Disclaimer: I do not own TDA, nor any of the affiliated characters. All characters and rights to the show go to Teletoon and Cartoon Network, as well as Fresh TV.

The pairings for TDA are as follows: Trent/Bridgette, Gwen/Noah, DJ/LeShawna, Ezekiel/Katie, Harold/Heather, Geoff/Courtney, Duncan/Eva, Cody/Beth, Owen/Sadie, Justin/Lindsay, Izzy/Tyler.

For reference:

Contestants participating- Joshua, Heather, Ezekiel, DJ, Eva, Noah, Cody, Tyler, Geoff, Harold, Izzy, Justin, Trent, Bridgette, and later Duncan

Not Particpating- Katie, Sadie, Beth, Gwen, Courtney, Owen, LeShawna, Lindsay

Total Drama Action

Chapter 1- Back To Basics

(recap, narrated by Chris Maclean)

Last season on Total Drama Madness, the Madness ensued in the crazy final challenge that had our finalists sporting opposite colored flags and going against each other in an obstacle course. Though Joshua was quick, he tripped up at the finish when he had to keep getting new eggs for the third part, which was to race to the finish line while balancing an egg on a spoon. In the end, it was a photo finish, but by a hand, Joshua emerged victorious to defy the odds and win me a bet as well as his own stack of loot, which he first multiplied tenfold by winning the special follow up challenge, only to end up splitting the money six ways with Duncan, Jesse, Noah, Rose, and Izzy after they won, only to then have to have one last showdown with the mysterious Hatchet Lord, who was later revealed to be Justin. Joshua then defeated him, and boarded the ferry after mopping up a beaten Duncan and reconciling with a reformed Noah, but the question now is, now that the contestants are all headed to the abandoned film lot for the next season where the winner will walk away with ONE……..BILLION……………DOLLARS!!!! Who will win it? Joshua, Izzy, Geoff, Bridgette, Trent, Ezekiel, Harold, DJ, LeShawna, Eva, Cody, Noah, Justin, Tyler, or Heather? Find out right now on the first ever episode of…. Total..Drama…Action!!!!

Theme Song (still "I Wanna Be Famous)

The cameras shine on some lights, then pan over to show DJ walking along, chatting with LeShawna, only to end up jumping into her arms when he heard Eva coming, only for LeShawna to toss him down and then storm off. Camera pans to Joshua, who is shown to be apparently chatting up Bridgette, Heather, and Izzy, only to stop abruptly, flash a rude hand gesture to Izzy, then walk off, leaving all three girls gaping openmouthed after him. The camera then pans to Noah and Cody, who are seen to be apparently playing chess, and Noah is losing badly, surprisingly. Joshua then walks by, makes a good move for Noah that gives him the win, causing Cody to smack himself in the head in annoyance. Joshua keeps walking but then turns around and flashes a rude hand gesture to the cameras and walks off. Camera then pans to Eva who is seen working out and talking to Tyler and then flashes Joshua a rude hand gesture that he returns in kind. Joshua then comes up to Harold, who he spots nearby, and tap him on the arm and causes Harold to toss his torch that he was using in the air, where it hit some passing gasoline and explodes into flames that rearrange themselves to form the words Total Drama Action

(end theme song)

As the bus pulled up to the abandoned film lot that Chris had instructed the campers to meet at, all of the campers got out, only to receive a surprise when they got off. "Joshua? Why are you here, eh?" asked Ezekiel.

"Because apparently, I'm competing in this season too, but Chris forgot to pick me up, the stupid dickweed. But I suppose it makes sense. Speaking of, where is Chris???" Joshua asked. Right as if on cue, aforementioned host walked up.

"Welcome, all, to the site of Total…Drama…Action!!!!!!! Here you will be competing for the chance to walk away with ONE……BILLION……DOLLAHS!!! Also, everything is much the same as last season, except for the confessionals, which are in a makeup booth now. Oh, and the dining hall was replaced as the Craft Services Tent, but the food's still being cooked by Chef. Now, without further ado, your first challenge will be to be the first one to reach the trailers, as depending on whether the winner is a guy or girl, they get first pick of the trailers for their gender this season. There is a separate challenge to determine the captains and teams, but that's not until later. For now, on your marks…get set…and…ACTION!!!!" said Chris. The campers all took off running in different directions.

(Confessional Room, we're ready for another wicked season)

Joshua- Okay, I didn't see that coming, but hey I've won worse challenges last time.

Heather- This season, victory shall be mine! Not to mention, I'm going to do my best to win my sweet Harold over. (blushes as she says this, and swoons)

Harold- This time, my mad skills will lead me to victory, so bring it on.

Ezekiel- Okay, eh, so I really need to watch what I say this time, eh. Last time I was voted off early because of my sexist comments, not to mention baiting Joshua, so I owe him an apology, as he rescued me from my imprisonment despite being a dick to him. I also owe the girls an apology for my sexist comments, because I know better know, eh.

Justin- This time, I shall win, not that prude Joshua. And I'll be looking pretty to boot.

DJ- Is it just me, or has anyone ever noticed how hot LeShawna is? (swoons, falls over, and knocks down the camera)

Noah- I was surprised just to qualify, but I'll do my best.

"Okay, so this is going to take awhile. I have to keep looking for those trailers." thought Noah to himself.

"Noah, the trailers are this way. Come on." said Joshua, who was passing.

"Okay, coming. Hang on." replied Noah. Joshua and Noah then continued to walk along and struggle along, only to find out that Joshua was leading him the right way, but when he turned around, it was only to find that there was a gigantic sea monster behind him, and it was after them!

"Joshua, go now! I'll take care of this!" said Noah as he pushed Joshua on and got captured by the monster, only to find that when he entered the inside of the monster, Izzy, LeShawna, Eva, Trent, Geoff, and DJ were already inside.

"So ol' Big and Gruesome got you guys too, huh?" Noah asked as he sat down. Eva quirked an eyebrow at the bookworm's casual attitude, then said,

"yeah, so it looks like either Ezekiel, Heather, Harold, Joshua, Bridgette, Cody, Justin, or Tyler is going to get first pick of the trailers." No sooner than she had said this, however, than the monster's mouth opened again, this time admitting Tyler, Bridgette, and Cody.

"Great so that narrows it to Heather, Zeke, Joshua, Justin, and Harold." said Geoff. About twenty minutes later, the mouth opened again, and this time Harold and Justin fell in.

"Dammit, easy on my face!" Justin snapped at the sea monster as it closed its mouth.

"So, with you guys here, that means either Heather, Joshua, or Ezekiel will get first pick of the trailers, it looks like." Trent observed.

(Confession Room- Did anyone get the license plate on that monster, eh?)

Ezekiel- Damn, that was one huge monster, eh. So, If I can duck Joshua and Heather, then I win, eh. Righteous.

Joshua- Holy shit, that was close. Thank god Noah saw that beast coming, and let me escape. Now I just need to get to the trailers.

Harold- Heather didn't have to push me right into the beast's path. Gosh!

Ezekiel turned around just in time to see the monster rearing back to strike at him, so he said,

"Bring it on, you freak, eh." Then he charged in with a spear in his hand, which was knocked away, and he would have been eaten, were it not for Joshua jumping in and saving him, only to slip and almost fall into the monster's mouth, narrowly managing to grab the edge of the cliff they were on, only for Heather to come along and kick the hand he was using to hold his footing, which caused him to fall into the monster's open mouth.

(Confession Room-WTF???)

Joshua- Not cool, Heather. Not cool. You're lucky you're a girl, or I'd rearrange your face and make your life a worse hell than it already is and then I'd personally kick your ass off this set, so I'd be careful what enemies you make.

Ezekiel- Wow, what Heather did to Joshua was totally uncalled fur, eh. I cant' believe that she'd be so coldhearted, eh.

Heather- YES!!!!! Finally, I knocked that overconfident bastard off his overgrown high horse- BOOOM!!! CRASH!!! SPLAT!!! (In case it was hard to figure out what happened, the Confession Room blew up and crashed into the nearby wall, forcefully ejecting heather into the adjacent wall, where she collided with it and was turned into a flat pancake a la Pac-Man 2, and even did the humorous whoopee cushion, float to ground, and you died tune as well.

Joshua and Ezekiel- Joshua: Oh criminy, that was awesome, I didn't think that my grenade would knock Heather out and cause her to do a Bang! That was poetic justic about a hundred times over as well as karma. I just wish Gwen, Trent, LeShawna, and everyone else could see that. Ezekiel: Now that is funny, eh.

Eventually, Ezekiel found himself at the trailers and realized he was the first there, with Joshua close behind, and Heather not far behind that.

"Looks like we have a winner! Ezekiel, for being the first one here, you get to pick which trailer the guys are sleeping in this season!" said Hatchet when everyone else was present and accounted for. Of course, right just then, the monster fell onto the left trailer and smashed it flat.

"Okay, I pick the non-squashed trailer, eh." replied Ezekiel.

"Very well then, that means the girls get the squashed, fixer-upper trailer leftover. Now get inside and figure out bunk arrangements, then get to sleep, as tomorrow the challenge starts early, and will have the first elimination afterward, followed by the selection of the teams based on the results of tomorrow's challenge. So sleep well." said Hatchet. Once inside, Joshua surveyed the beds, then said,

"Anyone have any preference on whether they get a top-or-bottom bunk?" When no one spoke up, Joshua said,

"Good. I propose that we have all the weaker guys on top while the stronger guys get the bottom so that if the strong guys accidentally break their bed, they won't crush the other guy in their bunk bed. Anyone have anyone they want to bunk with?"

"Yeah, I do, eh. I'd like to share a bunk bed with either you or Harold, eh." replied Ezekiel.

"Noted. Any other requests?" asked Joshua. When there were none, Joshua cleared his throat and said,

"Good. The sleeping arrangements are as follows then: in Bunk 1, we'll have DJ on bottom and Trent on top. Bunk 2 will have Tyler on bottom and Cody on top. Bunk 3 will have Harold on bottom and Zeke on top. Bunk 4 will have me on bottom and Noah on top. Now that that's settled, let's hit the sack so we'll be in peak physical form for tomorrow's challenge." said Joshua. For the girls the arrangements were thus: Bunk 1- Gwen on bottom, top empty Bunk 2-Eva on bottom, top empty Bunk 3-LeShawna on top, bottom empty Bunk 4- Heather on top, Izzy on bottom.

"Well, there you have it folks, the guys are the winners of the first challenge and that chump Ramsey owes me fifty bucks now. Who will be the first one off the show? Will I keep winning bets with Ramsey? To find out, keep watching Total…..Drama….Action!!!!!"