear. She nuzzled her cheek in his palm before she answered.

"A while…a long while," she said quietly, "I knew I was ready but then I had to come to terms with that and my anxiety kicked in just a bit. Then we chaperoned at the prom and everything changed. The nervousness that I felt even though I knew I was ready just disappeared. That night you made me feel like I was the only person in the room. That's the prom I will remember for the rest of my life but prom night wasn't the right night."

"No," he said agreeing with her, "it would have been too clichéd."

"I've come extremely close to jumping you so many times since then," she said drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingertips. She giggled and blushed at her statement, "including our hotel room at nationals but that wasn't the place either."

"Really," he said sitting up and wrapping his arms around her. He wanted to be as close to her as possible in this moment. She's never looked more beautiful than she does right now, he thought to himself, she's glowing.

"Yeah," she said enjoying their closeness, "let's just say you haven't been the only one taking cold showers lately."

"Well, no more cold showers," he said with a kiss to her forehead.

"No more showering alone either," she whispered, "I can't wait to take a shower with you."

"Something else to look forward to," he said stroking her bare back. He could feel just how relaxed she was in his arms. Things were definitely going to change now. This has been one of the best years of his life and now things were going to get even better.

Smiling Emma leaned in to kiss him. Once again they were lost in their own little world of intimacy and they stayed there until they had to come up for air.

"I love you," she whispered tucking her head under his chin.

"I love you too," he said and then added, "Mrs. Schuester."

Emma looked up at him with a huge smile on her face knowing the day would be coming sooner rather than later. Occasionally he would call her that and it always amazed her at how easily it rolled off of his tongue and how wonderful it sounded.

"Soon," she whispered.

"You know what," he said with a sudden burst of excitement.

"What?"

"Our wedding night is going to be so much better now," he said. The expression on her face let him know he needed to do a bit more explaining, "now that we've made love, the pressure will be off. You won't be nervous about your first time. I won't be nervous about making you uncomfortable or hurting you. It will be an amazing night, one that we will really get to enjoy as husband and wife. By then we will have perfected this dance."

"Are you saying that we're going to be spending most of the summer doing this," she asked with a smile, "not that I'm complaining mind you."

"Amongst other things," he said kissing her neck, "there's one big thing I'd like to do this summer besides making love with my fiancée every day."

"What's that," she asked tilting her neck has he continued to kiss her, "we're already going up to the lake for a week."

"I'd really like us to sit down and take a good look at our finances," he started to say.

"Well that's romantic," she teased, "I never dreamed that we'd be talking about our finances after we've made love for the first time."

"It will be if you let me finish," he said tickling her.

"Go on then."

"I think we should start looking for a house," he said.

"What," she said excitedly.

"Em, we're in a really good place right now. I actually like teaching history, the glee club is a national champion, you've got tenure," he said, "how cool would it be to start off a new school year in our own home? We'll be able to come back from our honeymoon in November to our house with our name on the mailbox. This is a great apartment but I don't want to think about starting our family here."

"I thought we were already a family," she said.

"You know what I mean."

"Babies?"

"Yeah. I know we talked about waiting for a bit before we have a baby and I still want to do that. I want to enjoy married life with you for a while before we add to our family," he said, "why can't it be in a house with a yard and that swing from your dream on the front porch?"

"Can we plan a wedding and get a house ready at the same time," she questioned.

"I think so," he answered, "people do it all the time and we might not find one we like for a while. I still want us to look."

"Okay," she said kissing him.

"Okay," he repeated.

"All right."

"Okay," he said.

"Will," she said kissing him, "stop talking."

The second she deepened the kiss, he knew that round two of their love making was about to commence. He had so much love for this woman that he was beginning to think that even in a lifetime together he wouldn't be able to show her just how much. She had really surprised him tonight by taking charge of the physical aspect of their relationship. He was fine moving at her pace but now that she had completely opened herself up to him he knew that things were going to change for the better. He looked forward to them growing closer and expressing their love in new ways.

"I love kissing you," she whispered when they finally came up for air, "but I want more."

"What more do you want," he teased flipping her back onto her back and settling himself on top of her again. Emma immediately wrapped her legs around him, bringing him as close as close could be before they became one.

"You," she whispered in his ear, "and I want you to make love to me…again."

Not even bothering to flip the light off, Will smiled and captured her lips once more. They sank back into the pillows and began another slow dance of love.