Basement obsessions

Disclaimer: If I owned FFX/FFX-2, I wouldn't write fanfics.

Rikku & Paine: YUNA/YUNIE! (they catch her by the hands)

Paine: She didn't take her pills!

Rikku: I saw her swallow them!

Paine: She probably hid them under her tongue again!

Brother: What's wrong? Is Yuna okay?!

Paine: She's about to fall to her DOOMED death upon the DOOMED mountain!

Brother: AHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I am there!

Paine looks below Yuna, into the mountain crevace, and sees Brother scampering every which way.

Paine: Wow. He wasn't kidding (lets go of Yuna, which is too much weight for the weak Rikku, and drops her too)

Rikku: Paine!!!!!!! What is it with you and pain?!

Paine: I dunno, one would kind of figure by the name. Hmph. Speaking of pain-shoves Rikku, who falls with Yuna-have fun!

Rikku: You psyco! hears Paine laugh and evil, sadistic one

Both Rikku and Yuna land on Brother, who looks strangly excited when wakes from conscienceness

Brother: Yuna AND Rikku!

Rikku: struggles under Yuna's waking form WHAT!?!?!?!

Brother: smiles a freaky smile that sends a disturbing shivver up Rikku's spine

Rikku: SICKO! flies up under Yuna, who crashes aside, and begins at kicking Brother vigorously in the side with a GREAT HUGE HUMONGOUS fury SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO!

Brother: gasps I was kidding Rikku! I don't think you're hot! I don't watch you sleep at night!

Rikku: screams and picks up Yuna by the legs and continuessly hits Brother with her like a baseball bat SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! stops when realizes that Brother actually seems to enjoy being bloodily beaten by Yuna

Auron: comes out of nowhere Go SHEBA! Kimahri comes out of nowhere and rips Brother to shreds

Brother's screams of agony finally wake Yuna.

Yuna: Auron! You're back!

Auron: Fumbles words Um-uh-NO I'M NOT! throws a small sphere on the ground that bursts into gas, when it clears, he's gone

Yuna: NO!

Rikku: We fight for Middle-Earth! helps Kimahri smash Brother

Yuna: shrugs and grabs a tree-trunk from its roots You'll never get Cold Mountain!

John: comes in Okay guys, you're WAY off the script.

Wakka: Ya?! Well, you're only stage crew in FFX, in FFX-2 you're Gippal, NO ONE ELSE!

John: You're not even in this scene!

Wakka: And Brother isn't supposed to be dead, ya?

John: WHAT?! shoves everyone aside and looks at Brother's mangled body. Then bends down and feels for the heartbeat I hear the "BA" but not the "BUM" hears BUM Oh! There it is! Okay, I won't arrest you guys.

Yuna: Arrest us?

John: flips open his wallet, revealing a badge FBI, you guys could have been assaulted for murder.

Yuna: Oh. throws the tree-trunk aside

John: I'm here to make sure you guys don't commit another murder, they say that Seymour was just an actor, but I think he was real, and you murdered him--SEVERAL TIMES! People have never believed me-hunches down, fumbles fingers--and mother never paid much ATTENTION to me, but I'll prove it-I'll show you ALL!

Yunalesca: walks in What's going on?

John: points accusingly YOU! I remember what YOU did! You were the one who killed off Auron with your good looks. No man could resist your charm!

Yunalesca: He was just an actor.

John: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was gazing into your eyes!

Rikku: Eyes?

Brother: lifts head, and at one glance of Yunalesca is filled with energy anew AHAHAHHAA! What was I thinking BEFORE?!?! runs to hug her, but Yunalesca gives his the Auron slap, sending him flying

John: SHE"S AT IT AGAIN!

Yunalesca: points to Lulu who hasn't had one line so far She told me to!

Lulu: Don't push this on me!

Yunalesca: You're just jealous that I'm prettier!

Lulu: I'm not the one who wears a swimmingsuite 24/7!

They get into a cat-fight. Brother watches intently, while John pulls out his gun and can't quite figure out which one to shoot. So Yuna knocks them out with the side of her gun.

Yuna: I'm prettier than both of you combined!

Kimahri: Narrator care less! It's only the guys she cares about!

That's right! So I lock Shuyin, Tidus, John/Gippal, Barali(am I forgetting anyone? I think not) into an underground lair, shackled against the walls. MUAHAHAHA!

Shuyin: whines I want to see Lenne!

Tidus: whines I want to see Yuna!

John: whines I want to see the cat-fight!

Barali: whines I want to see a skin doctor!

Me: evilly Well, too bad! You're in my lair now, don't even think- hacks and chokes, revealing a blue firball, but my accent comes out fine-Don't even think about escaping.

Barali: That's curious.

John: That's crazy.

Tidus: That's--eww.

Shuyin: I'm a little turned on.

Me: I knew it! I knew you were the twisted one!

Shuyin: Don't tell me you understand!

Me: What? I thought we were communicating.

Shuyin: Lenne?

Me: What?

Shuyin: We can finally fade, together?

Me: Uh-okay, whatever blows your skirt up.

Shuyin: YOU ARE NOT LENNE!

Me: WHAT?!?!?

Shuyin breaks free from the shakles and tries to hit me, but I grab his fist and say "Hi there." Finally getting why he's freaking out.

Me: Let's go home.

Shuyin: After these centuries, this moment is all we get.

Me: already tired of acting Look bub, you're trapped here, I'm all you got, accept it, or I'll sick Kimahri on you!

Tidus: Kimahri's Auron's kitty!

Me: You! Keep your mouth shut! You're in enough trouble as it is, young man!

TIdus: SORRY! cries

Me: Man, somethings missing here.

Shuyin: YOU ARE NOT LENNE!

Me: Oh, shut up!

John: Can I say something?

Me: NO!

Barali: I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Me: Can it wait?

Barali: NO!

Me: HOLD IT!

Barali: I can't!

Me: Don't make me put a diaper on you!

Barali: grunt

Me: Something's wrong here, I've kidnapped a bunch of babies.

Seymour: How about me? gives a toothy grin in his superman suit, hmph, he must use Crest

Me: How about no?

Seymour: Oh, come on! It bites being dead!

Me: Get a haircut and I'll think about it.

Seymour: Can do! disappears

Me: I give up, I guess nothing beats the original--OH, SESHI!!!

Seeshomouru comes out of nowhere, and indeed, saves the day.