A/N: This story is set after The Invasion when Leo was in his coma. The two songs are Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne and Run, Daddy, Run by Miranda Lambert. Run, Daddy, Run has been converted into my version to fit the story. Enjoy and thanks for reading.

Keep Holding On

If I could hold you in my arms, I wouldn't have to

Say goodbye. You know I don't like goodbyes, so don't

Let it come from you. Please, don't let me go, because I certainly

Won't let you leave. And keep breathing. Don't exhale a good-bye.

Just keep holding on. Promise to hold on…for me.

Leo's P.O.V.

I'm all alone. It's wrong that I am alone. I should see orange hugging me, purple with sparks and red screaming at me. Instead all I see is a wave of continuous darkness. It's like it has swallowed me.

I hear voices and struggle to them. They rarely speak to me. That almost makes me want to drown. But then one voice will start speaking to me and I will float so close to the surface but not above it. It's like a wall. I can hear the ones I love, but I can't see or respond. Where is Sensei? I know he would talk to me. Where is he? Why isn't he here with me…?

I'm sinking. I know I might not be coming back from this one. I know I'm dying, but in a way I can't die. Like somebody is keeping me here.

The darkness is growing so heavy. It's crushing me. I can't breathe…

"Leo."

A new voice jerks me to the surface. One I haven't heard in so long. April. She's talking to me.

"Leo, Donnie says you can hear me. I don't know if that is true but if you can hear me, know that we can't wait for you to wake up. So much has happened that you don't know about. That you need to know about. And Raph… he doesn't sleep. Nightmares plague him, Leo. Everyone is scared for you. But him most of all. He-"

"I didn't know you talked to him, April," Raphs voice intervenes. He sounds tired. I wish her would sleep.

"Hey, Raph. No, I usually don't talk to him but… I felt I needed to."

Raph grunts, and then says," Did he respond?"

"No."

There's an uncomfortable silence. I wish someone would speak.

Finally, April says," Raph, you okay?"

"Yeah," Raph sounds like he's choking," I just…yeah."

Aprils sigh is small. She says," Okay, Raph. See you later."

Raph sighs, too, as he drags something across the floor. By this point I've decided it's a chair, since he's done this so often.

Sometimes he talks, sometimes he doesn't. I know the others are okay because all he talks about are them. He never talks about himself or me.

But today seems full of surprises.

"Leo? Leo, come back. Leo, please. Open those eyes."

He's trying to wake me. But the wall still remains. I pound on that wall till I feel the sinking. Raph said please! I have to wake up for that.

"Leo, please. I can't…please. Wake up…" Raph sounds desperate now.

He's silent and I'm afraid that he's gone. Or that I am.

Then I feel it. The first thing I've felt in such a long time. And it makes my heart beat so hard it's painful.

Raph's hand is resting on my cheek, cupping it, rubbing his thumb over it. This is the gentlest thing I have felt from him. Ever.

His voice sounds broken and tearless," Leo… you've been out for two months."

Two months!

Raph breathes hard as he speaks," You need to wake up. I know you can hear me." His hand caresses my cheek one last time ," Wake up, Leo. Please. Wake. UP!"

I want to so badly tell him I hear him, tell him that I love him and I'm trying as hard as I can. But I can't. The wall is crushing me, making sure I don't resurface.

Raph's hand leaves my face. I want to beg him to bring it back in fear that I'll never feel again.

But I do as he kisses my forehead and I actually feel embarrassed. I almost heat up. Then Raph says so quietly," I love you, Leo."

Then he's gone.

I've never wanted to cry so much in my life.


Raph's P.O.V.

I prefer being alone with Leo. I can talk to him freely. I sometimes almost tell him everything in my heart, even if he can't hear me.

But he has to hear me. Leo never tunes me out, even when I insult him.

I pleaded with him, though, and he still didn't wake up. What if he can't hear me? What if I'm just talking to an empty shell? That idea chokes me. I sincerely hope he can hear me.

The couch is dented from me sleeping on it. I don't like my room. It reminds me of home. And I don't want to think of home right now.

It takes me a while to get to sleep, since it is the middle of the freaking day. Once I do, I instantly regret it.

In my dreams, Leo has died so many different ways I feel like I die, too, when he does. And today's nightmare is the worst.

I'm fighting the Shredder, winning. I'm fighting for Leo and Sensei, avenging them. Shredder is open for the kill. I take it. Right as my Sai pierces that evil man's heart; my big brother appears in his place and dies by my hand. I have to stare into his dead eyes and scream.

And that's how I wake up. Screaming. Everybody is used to that by now, my screaming. Everybody avoids me when I sleep now and I don't blame them. I would avoid me to if I saw myself like this.

As I calm down, I hear the sound of music. I listen for a moment. I hate the song the moment it begins.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand

"MIKEY!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"What?" He calls back from the kitchen.

"What did I tell you about leaving this radio on!?"

He's quite for a moment. Then I hear the back door slam and I know that he is on the run.

I hate music now. I'm always scared that Leo's favorite song will come on. Knowing he can't sing or dance to it seems to snap something in me. When it first came on after the invasion, Donnie said I had a total meltdown. I don't remember it, but he says that I screamed at anyone who would look at me. He said Mikey tried to calm me down in a sing song voice, but I tried to attack him, screaming and crying that Leo was the only one that could sing. He said he had to come in, turn the radio off and lead me to my room to lie down. Don also said I had a really bad migraine after that.

I get up and march over to that black radio. I grab the on/off dial…then just stand there. It's like I can't make myself turn it off. It's already to the second verse and Leo is creeping into my mind as the song goes on.

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear

Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side, I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Click.

My fingers finally twitch to turn the radio off. I stand in silence, letting the memories of Leo flow over me. Ones of our childhood, ones of our fights. I see his bright blue eyes shatter as he flies through a window, bleeding, barley breathing. His heart was barley holding onto life.

"Raph," Casey's voice brings me back to reality. I turn around, ready to try and joke with my friend. Instead, all I can see is a black blur as I realize… I'm crying. I can't let Casey see me like this.

My voice cracks as I say," I'm going for a walk."

Casey doesn't fallow me. Nobody does. They know I need to be alone.


When I get my hands on Shredder, I will kill him. Leo doesn't deserve anything he got. Why do such good people have to be put in such horrendous situations?

I can hear Mikey screaming back in the chicken coop. The chickens don't like him. He's probably being mobbed by a rally of chickens at this moment.

Slowly, the sounds of Mikey fade away and are replaced by the whistling wind and crunch of leaves. The land is recovering from our small winter. Leo is missing his favorite season, spring. It's still cold though. Leo always like the cold. I always thought he was crazy. But he's not. The cold makes you numb, blocks out the pain. And Leo had plenty of crap to block out.

The forest slowly starts to grow denser. None of us have gone this far into the forest. I guess I will be the first. The ground slopes upward so I have to climb. The cold nips at my bare skin. I can tell its getting colder. The sun is going down.

I remember when we were driving up here that Mikey sang. He sings when he's upset. I always thought that was a weird tick of his. Maybe he just does it so he can comfort himself when Leo isn't around. I wonder if it works…

I decide to sing. The last time I sang was when we all turned eight. I sang with Leo. He has such a beautiful voice. I wish I could hear it now.

Leo can you hear the devil drawing near
Like a bullet from a gun, run Leo run

I wish he could hear me. I wish he heard me when he was ambushed. Then maybe he wouldn't have been hurt. But all the wishing in the world cannot change what has happened.

All those songs you used to sing to me
Would rock us to sleep
I need you now so please somehow
Put rockets on your feet

Leo can you hear the devil drawing near
Like a bullet from a gun, run Leo run

My voice squeaks as I try to sing the next verse. This hurts. I just had to change the lyrics to this song, didn't I.

Saw those shining claws from a million miles away
Oh how I've dreaded this God forsaken day

Leo can you hear the devil drawing near
Like a bullet from a gun, run Leo run

Donnie's been crying in the barn
Mikey's been afraid of the dark
I've been gathering the pieces of our broken family
And I don't care where you go to
And I don't care what you say but
Just get out of there Leo as fast as you can

Leo can you hear the devil drawing near
Like a bullet from a gun, run Leo run

"Run, Leo, run…" By the time I stop singing, I'm at the top of the hill. The wind blows in my ears as I begin to talk again, "I want you back, Leo. Why can't you wake up. I miss you. I just…wish…I just…" My knees buckle and I find myself face first in the ground. I run my fingers through the grass sniffing," I'm so sorry, Leo. I should have been with you…If I close my eyes, Leo, will you wake up? You don't have to do anything. I just want to see your eyes, hear your voice. I want you here with me. Please…"

My eyes wander to the setting sun. Splashes of blues, pinks and yellows color the sky. Leo would have thought this was beautiful. Oh, Leo, I wish you could see this. I whisper his name as the wind blows by, and it's like that word is taken to the wind back to the farm house. Maybe he could hear me if I whisper. Or, maybe he can't.

After I say that, I hiccup till I stop crying. But I feel better…like a warm feeling is embracing me, comforting me.

And that's where I stay for the rest of the night.


We sit watching the sunset that I swear I just saw. He sits there, bandana blowing in the wind. His eyes are bright and alive.

"You're awake," I say. Leo looks at me, his eyes piercing.

"You woke me, you know," he says.

"Will you stay awake?"

"It is not my choice. But…" Leo stands and I watch as white wings spread and glow in the falling sun.

He's an angel. A pure, handsome angel. "Remember, Raph, I'm always with you. And I love you."

My heart jumps as Leo fly's into the sky. I jump up to run after him. But Leo fly's higher and higher, a big smile on his face.

That image is forever engraved in my mind.


My body is all wet and I'm shivering. My eyes open to see the sun glowing over me.

Sunrise. I slept out here all night dreaming…dreaming! No nightmares! And Leo didn't die! He was an angel! An angel…

As I stand, more tears start down my face. Man, when did I turn into such a baby?

"Raph! Raphie! Raph!" I hear in the distance. I recognize my friend's voices and the worry in them but it doesn't affect me. What's the pint of going back if Leo will never wake up?

I need you, too, Raphael.

My heart pounds. I know it's just that voice in my head but I hear Leo talk to me. That voice of his carry's me into a stride back to the farm house, then a sprint. Maybe he can hear me! Maybe he's found a way to talk to me! Or maybe… he's gone.

I fell sick as I crash through the trees into the clearing. I ignore Mikey, Casey and April as I sprint into the farmhouse, up the stairs and into the bathroom.

I see Donnie, pale and feeling Leo's pulse. His hands are shaking. Something in me snaps. A sob breaks through me the same time I become the mutant turtle vomit hose.


Leo's P.O.V.

You'd think hearing somebody puke would make you sick, too. I guess that's an upside to a coma. You never feel sick.

Donnie makes it clear who is puking. "Raph! Raph, where were you? Why are you sick?"

Nice question genius.

"What does it matter?" Raph groans, his sob hissing through his teeth. "I should go poison myself! Then I can be with Leo!"

"Raph, what is your problem-"

"It is my fault! It's my entire fault, Donnie! If I hadn't been out vandalizing buildings and fighting the Kraang, Leo would be okay! I should have been with him! I… I should have been there!"

Raph suddenly shuts up. I listen in carefully as Donnie soothes him," Raph, Leo wouldn't want you scaring yourself and us like this. He's still here. He hears you-"

"How can you be so sure!? How do you know he's not lost form us forever!? What if he can't hear us!? What if…"

My heart hurts as I pound against the wall. I have to get to Raph! He has to know I'm here. That I love him as much as he loves me! But the wall seems to push me back and I want to cry.

Shell, I love you, Raph. You got to know I'm trying! I'm trying so hard!

I hear footsteps near me. They stop abruptly and I wonder what's happened.

"Raph," Donnie whispers," Raph, get over here."

"What?" Raph sniffs," is he breathing? Please, tell me he's still breathing."

"Of course he is, Raph, but look. Look!"

I wonder what I did. I don't feel anything. I don't see anything. Raph cheers and whoops and hollers. Now I know what's going on. I push back to the wall as Raph screeches," HE'S CRYING! DONNIE, HE CAN HEAR US! HE'S REALLY CRYING! He can hear me! He can hear ME!"

"Yes!" Donnie cries joyfully. Both he and Raph are crying, "Yes…"

There's a crack! A small crack, but a crack! I have to fight! Raph, Donnie, my family, they're in reach!

"Oh, Leo!" Raph is still yelling as I pound and kick at the wall. "Leo! I love you so much!"

"I love you, too, Raph!" I yell," I love you, too!"

Donnie is gone it seems. I don't hear him. Then Raph whispers into my ear," I know you hear me. And I know you love me. I can sense it… I can hear it."

I cheer. Raph knows. I got to him. He heard me through the wall. Raph, I'm coming back. I know you're impatient and you may give up on me again, but I will make it back to you. I'll keep holding on…

For you.

For everyone.

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this story. And I would love to hear your opinion on if I should keep this as a one-shot or not. So please review! And again, thanks for reading.