Jack and the League of Idiots

Yes, I'm starting ANOTHER story! Lol! But I've had this idea for a while now and REALLY wanted to write it. So basically I made up a few stereotypical characters that are all girls and made them work with Jack. It's mostly humor, but if somebody ACTUALLY wants any romance or something I may throw some of that in here too! This is just basically for fun so if you want me to keep going you NEED to review! Reviews mean a lot much to me, so PLEASE review!

Summary: After being forced out of his basement by his mother, Jack meets a dull looking girl who gives him the idea to make a team. But there's a problem, the all girl team can't stand one another. How will poor Jack survive and still manage to take over the world?

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown! Gasp! All I really own are my characters Beth, Brittany, Kristen, and Eden. But I don't think that's something to be too proud of…

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There was a knock on Jack's bedroom door "Honey, it's eleven! Time to get up!" It was the voice of his attentive mother. (A.N.: I have no idea how she looks, so imagine her however you want to!)

"Mom! I'm sleeping!" He whined "Go away!"

"Dear, it's not good for you to sleep all day. Now get up, get dressed, and go play outside with your friends! You can stay out of that basement of yours for one day."

Jack groaned "But mom-"

"Don't make me come in there young man!" After this command Jack could hear his mother's footsteps as she walked away and went down the stairs. Being the mama's boy that he was he couldn't help but listen to her. He felt for clothes on his floor and sniffed them to tell if they were clean or not. If they didn't smell that bad they were considered clean. After he was fully dressed and applied his makeup it was almost twelve. He then left his messy room and headed down stairs to the kitchen.

"Mom, I'm hungry!" He announced as he entered the large chefs kitchen. Sure enough his mother was cooking breakfast.

"Just a minute, honey!" She answered sweetly "Now don't you think about going into that basement! You're gonna spend the day outside with your friends! You could use the fresh air!"

"Why can't you just let me be me! Just accept me for who I am! I can make my own decisions you know! I don't need you or anyone else for that matter!" After his bold statement he took a set at the breakfast table.

"That's nice dear, but you're going to have a nice fun day outside with all your little friends." His mom said calmly as she placed a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of her obedient son.

"Why must you torment me like this? Do you ever think about me! How your choices effect me?" Jack took a bite of his eggs after he asked these oh so meaningful questions "Hey, mom, can you get me some orange juice?" He asked with his mouth still full.

"Yes, honey."

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Jack sat on his front porch alone. It was a bright sunny day and all he wanted was to be in his dingy basement thinking up evil schemes so he could take over the world. "This should be considered child abuse." Jack said to himself as he flopped on his back.

"Like, oh em gee! Can it really be you?" Jack quickly sat up to see a short girl (she couldn't be more than five feet tall) standing before him. "It-It really is you! I can't believe it! Why are you outside? Why am I asking you that when I should be asking you if you'll marry me?" The girl was very eccentric.

"Um… who are you?" Jack asked the girl. She had long brown hair in two messy pigtails. Her skin was pale and covered in faint freckles. She wore a pale blue button up shirt and a darker blue skirt that went to her knees. To top it off she wore hideous black dress shoes with frilly cream colored socks pointing out and huge thick rimed red glasses. All in all she was a mess.

"My name is Beth Spicer!" She shouted happily.

"Hey that's my-"

"I know it's your last name too! See I did have a different stupid last name, but it was stupid so I begged and begged my mom to let me change it. She said if I got straight A's for three years I'd get to change my last name. Of course that was no problem for me! I love school! But do you know what I love more than school?" The girl peered straight into Jack's crimson eyes waiting for an answer. Each second that he took to think Beth inched closer and closer to him.

"Um… Is it candy? Everyone loves candy!"

"No, silly! I love you!" Beth's face was now only a couple of inches in front of Jack's. He immediately went red and scooted his face away.

Now it was definitely child abuse.

"Well I guess that's why you changed your last name to Spicer… So, um, why do you love me so much? I know that I'm hot and- "

"I don't just love you for your fabulous looks! I love you because I know you're going to take over the world some day! I know you're going to beat those stupid Xiaolin losers for sure! And when you do take over the world I want to rule it by your side!" Beth began to look off into the distance daydreaming about Jack and herself together.

Jack ignored her comment about wanting to rule the world by his side "So you really think I could take over the world?"

This brought her out of her dream world "Of course you could! That is if you had the right plan."

Jack gave her a funny look "So what exactly is 'the right plan'?"

Beth smiled "Well all you need is a team. You'd get so much farther if you had people to boss around and stuff. I know! Me and you can make a team together and-"

"I just got the greatest idea in all of my life! I could put together a team and I'd boss them around! I'd make them help me take over the world! Muhahaha!" Jack began to laugh his 'evil' laugh.

"Um, Jack, I just came up with that." Beth pointed out "But I see how you could mix it up." She added.

"I wasn't done yet!" Jack shouted. Then he took a couple of seconds to think. "My team is going to be a team of super hot babes!" He shouted proudly.

"That's brilliant, Jack!" Beth commented, though I doubt she believed it. "Am I on the team?"

"Um… sure." Jack said getting up. "Find as many hot chicks as you can that'll join my team! I'm off to find people on my own!" The truth was Beth really freaked Jack out. The only reason he let her on his team was he was afraid of how she'd react if he said no.

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The next day Jack sat in his basement with (could it really be?) four girls. They all sat around a large white table with all of Jack's Shen Gong Wu in the middle of it. The day before Jack had no luck with finding even one "hot chick", girl, person, or even thing to join his team. But luckily Beth had found three girls that agreed to join.

Jack looked over the three girls that Beth had brought over. One was a redhead like him, another a brunette, and the other was a bleach blonde. They all were clearly prettier than Beth, but that didn't really take much. Anyway Jack decided to hurry up and learn their names so they could began his awesome-evil-take-over-the-world plan "Since you all know who I am, why don't-"

"Yeah, um, who are you again? Was I supposed to know?" The brunette asked as she looked side to side nervously. It seemed the other two didn't know who he was either since they both gave him "huh?" kind of looks.

"I can't believe you don't know who I am! Beth knows just about everything about me and yet her friends don't even know who I am!" Jack shouted in frustration. Just when he thought he had a fan club…

"Ewww! Gross! I'm not friends with Beth! She's so- so- bleh!" The bleach blonde shouted making a disgusted face as she said "bleh".

"I'm right here!" Beth announced, but it wasn't like it was hard to see that she was there.

The bleach blonde turned to her "Well it's not like you didn't know." She said in a mock sweet tone.

"Beth, just tell me their names." Jack said taking a sit at the center of the table. He was feeling down now since he didn't really have a fan club.

"I'd love to Jackie! Blondie over here is Brittany Smith. The redhead in black is Kristen Lovejoy, she's my best friend!(Kristen rolled her eyes at this remark) Oh, and that girl with the brown hair is Eden Heath. She's just a slob." Her voice went from offended when she was talking to Brittany to overjoyed while she was talking to Jack.

Jack set his eyes on Kristen "So Kristen, I see you like black. So do I." Jack said moving closer to Kristen. He was trying to act smooth.

"I don't just like black, I'm goth." Kristen responded in her raspy voice. Jack moved away from her after hearing her speak. Her voice scared him…

"Poser!" Eden shouted from across the table. Kristen turned to her to glare but "Well, Jack! Don't you think that was just a little mean? I'm sureKristen isn't that much of a poser!"

"Huh? What did I say?" Jack asked clearly confused.

Kristen continued to glare at Eden "I already hate you."

"Can you people just get on with this! I can't believe I actually agreed to work in some loser's basement… If I wasn't getting paid…." Brittany yelled angrily.

"What!" Jack cried out in shock "I have to pay her?"

"No silly! You have to pay them all! But don't worry, you don't have to pay them until we get some money!" Beth answered in an overly happy tone.

"Whatever." Jack said "Does anyone have any ideas for getting more Shen Gong Wu?"

"I do! I do! Jackie, I have tons of ideas!" Beth shouted, but the other three looked clueless.

"None of you know what Shen Gong Wu are, huh?" Jack asked knowing the answer. After he asked this of course Beth was shouting about how she knew what they were, but Jack chose to ignore her "Well, Shen Gong Wu are magical objects that do stuff, like shot lightning, and fire, and move stuff- and- and- do a lot of other stuff too!"

"That makes so much cense!" Said Eden. She was astonished.

"Really? I didn't think I explained it that well." Jack said as he rubbed his neck.

"You're so cute when you're wrong! She was only jay kaying!" Beth said with a huge smile. Jack gave her a questionable look. "She was just kidding!" Beth rephrased.

"Huh? Who was kidding? I was serious!" Eden responded negligently.

"Well I can see this is quite the smart group." Kristen sarcastically remarked.

"Really?" Jack asked for the second time.

"Sarcasm." Kristen replied.

"People, you may have no lives, but I can't sit here all day! I have a social life that I would like to attend to, so hurry up and get this freakin' show on the road!" Brittany shouted in a very annoyed tone. As if on cue Jack's Shen Gong Wu detector began to go wild.

Jack pulled it out of one of his coat pockets "Hey, looks like you all are in luck. You're about to see the great Jack Spicer win another Shen Gong Wu! Muhaha-"

"If you can win Shen Gong Wu on your own then why do you need us?" Kristen asked.

"Well that's simple- Shut up!" Jack said as he pulled the Golden Tiger Claws out of a drawer. "Now lets go beat those Xiaolin losers!" And of course after Jack said this Beth cheered him on…

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Yay! Chapter one! This is pretty long, well compared to my other stories. So please review! If you have any ideas, comments, or suggestions please tell me! It'd mean a lot!