Lynn Sr. had just set up his new restaurant, and customers were piling in. Within hours, it was packed with people from all over Royal Woods.

"This is great!" he cried to nobody in particular. "Can anything ruin this day?"

Mere moments after he said that, a bus pulled up to the parking lot. When the bus driver got out of the driver's seat to take a leak, Lincoln spied a golden opportunity and made a break for it.

"Lincoln, no!" said Rita, grabbing him by the shirt collar. "We've been over this. You're too young to drive the bus."

But nobody tells Lincoln what he can't do and gets away with it, as Rita would soon learn. He whistled as loud as he could, and Rita was immediately confronted by Hank and Hawk, who were now Lincoln's loyal servants because I don't know lol. They beat up Lincoln's bitch mummy, giving him just enough time to hop into the bus and grab the steering wheel.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing?!" yelled the bus driver. "You can't drive a bus! You're eleven!"

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" hollered Lincoln as he peeled out of the parking lot. "THIS IS MYYYYYYY BUS!"

The boy proceeded to go on a joyride from hell - crashing into buildings, knocking down street signs and even running over Maggie. Fortunately, no charges were pressed for that last one, since he ran over a character so staggeringly irrelevant that the writers just straight up forgot who she was. (No, really, look it up.) On the way he picked up a bevy of hos who took turns making out with him whilst he drove the bus.

Around noon he and his hos were getting pretty hungry, so he crashed the bus clean through the wall of the Burpin' Burger and screamed, "GIMME 500 BIG MACS FOR FREE OR I'M GONNA RUN OVER ALL YOUR GRANDMAS!"

"You can't do that!" the store manager cried in his willowy prissy cuck voice. "And we don't even serve Big Macs!"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT, BECAUSE I'M LINCOLN MOTHERFUCKIN' LOUD, BITCH!"

Just to hammer his point home, he and his hos all yelled, "FREEEEE LUUUUUUUUNCH" in unison, and their combined voices were so loud that the windows shattered.

And so, Lincoln got his Big Macs and was on his way. The hos continued to pleasure him as he ate and drove - except for one, who was thrown out the window after Lincoln sneezed and she failed to bless him and wish him good health. She was a bit of a pill anyway so nobody really cared.

Eventually, Lincoln got bored of Royal Woods and decided to take his bus all across the country, from California to the New York Island. This was a real road trip, without any broken windows or nasty thots eating bean chips. But sadly, all good things must come to an end; disaster struck when he stopped by the Grand Canyon, just so he could see how grand and canyon it is. He accidentally drove the bus into a gorge, and it exploded into fifty duodecilion pieces when it hit the ground. Lincoln survived the crash because he's Lincoln Motherfuckin' Loud, but he got a tiny little cut on his pinky toe, which got a nasty infection. In minutes he was dead as shit.

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