Marisa and the Oceab
One day Marisa wanted to see the ocean.
"Alice, I want to see the ocean." Said Marisa.
Alice ate a pretentious finger sandwich. "Marisa, you are a dumb fuck. Oceans do not exist."
Marisa said, "I might be a dumb fuck, but I know in my heart that oceans really exist, and I will find one and bring it back to you to prove you wrong."
Alice drank her tea in a pretentious manner. "Marisa, you are the dumbest fuck I have ever met. Even if oceans did exist, you couldn't carry one, because these purely hypothetical oceans are full of angry whales, and you can't carry even one whale. It is impossible."
But Marisa had already burned down Alice's house and gone to find an ocean.
"God damn it." Said Alice, pretentiously.
Marisa flew around Gensokyo until she smashed her face into the barrier and fell off her broom. She fell into the river.
"Did I find an ocean?" Said Marisa aloud, through a mouthful of river water and blood.
"No, you dipshit." Said Nitori as she rose out of the water. "Oceans don't exist."
"Nitori, if you believe in oceans, oceans will exist." Said Marisa.
"You are a dipshit." Said Nitori, eating a cucumber. She hit Marisa in the face with a wrench.
"Ouch." Said Marisa, and she flew away again.
Marisa went to the moon. She did not see any oceans. She got stabbed.
"Ouch." Said Marisa, and she looked at the person who stabbed her.
"Get the fuck off our planet." Said Toyohime.
"Why did you steal Yorihime's sword." Said Marisa.
"So I could stab you. You cannot stab people with fans." Said Toyohime.
"Do you believe in oceans, Toyohime." Said Marisa.
"No, you impure pissbrain. Oceans do not exist." Said Toyohime.
Marisa said "Toyohime, the oceans will only come out of hiding if you believe in them with all your heart." She teared up a little for effect.
"Get the fuck off our planet." Said Toyohime.
Marisa flew off of the moon.
Marisa flew to Tokyo.
"Maybe oceans do not really exist after all." She said to herself, and since she thought this in her heart, she did not see any oceans, even though she was on a fucking island. It also might have been because Seija evaporated the ocean with a giant magnifying glass before Marisa got there.
Marisa flew back to Gensokyo.
Marisa was crying at her house.
"What is wrong, Marisa." Said Yukari, who was being a creeper.
"Oh Yukari, I think oceans must not really exist after all. I was so excited to bring one to Alice but I could not find even one." Said Marisa.
"But Marisa," said Yukari. "You did not have to go looking at all. The real ocean was inside you all along."
"Really." Said Marisa.
"Really." Said Yukari.
Marisa was so very excited that she ran to tell Alice about the ocean inside of herself. Alice was pretentiously exasperated by Marisa's antics and was about to swear loudly at her when an ocean suddenly exploded out of Marisa's body and killed her and drowned the entirety of Gensokyo.
"I warned her." Said Yukari.
Moral: Oceans do not really exist.
