Stress always overwhelmed me, taking over my emotions in whichever way it seemed fit.
It didn't matter the reason; something would always stress me out- always make me worry. Just recently, I'd been put under more stress than ever after a failed mission. Well, I can't say it was a complete failure. We brought back some information on the outside world, despite losing ten of our comrades. Why did it bring me stress, you ask? One name: Heichou.
Captain Levi had a passion for torturing me both physically and emotionally. It got worse after we failed. His constant badmouthing of my skills made me wonder why he even offered to look after me. I may not have always been as skilled as the others, but I knew I had potential. Maybe, someday, the captain would see that. Maybe one day he'd actually notice my hard work and devotion-
My brain won't shut up..!
I rolled over in bed after flipping my pillow to the colder side. I was in a new room, near the other recruits. The sun kissed my eyelids red, slowly waking my conscious. Please let me stay asleep. Please don't let me wake up. I want to… sleep…
BAM
My eyes shot open. Captain Levi was standing in the doorway, shoulders stiff. The black aura surrounding him scared the shit out of me. As soon as he started taking long strides toward my bed, I sat up to scoot farther away.
"C-captain-sir?!" my voice cracked.
He stopped just at the edge of my bed and leaned over. "Why the hell aren't you up yet? I've been waiting for thirty minutes." His grey eyes were cold. I couldn't bring myself to answer. Regardless of my excuse, he would have kicked me in the jaw without a second thought. His hand balled into a fist on my shirt. My face was pulled close to his. "You've got some god damn nerve, sleeping in. You do know that I can't eat breakfast without you, right? I'm hungry as fuck. Why do you…" He trailed off.
"Captain?"
His eyes lowered.
"…Are you hard?"
"W-what?!" I looked down. Surely enough, there it was. I had morning wood. I glanced back up at his eyes, which were fixated on my lower body. Blood rushed to my cheeks. "D-don't look!" I pulled the sheets over myself.
"Ah. Gross." He looked away.
"N-no it's- I just- It's normal for a teenage boy and I- I-"
"Anyway," The captain ignored my jabbering, released my shirt, and headed toward my window, where he drew open the dusty curtains. When the particles in the sun caught his eye, he grimaced. "Disgusting; that's more to clean later…" He turned on his heel to look at me. "As I said before, I can't eat without you. If you don't get out of bed, I'll kill you."
"B-but I'm-"
"Get the fuck up, kid." He began to head out the door, but stopped to look over his shoulder indirectly at me. "Ah, and, if, by any chance, you get this way again…" he turned away. "Feel free to come into my room."
That took me by surprise. "Wha-"
"Get the fuck up." The door slammed.
My eyes were glued open.
The captain… he just… what did he mean by what he said…?
Honestly, it made me rather curious.
. . .
After everyone had breakfast, we went out to the field for some training. It was simple hand-to-hand combat, but, even so, I couldn't focus. What the captain had said that morning kept repeating over and over in my head, regardless of what I tried to focus on.
My room. Come to my room. Feel free. Feel free to come to my room. By and chance you get this way again. My room. Come to my room. Come t-
WHACK
"OUCH!" I was thrown onto the ground by a great amount of force. My eyes rolled around; the world was spinning. Once they focused, Jean was standing above me. "What the hell was that for?!"
He knit his brows as if I was stupid for asking about his actions. "Pride? Mikasa was looking-"
A slim, booted foot came out of nowhere and landed firmly under his cheek bone. Like a puppet whose strings were cut, he fell sideways and landed face first. The attacker, Mikasa, twisted her ankle around to relax it from the impact. "Are you okay, Eren?" Her callused, muscular hand was held out for my usage, but I ignored it and stood. A relaxed smile faintly appeared on her face. "I'm glad."
"Why… Mikasa… Ah, why did it have to be my faaace!" Jean curled up into fetal position, his face in his hands. Marco ran to his aid without hesitation.
Ignoring them, my childhood friend took hold of my hand and began walking alongside me. 'Why were you spaced out like that? It's not like you… Is something bothering you?" she stared at me.
Ah… My face got hot.I thought of how to respond, but nothing in particular came to mind. "Nothing is wrong, you worry wart." I lied. How was I supposed to tell her what Captain had hinted toward me? She and Levi would kill each other. Or me. Most likely me. I could see the odds turning; they always do. "I'm just tired."
"Really?" My heart jumped when she paused, looking at her feet. Mikasa had a knack for seeing through lies. Before long, she spoke again. "I let you sleep in, though…"
No wonder I'd slept in; why didn't she wake me up? My life was in danger because of this woman. "I'm just lacking sleep, ok? That damn Hanji keeps harassing me until two in the morning."
"Ah, I can kill them-"
I put my hands up defensively. "No, no, no- Don't do anything that can get us both killed."
"I was joking." Her voice sounded unsure. "Make sure you get some sleep tonight, okay?"
Come to my room.
My cheeks flushed. "Mm." was the only answer I could manage.
After we walked in silence for a few seconds, she stopped. I turned, confused. Her eyes were searching for the lie in my eyes for the longest time. "Eren, you know you can tell me anything, right?"
I looked away before my face heated again. "You're a worry wart, you know."
Just knowing that Mikasa wouldn't be pleased with any intimate interactions with Levi made me uneasy, but, at the same time, it wasn't in her position to judge, was it? No, of course she'd feel entitled. We'd been together for so long, I'm sure she thought it was natural to know everything that went on in my life. But… if I did look into the captain's words and ended up doing something with him, I would never want her to know. It wouldn't be anything with emotions attached; it'd only be a little session to cure curiosity. That's how I viewed it, so I wouldn't tell Mikasa- ever.
. . .
Nightfall came a lot later than I wanted it to. My body was sore from being forced to wash the second story windows after training. I hadn't seen Levi at all throughout the day, which was very strange. Wasn't he supposed to be keeping watch over me? As I lay down on my cold bed, exhausted, the stress in my shoulders made them throb. My whole body became tense in just a few seconds. When I began to rub my shoulders slowly, the sensation it gave went down to my knees. My eyes closed by themselves. I massaged from my wrist to my neck, from my neck to my chest, from my chest to my sides. Why did it feel so good? As my fingers lingered lower, my back arched on impulse. I'm hard? It must have been the stress. Maybe it was the sensation that my muscles relaxing caused.
I spread my legs a bit and rubbed the innocent bulge between my legs. A moan escaped the hollow of my throat. "Fuck…" What was I going to do about it? There was nowhere to cum without it being spotted by the OCD clean freak that was Levi Heichou. I didn't want to imagine his reaction to finding semen-covered sheets or clothes. There was nothing else in the room that I could have used. I kept rubbing gently, sure to not make myself reach climax.
"Come to my room."
The words echoed in the back of my mid. Was he serious about that? I thought to myself. Would he help me with my current situation…?
I sat in silence for a minute or so. I really did want to go try, even though I was scared he was just speaking his usual dark humor. I really wanted to see if he was serious about it. I really wanted to see. As if I was possessed, my body rolled off of the bed. My bare feet pattered on the wood floor as I snuck out of my room. Levi's room was just a short walk from there; I could make it there without being spotted…
"I'm only curious…" I mumbled an excuse, and then stealthily slipped down the corridor.
. . .
Levi's door was unlocked.
When I opened it, I thought the loudness of my heartbeat would give my position away. I shut the door behind myself, scared out of my mind. What was I doing? I refused to believe that I was actually sneaking into Captain's room. My penis was doing all the thinking for me. He was facing the back wall. His bare back, marked with the harness's silhouette, invited me over to him. I sat on his bed, careful to shift my weight to my feet to reduce the impact. Once I was sitting comfortably, my mind began to race.
How should I approach this…? My thighs rubbed together, desperate. Should I wake him up? What should I say? Hey, I'm here to fuck you- no, no, no I can't say that, what the hell… Maybe I'll just… Just…
My conscious was overpowered by lust. I slipped my lips over his jugular. His scent was so manly and clean… cologne and… Windex? The smell was barely there, but it made me smile to myself. The captain could be cute sometimes. I ran my tongue along his jaw, up to his earlobe. Overtaken by his taste on my tongue, I accidently let out a hoarse moan into his ear.
Captain's eyes shot open.
I was suddenly on the floor with pain manifesting in my ribs. Had he kicked me? Punched me? It felt like a horse stomped on my ribs as I helplessly lied on the ground. Nervous, and now more scared than I ever had been, I looked up onto the bed, where Captain Levi sat, glaring.
"You." Captain Levi cocked his heads to the side. There was absolutely no emotion on his face. "What the fuck are you doing?"
I crawled backwards instinctually. "I-I'm sorry-"
Captain's face was suddenly inches from mine. "I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear, Jaeger. I asked, what the fuck are you doing."
His hands gripped around my neck. Chills ran down my spine. I was unable to speak.
He scoffed and threw me back onto the floor before standing. His eyes caught on my crotch. "You're hard? What a perverted bastard. So, what'd you come here to do?" It must have been a rhetorical question. He was playing with me; there wasn't a questioning tone anywhere in his voice. After a moment of silence, he nudged my leg with his foot, threatening to kick. "You aren't answering my questions, kid. I'm getting pissed off."
"I-I came here because you… You said this morning… If it… got…" I couldn't look him in the eyes nor speak correctly. I didn't want to be kicked anymore. Call it trauma, if you will.
"Ah, I see." He ran his hands through his hair and sat on the bed. His expression looked lost; he looked as if he was thinking over a few things. When he noticed me staring, he rolled his eyes. "Okay, come on."
What?
"What…?"
"Are you stupid? Come on; before I change my mind."
I sat on the cold floor with a blank face for a second. His words seemed to calm. Is this really happening? I… I'm going to touch the captain…? Curiosity and lust got the best of me as I crawled over to the bed. When I sat next to Levi, the bed creaked. His cold eyes pierced mine. I hadn't realized that I was shaking. Don't stare so harshly… I leaned over and kissed his lips. They were softer than I thought they'd be. Over and over, our lips slipped in between each other's. Wet sounds echoed in my ears. After four or five kisses, I backed away, eyes open.
His face hadn't lightened up. In fact, he was now grimacing.
"You kiss like a fucking child."
My eyes shot open. Like a child…? Like a child?! How dare you… I'll show you…! Competing for a compliment, my lips landed on his again. My tongue slipped over his teeth, begging for entrance. To my surprise, his jaw loosened. Our tongues caressed each other, sharing the warmth of one another. Deeper and deeper, still competing, our necks twisted every which way as we kissed. Ten seconds passed; it felt like an hour went by. When our lips departed, I noticed a string of saliva stuck to Levi's lower lip and my tongue. Blood rushed to my face, but the composed Levi simply rolled his eyes and wiped his mouth off.
"You kiss like a fucking child." He repeated.
I felt my ears getting hotter and hotter. "H-how the hell do you want me to kiss?!"
He didn't answer.
Embarrassed, I pushed him down on the bed and shoved my tongue in his mouth. How was I supposed to kiss him?! I was being gentle before; maybe that's what he didn't like? I suffocated him in a rough French kiss, and, for the longest time, he showed no response, until, finally, I heard a small sound in his chest. Did he just grunt? All I wanted was a clear response from him. I shoved my tongue under his, avoided our teeth meeting, and bit the tip of his tongue. There, again, I thought I heard him groan. When I pulled away to see his expression, he nipped at my top lip.
"Nng!" I sat up slowly. "Captain?! W-" My words cut short.
The expression he always had was still there, but his eyes spoke out a lewd sweetness. His chest was moving up and down, marking each deep breath he took. I looked down beside my thigh. He was getting hard; not as much as I was, but the shape had definitely changed. I leaned back down, bit his lip gently, and ran my hand down his slim, muscular body. Right before my hand could get into his shorts, a wave up pain went up my face to my ears. My hand went to my mouth when I felt a tickle. My lip is bleeding?!
I shot back from Levi, shocked. "W-what the hell!"
Captain knit his brows. He looked offended. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
I knit my brows as well. "What do you mean what am I doing?! I'm trying to touch you!"
"I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a kid dominate me." He mumbled sourly.
Without another word, his big hands wrapped around my neck. He used all of his strength to push me down onto the bed. When his grip loosened, I coughed. "What are-"
He leaned over me and reached into his nightstand. I looked up at what he was rummaging through. There was the distinct sound of metal clinking together and papers rustling. What he pulled out surprised me more than anything he'd ever done. It was a pair of handcuffs. Where the fuck did he get handcuffs?! Before I could protest, my arms were pinned above my head and cuffed around the bed frame. My eyes widened. Are you joking with me?! Just when I thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen I felt something cold wrap around my neck. After I heard a latching 'click', I realized the captain had put a leather collar on me. Dangling from the collar was a chain about a yard long. The cold steel rested against my body and froze my skin through my shirt.
"That'll do." Levi stroked his chin, deep in thought. "Thanks to Erwin for buying these."
What? Erwin? Why would he- never mind. I don't want to know.
"Uhm, Captain-"
"Mm?"
"W-why am I handcuffed-"
"Shit,I forgot to take your shirt off first." He grabbed a knife from the nightstand and cut the sides of my shirt. Torn, it easily came off, exposing my chest. Levi walked across the room to throw the scraps of cloth away. What a clean freak.
"Captain?"
He wasn't listening to me at all.
"Captain!" I hissed.
His eyebrows rose as he slowly approached me.
"Take these off!" I shook the handcuffs. "What the hell is this?!"
He rolled his eyes. "Tsk. When I said you could come into my room, did you think you'd be the one fucking me?"
My heart stopped. No… No he wouldn't. But sadly, he would. I began to thrash around violently. "Let me go, damn it!"
"Oi, shut up." He slapped my right cheek to calm me down. Right, panicking wouldn't do me any good. It'd only annoy the captain. There was zero chance he'd listen to what I had to say anyway. I looked up at him as he sat beside me. "I'm not on the receiving end, Eren." He whispered. My name on his lips sent chills down to my hips. "You came here because of this, right?" His hand shamelessly went to my shorts. I whimpered quietly. Shit, how am I still hard? Captain undid the button on my pants and pulled them to my knees, exposing my erection. I was immediately embarrassed. A single, chilly finger poked at the top of it. I arched my back. "Hmm…?" He noticed my reaction.
"Y-"
Before I could even utter a word, he gripped my waist and flipped me onto my knees. The handcuffs twisted, overlapping my hands. The position he had put me in was the most embarrassing one possible. My ass was in the air, exposed right before his very eyes. I looked over my shoulder at Levi, whose eyes were fixed on my bare ass.
Tears welded up in my eyes. "Don't look!"
He looked up, and then pulled at the chain, yanking my head back. "Damn, you're so cute."
Silently, he began stroking my most sensitive place. The feeling was so foreign: a man's hands on my… "Captain- n-no…" My forehead pressed into Levi's pillow, which smelt like his cologne. The smell filled my lings and clouded my brain. The way he was touching me was too much. "Nnh… ah… no…"
"Ah, just as I thought." He began jacking me off a bit faster and leaned over my body to whisper in my ear. "You're just so damn cute… Eren."
I bit down on the pillow and moaned louder. Why was his voice affecting me that much? It was enough to make me cum alone. I wanted him to touch me more. I wanted to taste every inch of him. I wanted for us to connect in a way nobody in the legion had before. For the first time in fifteen years, I felt my consciousness being overpowered by a mere sensation.
"Eren…"
That was it.
I'd fallen.
Captain lifted my hips a bit higher. Something thick and slimy ran down the bottom of my back. Was he licking me? His lips landed on various places along my back, then ended up on my ass.
"C-captain?!" I looked back over my shoulder. "No- Don't kiss there!"
His grey eyes looked distant, in a trance. He continued to kiss as if he hadn't heard anything I said. Then, it entered me. My eyes shot open. Why would he put his tongue in that place?! Before I could yell at him, an odd sensation sent chills up my spine. My face landed back on the pillow as I moaned. My voice wouldn't keep inside my chest; it was embarrassing as hell. Captain kept prodding around my asshole with his tongue. It was such an odd feeling, but it was so sexy in a way.
"Mmm... ah…" I breathed heavier once he began rubbing my cock again. "Nng... nn…"
"You're so perverted." He mumbled. You're one to talk, I thought silently. When his tongue was removed from me, another thing had replaced it. His middle finger reached deeper than his tongue had. After he moved around a bit, it touched a sensitive spot that sent me off the edge.
"Don't put your…f.. finger… nn… W-wait… agh.. ah ah… nng…" The foreign sensation made my body react differently than I'd expected. My body tightened. My toes curled. I flexed my shoulders and clenched my hands. "W-wait, s-stop! I-I'm- ah.. ah nnn.. ahh~!"
I heard the wetness of my cum land in the captain's hand. My eyes opened wide when I realized what had happened. When I turned, Levi was looking over his hand, disgusted. "Gross."
"If it's gross then don't look at it!" I yelled out of embarrassment.
He observed it a bit more, then brought his hand to his mouth. His pale pink tongue reached down and lapped up the transparent white liquid.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" I wanted to reach back and stop him, but metal clanking reminded me that I was cuffed to the bed. I helplessly watched him lick all of my fresh cum from his fingers. It was odd at first, but as I watched him, I found myself getting hotter. "C-captain…?"
"It tastes disgusting." He groaned before getting off of the bed. From his nightstand, he grabbed skin-safe disinfecting wipes to clean his hands. I know it was a stereotypical thing for him to do, but it pissed me off. If he truly didn't want my cum on him, he should have stopped when I told him to...
"Can you take the cuffs off me now?" I looked down at the wet spots of the pillow where I had bitten. I didn't want to make eye contact with him after what had happened.
I heard him rummage around the nightstand a bit. I assumed he'd gotten the key to uncuff me, but, to my surprise, I felt a cloth wrap around my overlapping wrists. When I looked up, I gasped. He used a small key to take the metal cuffs off, but the cloth remained. I was free to move from the bed frame, but I couldn't move my wrists. I sat up to my knees, confused. My eyes looked up into Levi's for an explanation. He scoffed and gripped the chain, bringing my face close to his stomach. "It's my turn, Jaeger."
What? Does that mean I have to… but my wrists are tied; I can't jack him off… Don't tell me he wants me to use my… mouth… I c-
The sound of a zipper caught my attention. The captain skillfully used one arm to drop down his pants and underwear to his knees. The sight of his erection before my face was very weird for me. I'd never seen another man's penis; definitely not one that size. He used the collar and chain to bring my face closer to it. The tip ran across my cheek when I tried to turn away.
"Eren."
I looked up.
"Eren."
I clenched my jaw.
"…Eren."
Fuck it.
I opened my mouth and used my tongue to bring the captain into me. The taste of the thin flesh was lewd and oddly satisfying. Trying to imagine what would feel good on me, I sucked on the tip for a few seconds before running my tongue along the shaft. Levi's hand gripped the back of my head fiercely. It felt like he was pulling my hair out, and I winced. I looked up to glare, but…
His lips were slightly parted, and his breathing was getting faster. Had what I done felt good? Encouraged, I continued to bring his cock in and out of my mouth. Every now and then, I'd focus my tongue in any spot that made Heichou react. Once I began bobbing my head on the tip, his hips began to rock. The sexiness of it all was making me hard again, so I reached down to stroke myself.
"Mm… mm… m-nn?!"
Captain gripped my hair harder and began to force my head down. His hips began to thrust violently against my mouth. The feeling of his warmth on the back of my throat nearly made me gag, but I endured it. His dick went further and further back until it cut off my vocal chords and airway. Endure it… endure it…
His hips moved faster and faster. His mouth dropped open and his eyes shut. For the first time, I heard his voice. "Haa… haa… ha… mm… mm… nn… urk… haa… nn..!" His body violently shook. My mouth and throat was suddenly being filled with a warm, bitter liquid.
"Mmm..!" I pinched my eyes closed. My hands were suddenly covered in warmth. I had come again, just by hearing Levi moan.
"Haa… haa…" he pulled out of my mouth quickly, causing cum and drool to spill down my chin. I swallowed what was left in my mouth before looking up to the captain with watery eyes. He dropped the chain onto the bed. "Not bad, kid…" His voice was hoarse and solemn. He grabbed the cleaning wipe and wiped off my chin gently. "We should stop here for tonight." He mumbled.
I knit my brows. "Why?"
He pulled up his pants before walking away to throw the wipe into the bin. "I have to be up in four hours for a meeting."
My heart dropped. That was all? That was it? A warm hand lifted my face. Levi looked deep into my eyes with a look that clearly said "patience". I nodded, still disappointed. Captain untied my wrists after cleaning my filthy hands with a clean wipe. There was a red mark where it had been cutting off blood circulation. My hands throbbed for a moment as I pulled my pants up. Levi sat back down on the bed silently. I began to walk to the door, but turned back.
Levi's head was in his hands. Had he regretted doing something so perverse with me? Guilt struck my heart as I opened the bedroom door. Right before closing it, I heard something.
"Eren."
I peeked back in the room.
Heichou was resting his arms on one lifted leg. His face was still hidden behind his hands. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at breakfast, okay?"
He said that, but all I heard was "don't run away".
A dorky smile spread over my face, if only for a split second. "Yea..." I shut the door.
The cold air nipped at my bare chest as I walked down the corridor. I just… With captain… I…
I blushed deeply and covered my face with one hand. The feelings I had within me were not of satisfaction like I'd hoped, but something else; something quite the opposite. Loneliness? Disappointment?
"It wouldn't be anything with emotions attached; it'd only be a little session to cure curiosity."
…What a stupid thing to think.
. . .
