The Marauders' Last Prank
(Author's note: This may seem like one more HPSSDM slash fest, but there is more than that here. Do want to read a story where the Marauders gang up one last time on Snape and a Malfoy…to give Harry his heart's desire? Moreover, how does the idea of Rudolphus Lestrange being forced to borrow money from Harry Potter… to settle a bet with his wife, hit you? Read on…Disclaimer: The entire Harry Potter universe belongs to J. K. Rowling. Liberties taken with it will be stated as necessary.
Summary/teaser: Sirius, James, and Lily decide to orchestrate the ultimate Marauder prank: set up Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy to fall in love with Harry Potter, since Harry is in love with both of them. Unexpected complications ensue, such as Wormtail getting together with his true love, and Horace Slughorn being framed for stealing potions ingredients from Snape. And that's just the start…
Prologue
(Author's note: I do not own any characters, but I have taken the following liberties with them: James and Sirius hate Snape a lot less now that they are both dead. Lily's influence may have something to with that…)
James, Lily and Sirius were all together in the afterlife, gazing down at their friends, relatives, and enemies - although 'down was merely a relative term used as a formality since the afterlife was by no means separate from the duringlife, as shall be seen soon enough.
"He looks so peaceful and happy." James sighed.
"Are you sure, Prongs?" Sirius inquired, slightly worried. "He seems a bit down to me."
"Of course he's a bit down!" Lily said indignantly. "He just had to break up with his girlfriend while he deals with being bisexual and having a huge crush on two guys!"
"Oops, we missed that." James murmured.
"Well, it neither took long, nor did it cause a massive explosion. She was pretty nice about it."
"Which two guys is it?" Sirius asked.
"You two should probably watch and find out for yourselves. It will be easier on you that way." Lily told them sweetly. So they watched. In the end, they agreed that it was easier finding out whom Harry liked from Harry.
"I don't believe it!" ranted James. "Falling for Draco Malfoy, I can see. I mean, he is sexy if you like blonds. But…But…How is that areole who claims to be his teacher, sexy?!"
"There's more to attraction than just looks," Padfoot pointed out. "It could be a chemical thing."
"So what if it is? All three of them could use a little fun." Lilly said thoughtfully. The other two looked at her, then at each other.
"Could we pull it off?" James sounded doubtful.
"We'd need contacts who are still alive." Sirius reminded them.
"Well, since this would be the Ultimate Marauder Prank, we'd have to include the other two. Let's do it!" Lily was waxing enthusiastic. "Let's set the three of them up!"
"How, Lily-Love?" James demanded practically.
"Simple, Lupin gives Draco a love potion and Peter gives Severus one, and next thing you know they'll worship Harry. He'll be thrilled, and we'll use potions that make the drinkers sufficiently amenable to suggestion that they would rather share Harry than risk hurting him with a jealous rivalry!"
"Nice. I like it. I like it a lot. Let's do it!" James had caught his wife's enthusiasm.
"Let's!" agreed Sirius. "Tonight we start, and Wormtail and Moony are having some weird dreams coming their way!"
Chapter 1: An extract from Remus Lupin's diary
Last night, I had an incredible dream. I dreamt that James, Lily, and Sirius came into my room and asked for my help with the Ultimate Marauder Prank. I know it must have been real, because on the page preceding this is the recipe of a very obscure love potion, which I am to give Draco Malfoy. At this point, I know no more than that, because the others feel it may be vital for my safety and the success of their ruse that I not have to act surprised by certain developments. I will do it. I may be mad, but I will do it! I cannot risk losing this chance, both to help my friends and to help at least one enemy. And of course there is my own deep-down desire to see what happens and how far this goes… have a feeling I will have a lot to record here soon.
