YAMI-AUTHOR: Ladies, gentlemen, and people with nothing better to do, we are proud to be the first ones to attempt an English fandubbing of the bestest Dragon Ball parody doujin, Dragon Fall! Without further ado, let the rofl-ing and lol-ing begin!
AUTHOR: It is advised that you read this monstrosity while flipping through the real doujin's pages, or digital equivalent (coughonlinescanscough) but it can be read as a regular humor/parody fanfiction if you are so inclined… but, Dragon Fall is chockfull of visual humor, so we encourage the aforementioned way of reading.
******************************************************************
ISSUE # 1
THE BEGINNING
Our story starts when a weird object coming from the deep space plummets towards a greenish blue planet that we know very well. And nothing will be the same again!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The space capsule lands near Chungohan's house) (Goku hits the door)
CHUNGOHAN: Who could be?
CHUNGOHAN: Tell me little one, are you lost?
(Goku pokes Chungohan's eyes, he recoils in pain)
CHUNGOHAN: Aw aw aw, the pain...!!! (Goku stares) Fgrrssll damm kid...!!! Who do you think you are!! (he smacks Goku) You can't attack people out of the blue! Damm you little hooligan...
(Goku blasts the house with a ki wave, Chungohan looks crispy fried)
CHUNGOHAN: You little bastard!!! (punches Goku repeteadly) (tosses him down a cliff) (returns home) My home! Damm it! I will have to rebuild it, and it's gonna be a long and tedious proccess... I am not cut out for this, at my age! (looks back) (shock, as Goku is back there) (covers himself) No, make it quick, please...!!
GOKU: Grandpa? Where am I?
NARRATION: After all this mess, Chungohan decided to adopt the stupid, er, confused child in his home, naming him Soson Goku and entrusting him with the worst, er, some of the house chores, so he lived enslaved, er, happily from then on with his newfound grandpa. Until a fateful Halloween night when he...
GOKU: Grandpa, I wanna take a pee!
CHUNGOHAN: Oh, okay, you can go outside. But don't forget that you still need to make dinner.
(Goku goes outside. Takes a pee, and then stares at the moon... and gets blank eyes...)
CHUNGOHAN: What happens now? What new calamity will befall this house...?
(A monkey's feet smashes the house. Goku has transformed into a black Marsupilami.)
NARRATION: Yep, that fateful night, it was discovered the power Goku had to morph into a terrible beast that... well, into THAT...
GOKU: Huba!
After his grandpa's dissapearance, Soson Goku, who had transformed back to normal, kept on living on his grandpa's house which he managed to fix however he could...
VOICE: Looks like there is someone there, but his brainwaves are totally flat... so, it must be sleeping. Well!!! (armor clicks) Here I go!!!
(A robot armor is the one speaking. 'Wilma' can be seen written on the helmet.)
ROBOT: I will remove this boulder to eliminate the obstacle. (descends) He has not even awaken yet, this is gonna be real easy. Ball Scanner, working... (piiip) I found it!! Kudos for me!! (Goku snores) Ack! What am I doing! If he wakes up I am in for a fix!
GOKU: (violent snoring)
ROBOT: What was THAT?? I got what I wanted, better get outta here... (rushes out)
GOKU: (awakes) Who, what... wow, I was dreaming of someone sneaking in here... (shock) Ack! My grandpa, he's gone! (sniffs) Then someone HAS really been here! (goes outside) The thing has fled away, but it can still be seen! (runs) Hey, you wait!
(Goku smacks the robot off-screen, now he cries in pain on-screen after the punch.)
GOKU: Aw aw aw it huuurts, that thing's tough!!!
ROBOT: (wriggles) Heeelp, I can't stand up now!
GOKU: Who are you? Why the heck do you wear a shell?
ROBOT: Getting this brute's angry is not on my best interest now... (armor opens)
GOKU: Whoa, it had devoured a man beforehand! (poking noises) (¡PAF!) No, it really was a lady... (hand on cheek)
WILMA: You will be happy now that you broke my mecha-suit's visor! I will have to travel on foot from now on!
GOKU: But who are you and why were you inside that mecha-whatever thingy? (pause) And why did you want to take my grandpa away, huh?
(Wilma wets the mecha-suit and turns it back to a capsule, Goku is dazzled to see it.)
WILMA: Now, I only have two more vehicles, but with no weapons nor armor! Nice job breaking it, brute boy!
GOKU: (behind a tree) YOU! You were the one who turned my grandpa into a ball!!
WILMA: Well, I don't... I don't recall ever doing that... what grandpa?
GOKU: We lived together in that house until some night when it crumbled down while I was sleeping, and when I awoke I found a note saying...
NOTE: I am your grandpa, I have turned into this. Please take care of me and never leave this place.
GOKU: Won't you be the witch who destroyed our house and transformed my granpa?
WILMA: Well, if you mean magic powers, I have some powers that you can't seem to understand. But I never used them agaisnt people!
GOKU: Then you are a good-natured fairy, aren't you? (Wilma facefaults) And why did you want to take my grandpa away? Maybe to turn him back to a human...?
WILMA: I feel obliged to explain the whole thing to him, if only to shut him up... (takes out two Dragon Balls) For starters, look at this!
GOKU: What are those, more charmed people?
WILMA: Nooo, idiot!! They are Ke-huron's Balls!! (narrating) Those balls are eight in total, plus the 'white one'. Legend says that they were God's, who played pool with them till he had to abandon such hobby due to heart problems. Then he gave them the power which, when held together, could grant the owner a wish, whatever it could be.
GOKU: And what does my granpa have to do with all this mess?
WILMA: NOTHING!! He does have nothing to do! (pause) Look, boy, if you lend me the ball I promise to ask Ke-huron to return your grandpa back to you. Is a treat?
GOKU: Okay.
WILMA: No... it can't be that easy... he can't be that stupid... maybe his ball is not the real deal... Er, how about acompanying me? It would be safer for you and your ball.
(Exact, same panel as before) GOKU: Okay.
WILMA: Grrr, he either is smarter than me or much, much stupider... then I will have to bring out a vehicle to travel together. By the way, I don't know your name yet.
GOKU: Soson Goku.
WILMA: Yeah, sounds fitting... mine is Wilma.
GOKU: Wilma!! Just like the Flinstones lady! AHAHAHAHA!!!
WILMA: Grfkstgn... now, I'm gonna take out a vehicle from a capsule, so you can see. (shows one) This is a molecular tablet, manufactured by the Gragea [spanish for 'pill'] Corp, and you can store anything inside if it is previously miniaturized. Understand?
GOKU: No.
WILMA: Whatever. If we wet the thing with cold water it will decompress and return to its original state. Now, you will see a technological prodigy with your very eyes!
(Capsule decompresses, a treasure chest appears.)
WILMA: I don't understand... there should be a SUV inside the G-5 capsule. What is this? (chest contains dirty magazines) This is the chest where my dad keeps his stupid dirty magazines!! Now what can I do... there is only one more tablet with a vehicle... (gets it) Here, the V-7. But it is a motorboat. Not bad, but we don't have a water way...
GOKU: Hey Wilma, this magazine's has many peepees and boobies...
WILMA: Kids don't read these things!!! (snatches it) We need a river to use the boat on, but... do you know of any that's nearby?
GOKU: Yep, there is one (points to rapid falls)
WILMA: (shock) My god, now we have to go on foot until we reach the plains! Heck, let's move on... let's gear up and of course, let's store away this THING...
NARRATION: Then, Wilma and Goku travelled to the nearby plains, looking for the next Ke-huron Ball.
WILMA: (sweating) Four hours...! Four hours walking down these rocky crevices... I can't almost feel my legs! Argsfs!
GOKU: You are a pretty delicate girl, you should exercise more...
WILMA: Don't give me that crap! Well, now I can use the boat and refuel my thermos. (honk noises) Wuuu, a vehicle! It can carry us by land... and faster! (happy face)
(A red truck approaches them, sporting the Autobot symbol on it. A guy greets them)
YANSHA: Whoa, what do we have here! Want to go somwhere, sweetie?
WILMA: Yes, please, would you mind taking me and the brat to the coastline?
YANSHA: What brat? I don't see any brat here... (¡CRUNCK!)
GOKU: Hey Wilma, look, I managed to hurt the red monster!
YANSHA: My truck! You little rascal...! (he is restrained by Wilma) But then again, who are you two?
WILMA: My name is Wilma and the kid is Soson Goku. We are heading towards the coast to meet with someone...
YANSHA: Heya, you are lucky then, I'm going here too. Name's Eneryansha.
GOKU: Energyzer you say?
YANSHA: No, Eneryansha!!! I'm fed up with that joke!
WILMA: Is the truck okay? (Goku: What's a truck?)
YANSHA: Well, the damage isn't that important, it can continue all right. Let's get going. (Wilma: Mind if I call you just Yansha?) Duh, I don't care.
WILMA: The Ball Scanner is beeping... points towards our destination... Good, the famous Moron-roshi lives near where we want to go! (Goku: What's a moron?)
YANSHA: And now she's suddenly happy... what's wrong with that chick?
WILMA: Your truck is quite... spacious, isn't it?
YANSHA: Yeah, It has everything I need, it's practically a home away from home. In the back seats I have a fridge and grill to make my meals. I'm practically self sufficient.
GOKU: What's this button for? (presses it)
YANSHA: NOOOOO!!! Don't press it!!!
(The truck trembles, spits them out of the cab a transforms into Optimus Prime.)
OPTIMUS: What am I doing here? I should be looking for the Decepticons! (flees)
GOKU: So, it was for THAT...
YANSHA: I'm gonna kill that brat!!! KILL!! (brandishes a giant mallet)
NARRATION: And the journey continues, at a sensibly slower pace...
WILMA: Hey, why do you come with us if you just lost your truck?
YANSHA: Oh, that, I need to deliver a package to Moron-roshi and... the package!!!
(They go back to retrieve it, and the aforementioned panel is the same, plus the pack)
WILMA: The coast, finally! Come on, there's not much left to Roshi's home!
********************************************************************
YAMI-AUTHOR: Welcome to our omake section, 'What's in a name'!
AUTHOR: Here I'll try to add notes on character's parodic names that seem necessary to understand the plot or get all the jokes, mmmright? Let's begin.
SOSON-GOKU: Jeans 'Ditzy Goku'. Really fitting, yeah.
CHUNGOHAN: The (butchered) spanish-dubbed name was 'Songohanda', don't ask me why, and the parody name turned into Chungo-anda (spanish for 'hardly walks'), but we will be refering to him in this fandubbing as Chungohan from now on.
WILMA: Parodic name for Bulma. The Flinstones' lady. Even Goku gets the joke...
ENERYANSHA: The Energizer batteries. Again a no brainer, Goku gets it too.
KE-HURON: Parodic name for Shenlong, means 'how stingy'.
MORON-ROSHI: Parodic name for Mutenroshi, the spanish dub called him 'Duende Tortuga' and the original parody named him 'Duende Tarugo', hence the 'Moron' part of his name here. He will be named just Roshi from now on.
